Just another day in the office, so to speak. Except for the slight difference that I seem to be dragging the two girls with me. The schools were still out, and I had no one to watch them. Or rather, no one I trusted. And I still needed to see a lawyer. I was thinking of going to Lilah, I couldn't really think of anyone else who would be able to pull off what I wanted. Other then Gunn that is, who I just can't seem to catch.
I was tempted to ask Jennifer, but it wasn't really her job. And it would appear she didn't have time. Which was when I thought of Lorne. He seemed like the fellow to be good with the girl, I trusted him and...hopefully he had time. Since the girls had been rescued by the Slayers and seen demons, it wasn't hard to explain. A little tricky, but I think I've convinced them that Lorne was a good guy.
Not to mention he'd convince them of that himself with his...well, he does have a warm and very taking personality. The girl will like him. Let's hope its the other way around as well.
Alicia was trailing behind me, playing on that damn game boy, while Marilee clutched my hand and held her Boo with the other as we made our way over to Lorne's office. Which was when I heard Fred's voice shouting something. She sounded angry and worried at the same time. Worried, I glanced over at Alicia, who'd also heard it and then at Marilee.
"Stay here for a bit girls, I'll be right back." I waited until Alicia was holding Marilee's hand and then smile when two pairs of bit, frightened eyes looked up at me. Then I walked over to Lorne's office and peered inside. There was Fred, and some chap she was slapping around. Quite literally.
"Fred? What's going on? Where's Lorne?"
A quick glance around the office didn't reveal my green demon friend. It was however a mess. And there was this chap Fred was looking at angrily. "Did he do something to Lorne?" I wanted to know, and then looked up startled when Marilee and Alicia appeared t my side. Or rather, Alicia, Marilee was hiding behind me.
"Whoa!" Alicia exclaimed, her eyes taking in the office and then resting on Fred. "Girl power!"
"Alicia." I gave her a warning look, which she returned meekly. "I thought I told you to stay back." Though, I have to say she was standing fairly close to me. Not all as brave as she tried to be then.
"Sorry," she muttered, sliding further behind me. She took hold of Marilee's hand again while they both looked at the scene fearfully. It *was* a rather awkward scene, I'll have to admit that.
"Fred?" Narrowing my eyes, I looked at this strange person, in Lorne's office threateningly. He'd better not have done something to Lorne. I'm getting quite fed up with this office. It's just not save to take the girls with me, I have to find another way.
“Wes!” I said practically jumping when his soft British voice finally registered. “Oh thank god you’re here Wesley.” I thought about hugging him or grabbing his hand but before I could do either I saw two small girls in his wake.
“Oh,, Wes… you brought children.” I said remembering who they were after a moment. “Hi.” I gave them my best wave and my most sincere not-at-all-panicked smile. They were rather young and I did not want to startle or scare them.
“Regarding this .. bastard.” I lowered my voice a fraction hoping the girls would not hear. “I don’t know who he is or what he did to Lorne but… but I suspect the worst. I think he is coming too consciousness so we will have to make him talk. I think I have a way to make him talk… truth syrum.” I kind of wanted to beat the confession out of him. Not that I really enjoyed beating people but if he had hurt Lorne…
“My theory though is he works for those freaks in Vegas. You know the ones that were holding him hostage before? I have a feeling if they are not orchestrating it they are involved somehow.”
I started to regain consciousness. Reality began to slowly swirl back into focus as I heard voices far off in the distance. They belonged to Fred and Wes, both of which were mere murmurs to me. I couldn't move my limbs, mainly because I was tied to the chair I was forced to sit in. Oddly enough, wasn't the first time that's happened to me. Again, I think I need to talk to Fred about that.
As I started to wake up, the voices became more clear and I could hear Fred calling me a bastard, and saying something about Vegas. Let me tell you, her theories about what happened to me were pretty funny. If I was fully conscious, I think I would be in hysterics. Wait until I tell her Lorne didn't go anywhere, and he's the one she's been slapping around like a red headed step child this entire time.
