Rain Kisses
Title: Rain Kisses
Summary: They both found each other at a time when they both needed it.
Pairing: YunJae
Genre: Smut, Angst, Romance
Rating: NC17
Length: Oneshot
--
The sky was downcast. Clouds blanketed the school grounds. It was a quiet and shady afternoon, unlikely for a day in the middle of spring. On the rooftop, Jaejoong stared blankly at the sky. Lying down with one hand behind his head, he wondered if it was going to rain later in the day. He was about to close his eyes when the school bell started to ring. The four-note tune resounded along the corridors and open grounds, it was only faintly heard in the rooftop but it was enough to make Jaejoong groan in annoyance. It was class time again.
He entered the classroom, with everyone else already inside; eyes followed him as he made his way to his seat. He didn’t mind; they always did stare. He sat by the window; he loved staring outside during class. It was, perhaps, because it made him feel less like he was in prison. He couldn’t wait to finish this year, his senior year.*
With his cheek settled on his hand, he watched as their instructor wrote down the date, a usual habit he did to remind the students of deadlines.
April 23rd
Was it that day already?
Jaejoong’s eyes drifted to the figure in front. In the farthest side of the first row, Jung Yunho was diligently taking notes, his eyebrows curved and his lips pressed together.
Jaejoong wondered if Yunho realized it, or if he actually cared. It has been exactly a year. Faint tapping on the window distracted Jaejoong’s thoughts, he looked out. Raindrops. It was already raining; it had rained that day too, that day exactly one year ago.
April 23rd was the first time in five years that he and Yunho found themselves in each other’s presence again. Jaejoong was sitting in the corner of his room. He stared at the blank wall in front of him. The man he had known as his father had just beaten him…again. At times like these he just wanted to run away, to disappear. The hard pitter-pattering of raindrops from his window distracted him. He stood up and looked out, the sky was dark and rain was falling hard.
He didn’t fail to notice the figure standing on the rooftop beside their house’s. Yunho. It was his habit to clear his thoughts there; Jaejoong knew because he had seen him more than enough times. Something heavy must be disturbing his thoughts right now; the golden child, Yunho, would never risk his health by being under the rain just to think.
Yunho noticed Jaejoong’s eyes on him, they both looked at each other and Jaejoong bit his lips. Their interactions have never gone farther than that. On the nights or late afternoons they caught each other staring, they simply looked away, and both pretended nothing ever happened.
They had been neighbors for almost all their lives. Back when they were younger they were friends, best friends even. Jaejoong faintly remembered them playing around in the Jungs’ lawn. Yunho would chase him around and tell everyone he was his girlfriend; he refused to believe the other was a boy and Jaejoong would only blush. During their elementary years, they were always seatmates, by this time Yunho had stopped thinking of him as a girl, or his girlfriend for that matter, but he was always overly protective.
But then, Choi Dong Hagwon** happened. It was one of the most prestigious schools in Korea. The academy only takes in a number of students, schooling them from their first year of junior high to their high school graduation. They were known for producing brilliant college applicants, excelling in different aspects whether it was academic, athletic or artistic.
Both of them had been qualified for it. Yunho was expected, no, driven to enter; Jaejoong was accepted as a surprise. Yunho was granted part of a special A section, because he had exceled in the entrance exam; Jaejoong barely passed but was accepted for his great talent in music. People from the A class never talked to anyone else but themselves. It was an unwritten rule. The two of them never spoke in school. They either exchanged glances or small smiles. That's when they started to drift apart.
Jaejoong never blamed Yunho, he knew Yunho tried and he knew just how vital it was for him to have good footing with the other A students. These were his future colleagues, his future business partners or whatnot.
The year of their acceptance was also the year news broke out that Jaejoong was a bastard child. He was a fruit of his mother’s affair with another man whom he didn’t even get to know. Being in a rich family, it was a scandal, a huge scandal. Things changed from then. He was withdrawn form being one of the heirs to their family business. His father’s treatment towards him changed. The way people looked at him changed. And the Jungs had cut off any small interaction their son had with Jaejoong. No more meeting in the weekends. No more study sessions together.
Jaejoong took a deep breath. Something was different in the way Yunho looked at him in that moment, and perhaps, there was something different in the way he looked back at Yunho too. Without thinking, he raised the cover of his window. He shivered with the cold water that immediately pricked his skin. He stood up his own rooftop, almost losing his balance with the unexpected slipperiness. With the short gap between their roofs, it wasn’t difficult for him to cross over.
