Oliver's Journal
The bastard who invented leather pants is going to DIE. The arsehole who invented leather pants without a warning label to blokes with a little bit more... padding than average is going to DIE. The first woman who decided their man was sexy in leather is going to DIE...
That is, they would, if I could walk far enough to actually do anything.
Fuck, I'm doomed. I hope I don't faint from lack of circulation.
First person to laugh, gets their knackers hexed up their arse.