I opened my eyes and blinked a couple of times, wearily trying to regain my focus. I looked at the both of them, boring down on me with questioning eyes.
"W-wait.." I said groggily, hoping to get her to stop slapping me.
Frowning at Fred's use of language, I quickly glanced at the girls. But they were to busy looking at whatever was happening in the room to notice much else. Marilee was hiding even more behind me, while Alicia tried to sneak into the room now that the fellow was tied to the chair.
"Vegas?" I looked at her puzzled before I remembered something about the lot of them going to Las Vegas sometime last year. Something with Lorne? I can't quite remember and it doesn't really matter.
Stepping into the room, I held onto Marilee's hand and put the other one on Alicia's shoulder since she seemed rather eager to help out Fred. It might be a good thing the girls were here, because Fred looked ready to slap the guy into the next zipcode, as they so aptly put here.
"No waiting!" Alicia said fiercely. I blinked down at her just in time to see her point an accusing finger at Lorne. "Ya better tell them what ya did to the green demony dude. Cuz, Wesley said he was nice and friendly and mean and-and green! And you look mean," she added for after affect, jutting her chin up defiantly.
"No, he doesn't," Marilee said softly from behind me. "He looks kinda afraid." She ducked her head out from behind me, narrowing her eyes at the chap.
"Girls, stay out of this," I told them sternly. I looked at Alicia when I said it and she looked at me sheepish, moving a little closer to me. "Alicia sweetheart, close the door please. I don't think we need more audience here." She nodded, but kept a carefully eye on our prisoner while she went to shut the door.
"And you," I pointed at the fellow in the chair before exchanging a look with Fred. "Had better start talking."
I took a few steps in Fred's direction, pulling Marilee with me. "What is this about your Vegas theory?" I asked in a whisper, leaning a bit closer to her.
"Was it Elvis? It was Elvis wasn't it?" Alicia put in eagerly as she joined us.
I wonder if Wes felt like a Nanny at this very moment. Here he was trying to maintain order and he had not one but three rather excitable children to contend with. I hated feeling this way but Lorne was missing and well.. I was excitable. However I should have remembered that Wes had not been there to witness of the Vegas fiasco which also meant that he did not witness my unfortunate stint as a Lornette. I think I will just gloss over that bit for the time being.
“Oh well see Lorne went to Vegas and was held hostage. Some evil group found a way to steal people’s destinies and Lorne would perform little shows and during the shows he would have random audience members sing. He would read there destinies and than tell his captors who had the better destinies… you know the ones worth stealing.” I stopped for a second and glared at the man. However despite my theory I could not help but doubt myself. Something about the man seemed a bit.. well something was not right.
“I mean that is just one theory.. I am sure there is always a chance he works for you-know-who.” I raised my eyes and looked up to the ceiling hoping he would get I was referring to the Sr. Partners. “I just think though there is a bigger chance he is not in league with anyone at Wolfram and Hart because they tend to have better taste in clothes.” I stopped and looked at Wes for a moment before pointing accusingly at the man in the chair.
“He.. he is wearing Lorne’s clothes… now that is just wrong.”
While Fred was busy rehashing the memories of my gigantic flopapalooza of a Vegas failure, I used the time to attempt to get my head together. I listened as she went on about her theory, as ridiculous as it was, my eyes continuing to regain focus. I looked down at my strangely pink hands, noticing how they seemed to get pinker where the ropes bound them tightly to the chair.
I looked at at Fred as she explained to Wes everything that had happened in Vegas. I didn't really want to hear about the whole ordeal over again, and even though Wesley had not been there, it was still a bit of a sore spot for me. Okay, so I had much bigger and better things going on here at the firm, meeting pretty much every celebrity that I could possibly fathom, but the one thing missing from all this was the limelight. My microphone had been replaced with a cellphone, the stage for an office, and well, maybe i'll save this particular rant for another time when I'm not tied to a chair.