Jaejoong could barely breathe when he came fact to face with Yunho. He didn’t know if it was because of the cold prickles of rain against his skin, or if it was from being in such a close proximity with Yunho, or if it was from the emotions looming over him from earlier. He didn’t know what to do or say. A part of him just wanted to run back to his room. And he was just about to, but Yunho took his hand, urging him to sit. As Jaejoong sat beside him, by the window, he realized why Yunho had been out. It was faded, but Jaejoong could hear Yunho’s parents shouting from the inside.
The two of them just stayed there, watching the raindrops bounce off the ledges. Their silence was neither comfortable nor awkward. They were just glad to not be alone.
"I told my parents I refuse to go to the US to study. Now, they're at each other's throats, fighting over which of them gets the blame for turning me into a rebel child. It's stupid.” Yunho shook his head and half laughed.
Silence enveloped them again.
Jaejoong felt a finger play with his, he looked down on it, and then looked at Yunho. He was staring with eyes Jaejoong has never seen before.
Yunho turned to him. "Jaejoongie," it was almost a whisper. Jaejoong closed his eyes. When was the last time he heard that? Yunho's voice had even changed. The sound of his name was so deep, so different, so unfamiliar, but he liked it just as much.
The next thing Yunho did caught him by surprise. His childhood friend rolled over him and seized his lips. Jaejoong could taste water against his lips. Their kiss was unsure at first, with both of them shivering against one another. But when their bodies started to warm each other, Yunho leaned in closer, hugging him tighter, turning their kiss deeper. Their tongues meld together in a slow dance. It was their first together and maybe the best compared to all the others in the past.
A part of Jaejoong broke. He didn't know whether he was crying or not. He couldn't distinguish the raindrops from his tears.
He hadn't felt such comfort before, he needed it, he needed someone, and that someone was Yunho.
It took a while before Yunho realized what the two of them were doing, when he did, he immediately cut their actions. He looked at Jaejoong with panicked eyes, searching for any sign of regret or disgust in Jaejoong’s. "I-I'm sorry. I didn’t mean to," he said as he pulled away.
Jaejoong only shook his head, "No, kiss me again."
And so Yunho did.
Neither of them ever spoke of it, but two nights after the incident, when his father had hurt him again, Jaejoong found himself sneaking into Yunho's room, tucking himself under the covers of the other boy.
Almost in deep sleep, Yunho was surprised to feel Jaejoong's cold figure against his naked chest, but he did nothing to oppose. Yunho merely kissed his forehead and held him to sleep. He knew Jaejoong had been crying.
It started off like that, wordless nights of simply holding on to each other, of simply having each other present to ease their troubles. Neither could remember how long it took before they finally started talking.
Yunho was kissing Jaejoong's palm, his lips travelling along the red marks around his wrists. "What does he do to you?” he asked, looking at Jaejoong's eyes intently. It was the first time they ever talked about what has been happening to either of them.
Jaejoong grew silent for a while, but Yunho kissed his lips and he knew he was bound to tell. He chewed on his cheek before he started talking, “When he's drunk, he becomes very obscure. Ever since he learned that I was not his child, he had always been displeased towards me. And when mom died, there was no one who controlled him anymore. He beats me. When he’s stressed or angry about something, he takes it out on me.”
“Jaejoong, you don’t know how much I want to hurt him every time I see bruises on your body,” Yunho said with a shaky voice. Jaejoong buried his face into the curve of Yunho’s neck. He shook his head. “No. Just stay with me, that would be fine.”
--
Jaejoong stared at the group of students on the benches as he fiddled around with the lock of his locker. Yunho was standing with his hands inside his pockets, smiling charmingly at his friends. Among other A students, there was also Go Ara, the prettiest girl in school, Park Leeteuk, president of the student council, and Shim Changmin, Yunho’s only academic rival.
The A students usually acted like there was nothing wrong with their lives, that everything in their life was easily going through as planned. It came with a sense of arrogance they held. They were better than everyone else, that’s what how the school viewed them, that’s how other students viewed them, that’s how some of them viewed themselves.
Sometimes Jaejoong couldn’t help but hold a certain animosity towards Yunho. He disliked how he pretended to be someone he wasn't in front of everyone else. He did not like feeling denied either.
Jaejoong almost jumped in place as he felt arms wrap around him from the back, warm breath blew his ear and he turned back only to smack the culprit.
“Yoochun! How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?!”
The other simply ignored him. "Want to go to Junsu’s later? His parents are out and it's Friday." Yoochun was his best friend, he knew everything about him, they were soulmates, but he was not Yunho. Yoochun did not bring the same kind of comfort he did.