Fred's last comment made me narrow my eyes. "Better taste in clothes?!" I burst out, dually hurt by the comment. Fred knew how meticulous I was about my appearance. Again, when she untied me, she'd definately be getting an earful. "Good God woman, it is me! Who else do you know that can pull off paisley with pinstripes?"
I looked down at myself again, a somewhat disgusted look on my face. "Well, I can, but I'm starting to think this guy can't."
"Whoa," Alicia bounced. "Your friends sure get a lot of excitement." She eyed Fred and then narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure it wasn't Elvis?"
I myself blinked at the whole story. "Alicia." I looked at her sternly again. "Would you please stop interrupting us. Why don't you and Marilee wait over there hmmm?" I pointed at Lorne's show thing with the mirror. I'm sure there's a lot of interesting things there for little girls. It's not as though Lorne is around to see it.
"Kay," she sighed, taking hold of Marilee's hand to walk over. Marilee however didn't want to let go of me.
"It's alright, sweetheart. I'll be here, I just need to talk to Fred here and this...err...chap. I'm sure Lorne won't mind if you play with...that...there." At least I hope now. Well, I doubt he'll find out.
"Awe your swure?" she asked hesitant. I nodded, she hovered for a moment, but then nodded and followed Alicia to the show mirror desk thing. What is that anyway? Right, we had better things at hand now.
I turned back to look down at this fellow. Who was indeed wearing Lorne's clothes. And they looked ridiculous on him. "Wait a minute. Are you trying to make us believe that you're Lorne?. I raised my eyebrow at him and shared another look with Fred.
"Lowne is gween," Marilee said, looking up from smearing some goo on the mirror. I winced a that but then reminded myself that I'd get it cleaned up before we got Lorne back.
"Doh," Alicia rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Like *everyone* know that." She gave the man a look which screamed 'god you're in idiot'.
I nodded at that and turned back to look at this odd man sharply. "They're quite right. Care to explain to us how it is that you're human? While Lorne obviously isn't?" I was almost tempted to get my gun out and force out some answers. But ever since the girls had come into my live, I'd become very careful with such gestures and weapons in general.
Damn being tied to a chair. I had these little rugrats running wild. Oh no, my vanity! They were smearing stuff on my vanity! My hairbrush! My hairgel! My STUFF!
And that wasn't half as scary as Wesley bearing down on me here. I can tell you, this entire scene was getting to be a bit chaotic. Little girls running around, me tied to a chair, my office a disaster area, Fred ready to go amazon on me.. my goodness. It was enough to make my horns pop off. Oh wait, they already did.
"Wesley, you've gotta believe me," I told him, my voice pleading. "I-I can't even begin to explain to you how, or why. I-I mean, th-there was a demon in here, my first client of the day. I shook hands with him, there was slime, and then the nausea hit, the cold sweats, the dizziness, I passed out, conked my melon on my desk --," I was getting exasperated as everything just came out of my mouth at once. "Please, Bro, you gotta help a guy out here. Just untie me first, please."
He didn't move. Obviously not believing me, and obviously not willing to untie someone he didn't trust.
"My voice is the same for cryin' out loud!" I cried. Then it hit me. My voice. Who could sing as fabulously as I could? "Here, I'll even sing for you."
I cleared my throat, and prepared to launch into a long winded note, which I was notorious for being able to hold for minutes on end. I inhaled deeply, and broke out into a loud pitch -- only to start hacking and coughing, completely out of breath.
Damnit. That obviously didn't help my case one bit. I gave both Wesley and Fred a sheepish look, wincing in expectation of being slapped again.
I sighed softly when Lorne was not able to fulfill his threat of a song. Normally I would have been fine with his singing, even pretended to like it, but right now I was in no mood for being polite. Just as I had been honest about his dress I was prepared to be honest about his voice.
“Hey no choking on me Lorne. Please as much as I like your singing I think we can skip it this time.” I said looking at Wes and the girls. “We don’t want to scare the people in the peanut gallery.” I studied the pink man in the chair and realized that in his weird way he kind of looked like Lorne. I should have figured it out sooner, after all why would his attacker wear his clothing? But than again I had not noticed his wardrobe until it was too late.
“Wes I think we should take a trip to see Angel first. I am inclined to believe him but than again we are at Wolfram and Hart and if anyone could come up with a plan this odd someone from Wolfram and Hart could.” I looked between Lorne and Wes and the girls. This was just a bad joke in the making. Something like a scientist, a Brit, and a lounge singer walk into a bar… “Maybe Angel will be able to tell for certain if this is Lorne or not.”
"Isn't and no," I said quickly. I looked over to them and winced. Good lord, if this really was Lorne, I was going to be in trouble. And it may be selfish to stay this now, but at least he had other trouble then his vanity mirror or whatever that all was.
I still wasn't convinced this was Lorne though. Yes, he was wearing that dreadful outfit. And yes, he did talk like Lorne. But how many shape shifting demons where there? I've lost count actually. And this...human, may as well be one of those shape shifting demons. As to why anyone would want to pose as Lorne while being a human? I've no bloody clue, other then to function as a distraction. Which as a distraction plan? Was working pretty well.
"I liwke your suit," Marilee said quietly. Tilting her head, she smiled at the strange fellow.
She'd come closer while Alicia was painting a face on the mirror with something red. Lipstick? Why would Lorne want.. Alright, I don't want to know. Especially it that's Alicia's. I'll ask about that later. She's far to young to be carrying that around. Why do I have a feeling I'm going to have a very serious talk with Cordelia soon.
"Marilee, don't get to close." Taking her hand, I took a step back and pulled her along with me. Automatically, I hoisted her up in my arms while I looked thoughtfully at 'Lorne'. Then I turned back toward Fred again while Marilee put her head on my shoulder and kept looking at this fellow, and smiling.
"How will Angel be certain about that?" I wondered. "Oh, do you think he can perhaps...errr...smell it?" He was a vampire after all.
"Ewwww!" Alicia said, she turned toward us and wrinkled her nose. "Gross much? Mister Angel is not only gay but he's like a snifferdog too? So not." She rolled her eyes and picked up one of Lorne's hairbrushes, looking at it thoughtfully.
"Err, no. I'll explain that all to you later." Much, much later. Though, eventually I was going to have to explain those things to the girls. "I suppose we should call Angel then."
"Yes!" I exclaimed from my chair. "Call Angelcakes, he'll know what to do. I think. Well, as long as he doesn't hit me like Freddles over here. I've been beat up enough today, thanks."
I squirmed in my chair, trying to wrest myself free from these knots. I wasn't making much progress though. I looked up at Wesley with big pleading eyes. "Can you at least untie me?" I asked him. "These ropes are starting to chafe my hands and.. well, I kinda gotta go to the bathroom."
I looked over at Fred. "C'mon Freddikins, you know it's me," I said to her. "I'm not some science experiment sent here by the Sr. Partners. This is all just a freak accident which happened because I shook hands with a Plingu Demon. Honstly."
I went to untie him but than stopped. I did not know what made me more uncomfortable, untying a potential evil sent from the Sr. Partners to destroy us.. or Lorne loose in a room with small children. Actually the small children where starting to scare me a little.
"Umm sure thing Lorne. Hey how about Wesley take his fan club and go find Angel first." I said looking at him. "I will stay here and keep Lorne company. I think it will be safer if we have less unpredictable elements." I said referring to the girls. I was certain Lorne was safe but Wes was not so I was hoping he would not argue with me. Sure I was happy to see Wes but I was never much for children. At least not in an evil law firm known for child sacrifice.
Frowning, I stared at Fred and mentally made a note not to ever ask her to look after the girls when needed. From the corner of my eyes I saw Alicia looking at Fred as well, her mouth already open to make a very snide remark no doubt.