“No, I can’t go, I’ll be at Yunho’s tonight,” he wanted to say, but it was a secret neither he nor Yunho could tell. “I’ll pass,” he simply replied.
“Fine. Suit yourself,” Yoochun said with a shrug as the two of them walked out the school.
Jaejoong took one last glance at the group of A students. He wondered if Yunho would be home.
--
The rain grew stronger that day and Jaejoong found himself on Yunho’s bed that night. Pinned against the covers, his wet shirt had already been discarded and his fingers were working their way into taking off Yunho’s. The pattering of the raindrops mixed with the soft noises the two of them made. They kissed languidly, not rushing anything since they knew they had the whole night. Yunho roamed his body lightly. His hands ghosted along his arms, the curve of his back, inside of his thighs. He had always been gentle to him. Any cruelty Jaejoong’s father did, Yunho wanted to erase. He didn’t want to give Jaejoong any reminders of roughness or force.
A year has passed since that day, there were many things that happened. Jaejoong's father was not completely a bad man; he had undergone therapy. They were still hostile towards each other, but the beatings have stopped. Nevertheless, Jaejoong still found himself, on most nights, in Yunho's room. He would sleep in, or often, they'd have sex.
Yunho bit down on the underside of Jaejoong’s ear, it was one of the few ungentle things Yunho permitted himself to do, especially when he couldn’t contain himself.
Recently, the other had become extremely irresistible. There were days when he found himself thinking of Jaejoong instead of focusing on his schoolwork. His lips, his smooth skin, his moans, just the feel of him, it was all too distracting sometimes.
And that Park Yoochun had made him feel even more possessive.
“Jaejoong, I saw you with that Park kid again.”
Jaejoong held the side of Yunho’s face and looked at him with a small smile. One, because he was glad Yunho had noticed him, and two, because he had always been somewhat amused by the unnecessary jealousy he felt towards his best friend. “How many times do I have to tell you that Yoochun is my bestfriend?”
“The next time I see him wrapping his arms around you, I might just tear him off you myself.”
The amused expression on Jaejoong’s face suddenly disappeared. He looked down and bit his lip. “You wouldn’t do that.”
“Of course I would, if he gets on my nerves.”
“You wouldn’t. Not in front of Leeteuk or Changmin or Ara…” Jaejoong looked at him uneasily. Yunho got off him and sat up with his mood suddenly ruined.
“Why do you have to bring that up Jae?” He stood up and ran his hands across his hair.
Jaejoong also sat up and faced Yunho, with a little bit of annoyance, but more of helplessness growing in him. “But it’s true isn’t it? You wouldn’t do it. You can never do it.” It was something Jaejoong had always been insecure about. As much as he wanted to ignore it, the feelings just keep filling him. Especially today.
He had been thinking about it the whole day.
“Jaejoo-“
"What are we Yunho? Because outside this room, we're strangers." Jaejoong was not sure where all this was coming from, but he doesn't stop. "We don't talk. You don't even look at me." Yunho looked away; Jaejoong only continued, “I know you have your priorities, I know you have to be a lawyer, I know you’re an A class student, I know you can't afford to be gay, I know how your friends are, I know what your parents expect of you. I know what everyone is pressuring you to do. I know because I was with you when you couldn’t handle these things, I am still with you now, as you continue to handle them.”
Jaejoong stood up and coaxed Yunho’s chin for the other to look at him, “I know. I know you, and I don’t expect anything. I don’t want to add to whatever everyone else is expecting of you, but you have to tell me where I stand, Yunho. Because sometimes I can’t take it. I can’t take not knowing. You have to tell me, because I need to know what to do when you’re not here. I need to know what to do with myself without you,” he said with pleading eyes.
Yunho did nothing but hug him, “It’s been a year, Yunho. It’s been exactly one year since we met again on your rooftop,” Jaejoong said in a muffled voice. He remembered the feeling of losing Yunho, he did not want to undergo it again, especially now when his feelings have grown.
Yunho’s heart clenched, has it been that long? And now, was Jaejoong thinking he was only doing this because he seeks comfort? It was the last thing Yunho wanted Jaejoong to misunderstand. There was more to what they had now compared to what they had last year. They were not just two boys wanting to find comfort anymore. They weren’t just two boys looking for someone, anyone to hold and calm them anymore. Maybe he couldn't let go of who he was set out to be, but he didn't want Jaejoong to think he would just leave him in a snap.
Although, he understood why Jaejoong could misunderstand; he had been selfish, leaving Jaejoong behind when he was too afraid to let go of his obligations and responsibilities. He lifted Jaejoong’s head and kissed him. He himself was not sure of what he was going to say. But he said it anyway, "I love you, okay? And I don't know what that makes me, or us, but I do love you, Jae." It was the first time either of them had said it.