I shot her a sharp look and she clamped it shut right way. Not that she looked happy about it though. Hoisting Marilee in my arms, I narrowed my eyes at Fred and then turned to look at...uhm...Lorne. And how odd is it to see Lorne, if this is indeed Lorne, in human form.
Very odd. About as odd as suddenly finding oneself taking care of two small children. But at least I was almost certain this was Lorne.
"Well, if you promise not to slap the poor fellow around again, we'll go get Angel. Alicia?" I held out my hand and she took it, frowning at Fred and then looking at Lorne again.
"You normally green?" she asked, probably thinking I'd lied to her about Lorne being a green demon. "It does look like your color," she admitted grudgingly. "Sorry 'bout the mirror and...uhm...stuf. But! Marilee is still a baby." She nodded at that, obviously very smug about the fact that she had effectively shifted the blame.
"Quite," I said amused. "Why don't I go and ask if Jennifer is willing to take your two to the park and then I'll go find Angel." Nodding at Fred, I turned around and leaned in when I passed Lorne. "Good luck," I whispered, and then walked out the room.
Right, Jennifer first... Oh, or even better. Cordelia, she's probably at Angel's. I can get two flies with one blow, as they say.
I was tempted to ask Jennifer, but it wasn't really her job. And it would appear she didn't have time. Which was when I thought of Lorne. He seemed like the fellow to be good with the girl, I trusted him and...hopefully he had time. Since the girls had been rescued by the Slayers and seen demons, it wasn't hard to explain. A little tricky, but I think I've convinced them that Lorne was a good guy.
Not to mention he'd convince them of that himself with his...well, he does have a warm and very taking personality. The girl will like him. Let's hope its the other way around as well.
Alicia was trailing behind me, playing on that damn game boy, while Marilee clutched my hand and held her Boo with the other as we made our way over to Lorne's office. Which was when I heard Fred's voice shouting something. She sounded angry and worried at the same time. Worried, I glanced over at Alicia, who'd also heard it and then at Marilee.
"Stay here for a bit girls, I'll be right back." I waited until Alicia was holding Marilee's hand and then smile when two pairs of bit, frightened eyes looked up at me. Then I walked over to Lorne's office and peered inside. There was Fred, and some chap she was slapping around. Quite literally.
"Fred? What's going on? Where's Lorne?"
A quick glance around the office didn't reveal my green demon friend. It was however a mess. And there was this chap Fred was looking at angrily. "Did he do something to Lorne?" I wanted to know, and then looked up startled when Marilee and Alicia appeared t my side. Or rather, Alicia, Marilee was hiding behind me.
"Whoa!" Alicia exclaimed, her eyes taking in the office and then resting on Fred. "Girl power!"
"Alicia." I gave her a warning look, which she returned meekly. "I thought I told you to stay back." Though, I have to say she was standing fairly close to me. Not all as brave as she tried to be then.
"Sorry," she muttered, sliding further behind me. She took hold of Marilee's hand again while they both looked at the scene fearfully. It *was* a rather awkward scene, I'll have to admit that.
"Fred?" Narrowing my eyes, I looked at this strange person, in Lorne's office threateningly. He'd better not have done something to Lorne. I'm getting quite fed up with this office. It's just not save to take the girls with me, I have to find another way.
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“Oh,, Wes… you brought children.” I said remembering who they were after a moment. “Hi.” I gave them my best wave and my most sincere not-at-all-panicked smile. They were rather young and I did not want to startle or scare them.
“Regarding this .. bastard.” I lowered my voice a fraction hoping the girls would not hear. “I don’t know who he is or what he did to Lorne but… but I suspect the worst. I think he is coming too consciousness so we will have to make him talk. I think I have a way to make him talk… truth syrum.” I kind of wanted to beat the confession out of him. Not that I really enjoyed beating people but if he had hurt Lorne…
“My theory though is he works for those freaks in Vegas. You know the ones that were holding him hostage before? I have a feeling if they are not orchestrating it they are involved somehow.”
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As I started to wake up, the voices became more clear and I could hear Fred calling me a bastard, and saying something about Vegas. Let me tell you, her theories about what happened to me were pretty funny. If I was fully conscious, I think I would be in hysterics. Wait until I tell her Lorne didn't go anywhere, and he's the one she's been slapping around like a red headed step child this entire time.
I opened my eyes and blinked a couple of times, wearily trying to regain my focus. I looked at the both of them, boring down on me with questioning eyes.
"W-wait.." I said groggily, hoping to get her to stop slapping me.
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"Vegas?" I looked at her puzzled before I remembered something about the lot of them going to Las Vegas sometime last year. Something with Lorne? I can't quite remember and it doesn't really matter.
Stepping into the room, I held onto Marilee's hand and put the other one on Alicia's shoulder since she seemed rather eager to help out Fred. It might be a good thing the girls were here, because Fred looked ready to slap the guy into the next zipcode, as they so aptly put here.
"No waiting!" Alicia said fiercely. I blinked down at her just in time to see her point an accusing finger at Lorne. "Ya better tell them what ya did to the green demony dude. Cuz, Wesley said he was nice and friendly and mean and-and green! And you look mean," she added for after affect, jutting her chin up defiantly.
"No, he doesn't," Marilee said softly from behind me. "He looks kinda afraid." She ducked her head out from behind me, narrowing her eyes at the chap.
"Girls, stay out of this," I told them sternly. I looked at Alicia when I said it and she looked at me sheepish, moving a little closer to me. "Alicia sweetheart, close the door please. I don't think we need more audience here." She nodded, but kept a carefully eye on our prisoner while she went to shut the door.
"And you," I pointed at the fellow in the chair before exchanging a look with Fred. "Had better start talking."
I took a few steps in Fred's direction, pulling Marilee with me. "What is this about your Vegas theory?" I asked in a whisper, leaning a bit closer to her.
"Was it Elvis? It was Elvis wasn't it?" Alicia put in eagerly as she joined us.
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I wonder if Wes felt like a Nanny at this very moment. Here he was trying to maintain order and he had not one but three rather excitable children to contend with. I hated feeling this way but Lorne was missing and well.. I was excitable. However I should have remembered that Wes had not been there to witness of the Vegas fiasco which also meant that he did not witness my unfortunate stint as a Lornette. I think I will just gloss over that bit for the time being.
“Oh well see Lorne went to Vegas and was held hostage. Some evil group found a way to steal people’s destinies and Lorne would perform little shows and during the shows he would have random audience members sing. He would read there destinies and than tell his captors who had the better destinies… you know the ones worth stealing.” I stopped for a second and glared at the man. However despite my theory I could not help but doubt myself. Something about the man seemed a bit.. well something was not right.
“I mean that is just one theory.. I am sure there is always a chance he works for you-know-who.” I raised my eyes and looked up to the ceiling hoping he would get I was referring to the Sr. Partners. “I just think though there is a bigger chance he is not in league with anyone at Wolfram and Hart because they tend to have better taste in clothes.” I stopped and looked at Wes for a moment before pointing accusingly at the man in the chair.
“He.. he is wearing Lorne’s clothes… now that is just wrong.”
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I looked at at Fred as she explained to Wes everything that had happened in Vegas. I didn't really want to hear about the whole ordeal over again, and even though Wesley had not been there, it was still a bit of a sore spot for me. Okay, so I had much bigger and better things going on here at the firm, meeting pretty much every celebrity that I could possibly fathom, but the one thing missing from all this was the limelight. My microphone had been replaced with a cellphone, the stage for an office, and well, maybe i'll save this particular rant for another time when I'm not tied to a chair.
Fred's last comment made me narrow my eyes. "Better taste in clothes?!" I burst out, dually hurt by the comment. Fred knew how meticulous I was about my appearance. Again, when she untied me, she'd definately be getting an earful. "Good God woman, it is me! Who else do you know that can pull off paisley with pinstripes?"
I looked down at myself again, a somewhat disgusted look on my face. "Well, I can, but I'm starting to think this guy can't."
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I myself blinked at the whole story. "Alicia." I looked at her sternly again. "Would you please stop interrupting us. Why don't you and Marilee wait over there hmmm?" I pointed at Lorne's show thing with the mirror. I'm sure there's a lot of interesting things there for little girls. It's not as though Lorne is around to see it.
"Kay," she sighed, taking hold of Marilee's hand to walk over. Marilee however didn't want to let go of me.
"It's alright, sweetheart. I'll be here, I just need to talk to Fred here and this...err...chap. I'm sure Lorne won't mind if you play with...that...there." At least I hope now. Well, I doubt he'll find out.
"Awe your swure?" she asked hesitant. I nodded, she hovered for a moment, but then nodded and followed Alicia to the show mirror desk thing. What is that anyway? Right, we had better things at hand now.
I turned back to look down at this fellow. Who was indeed wearing Lorne's clothes. And they looked ridiculous on him. "Wait a minute. Are you trying to make us believe that you're Lorne?. I raised my eyebrow at him and shared another look with Fred.
"Lowne is gween," Marilee said, looking up from smearing some goo on the mirror. I winced a that but then reminded myself that I'd get it cleaned up before we got Lorne back.
"Doh," Alicia rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Like *everyone* know that." She gave the man a look which screamed 'god you're in idiot'.
I nodded at that and turned back to look at this odd man sharply. "They're quite right. Care to explain to us how it is that you're human? While Lorne obviously isn't?" I was almost tempted to get my gun out and force out some answers. But ever since the girls had come into my live, I'd become very careful with such gestures and weapons in general.
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And that wasn't half as scary as Wesley bearing down on me here. I can tell you, this entire scene was getting to be a bit chaotic. Little girls running around, me tied to a chair, my office a disaster area, Fred ready to go amazon on me.. my goodness. It was enough to make my horns pop off. Oh wait, they already did.
"Wesley, you've gotta believe me," I told him, my voice pleading. "I-I can't even begin to explain to you how, or why. I-I mean, th-there was a demon in here, my first client of the day. I shook hands with him, there was slime, and then the nausea hit, the cold sweats, the dizziness, I passed out, conked my melon on my desk --," I was getting exasperated as everything just came out of my mouth at once. "Please, Bro, you gotta help a guy out here. Just untie me first, please."
He didn't move. Obviously not believing me, and obviously not willing to untie someone he didn't trust.
"My voice is the same for cryin' out loud!" I cried. Then it hit me. My voice. Who could sing as fabulously as I could? "Here, I'll even sing for you."
I cleared my throat, and prepared to launch into a long winded note, which I was notorious for being able to hold for minutes on end. I inhaled deeply, and broke out into a loud pitch -- only to start hacking and coughing, completely out of breath.
Damnit. That obviously didn't help my case one bit. I gave both Wesley and Fred a sheepish look, wincing in expectation of being slapped again.
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“Hey no choking on me Lorne. Please as much as I like your singing I think we can skip it this time.” I said looking at Wes and the girls. “We don’t want to scare the people in the peanut gallery.” I studied the pink man in the chair and realized that in his weird way he kind of looked like Lorne. I should have figured it out sooner, after all why would his attacker wear his clothing? But than again I had not noticed his wardrobe until it was too late.
“Wes I think we should take a trip to see Angel first. I am inclined to believe him but than again we are at Wolfram and Hart and if anyone could come up with a plan this odd someone from Wolfram and Hart could.” I looked between Lorne and Wes and the girls. This was just a bad joke in the making. Something like a scientist, a Brit, and a lounge singer walk into a bar… “Maybe Angel will be able to tell for certain if this is Lorne or not.”
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"Isn't and no," I said quickly. I looked over to them and winced. Good lord, if this really was Lorne, I was going to be in trouble. And it may be selfish to stay this now, but at least he had other trouble then his vanity mirror or whatever that all was.
I still wasn't convinced this was Lorne though. Yes, he was wearing that dreadful outfit. And yes, he did talk like Lorne. But how many shape shifting demons where there? I've lost count actually. And this...human, may as well be one of those shape shifting demons. As to why anyone would want to pose as Lorne while being a human? I've no bloody clue, other then to function as a distraction. Which as a distraction plan? Was working pretty well.
"I liwke your suit," Marilee said quietly. Tilting her head, she smiled at the strange fellow.
She'd come closer while Alicia was painting a face on the mirror with something red. Lipstick? Why would Lorne want.. Alright, I don't want to know. Especially it that's Alicia's. I'll ask about that later. She's far to young to be carrying that around. Why do I have a feeling I'm going to have a very serious talk with Cordelia soon.
"Marilee, don't get to close." Taking her hand, I took a step back and pulled her along with me. Automatically, I hoisted her up in my arms while I looked thoughtfully at 'Lorne'. Then I turned back toward Fred again while Marilee put her head on my shoulder and kept looking at this fellow, and smiling.
"How will Angel be certain about that?" I wondered. "Oh, do you think he can perhaps...errr...smell it?" He was a vampire after all.
"Ewwww!" Alicia said, she turned toward us and wrinkled her nose. "Gross much? Mister Angel is not only gay but he's like a snifferdog too? So not." She rolled her eyes and picked up one of Lorne's hairbrushes, looking at it thoughtfully.
"Err, no. I'll explain that all to you later." Much, much later. Though, eventually I was going to have to explain those things to the girls. "I suppose we should call Angel then."
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I squirmed in my chair, trying to wrest myself free from these knots. I wasn't making much progress though. I looked up at Wesley with big pleading eyes. "Can you at least untie me?" I asked him. "These ropes are starting to chafe my hands and.. well, I kinda gotta go to the bathroom."
I looked over at Fred. "C'mon Freddikins, you know it's me," I said to her. "I'm not some science experiment sent here by the Sr. Partners. This is all just a freak accident which happened because I shook hands with a Plingu Demon. Honstly."
I continued to squirm.
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"Umm sure thing Lorne. Hey how about Wesley take his fan club and go find Angel first." I said looking at him. "I will stay here and keep Lorne company. I think it will be safer if we have less unpredictable elements." I said referring to the girls. I was certain Lorne was safe but Wes was not so I was hoping he would not argue with me. Sure I was happy to see Wes but I was never much for children. At least not in an evil law firm known for child sacrifice.
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I shot her a sharp look and she clamped it shut right way. Not that she looked happy about it though. Hoisting Marilee in my arms, I narrowed my eyes at Fred and then turned to look at...uhm...Lorne. And how odd is it to see Lorne, if this is indeed Lorne, in human form.
Very odd. About as odd as suddenly finding oneself taking care of two small children. But at least I was almost certain this was Lorne.
"Well, if you promise not to slap the poor fellow around again, we'll go get Angel. Alicia?" I held out my hand and she took it, frowning at Fred and then looking at Lorne again.
"You normally green?" she asked, probably thinking I'd lied to her about Lorne being a green demon. "It does look like your color," she admitted grudgingly. "Sorry 'bout the mirror and...uhm...stuf. But! Marilee is still a baby." She nodded at that, obviously very smug about the fact that she had effectively shifted the blame.
"Quite," I said amused. "Why don't I go and ask if Jennifer is willing to take your two to the park and then I'll go find Angel." Nodding at Fred, I turned around and leaned in when I passed Lorne. "Good luck," I whispered, and then walked out the room.
Right, Jennifer first... Oh, or even better. Cordelia, she's probably at Angel's. I can get two flies with one blow, as they say.
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