“Show me,” Jaejoong said in a breath. Yunho pulled him up and he wrapped his legs around his waist. They kissed as Yunho brought them down on the bed again. He gently flooded Jaejoong’s neck with light kisses before he pushed him further up the bed.
Jaejoong grabbed hold of Yunho’s hair as he went lower and lower, down his collarbones, in between his chest, down his stomach. They have done this so many times before but the feeling never fails to overwhelm Jaejoong. Yunho’s tongue trailed up Jaejoong’s body as his hand teased the bulge beneath his pants. A moan escaped the smaller boy's lips, but was interrupted and sealed by Yunho’s own.
“Jae,” he started as his hand gently slipped inside Jaejoong’s pants, “I’m glad I have you again.”
“You never lost me.” Their lips meet again and Yunho’s hand moves against his arousal, Jaejoong pulled it away and instead rubbed their erections against each other’s. Yunho moaned and just like that, they were both lost in each other.
Yunho struggled to remove Jaejoong’s pants, and once he accomplished taking it off, he worked on his own. Impatience was growing for the both of them as their need for each other increased. Jaejoong complained with a mewl, as Yunho grabbed some lube. “Be patient Jae,” he whispered before he lathered some in his fingers. He moved in between Jaejoong’s legs and kissed the inside of his thighs before he slipped a finger in. He watched for Jaejoong’s reaction, doing his best not hurt him. He looked at the other and slipped his finger slowly. He was keen on putting Jaejoong’s comfort before his own need. When he saw that familiar expression of pain in Jaejoong’s face. He moved up and planted his lips on Jaejoong’s, trying to sooth the initial pain. Jaejoong had always been delicate, no matter how many times they’ve done it.
When he felt Jaejoong’s breathing stable, he added another finger, slowly moving at first and eventually stretching him. Jaejoong's hand found its way to Yunho's cock and stroked it gently, in time with his fingers. Heat welled up Yunho’s center and Jaejoong could hardly breathe.
“Please…now.” Jaejoong whimpered and Yunho understood and complied. He pushed his cock through Jaejoong’s entrance and he felt the latter’s nails scratch his back. Just like with his fingers, Yunho waited for Jaejoong to be stable before he moved. With the number of times they’ve shared intimacy, Yunho had memorized when Jaejoong’s body was ready. When he felt it was, he moved in small gentle thrusts. Jaejoong cried out and later the need to feel Yunho closer to him became insatiable. He pulled him closer and pleaded him to go faster.
Jaejoong closed his eyes; with pleasure welling up, he did his best to hold on a little longer. He wanted it to last forever.
--
Jaejoong found himself fiddling with his lock again, and again, Yunho was with his friends, smiling at something he would probably never get to relate to. He felt bitterness creep inside him. Yunho had just told him he loved him last night, yet nothing changed. He was ignored again, he was still not part of Yunho's world. Maybe it was too much to ask of him. He found himself doubting Yunho's words.
He sighed, feeling defeated. He turned to his locker and closed his eyes. He tried to calm himself and his pounding chest. Arms wrapped around his waist. "Yoochu-" he turned to reprimand who he thought was his best friend, but instead, he froze. Familiar eyes stared back at him.
"Yoochun? I am really getting jealous of that man, Jae"
Jaejoong bit his lips before he spoke. "Yunho," he said faintly. Yunho pulled him closer and ducked his head to catch his lips. Suddenly things were going fast. He didn't know what was happening. So many thoughts and questions entered his head. What? How? What was happening? Is this real? Jaejoong couldn't catch up.
"Isn't this what you wanted?"
"Yunho, what are you doing?" Jaejoong was still in shock. He looked around, everyone's eyes were on them. Yoochun's, the A students', the regular students'.
"This, is how much I love you" Yunho said before he lowered his head again to take him. So many things rambled in his mind still, what would happen to him? What would happen to Yunho? What would the A students think? Would the professors know of this? What would Yunho's parents think? What would his father think?
"Shh...don't think" Yunho whispered, as if reading his thoughts, in between the touching of their lips. He coaxed Jaejoong into responding to him. With Yunho's arms securely around his waist, Jaejoong finally couldn't resist it anymore. He felt safe with him, he did not need to hold back. He pulled down on Yunho's neck and finally kissed him back. Show me, Jaejoong remembered what he said last night, this was Yunho proving his love. At that moment nothing else mattered, they had each other, and maybe, nothing else in the future would matter either.
He smiled against Yunho's lips. He was Yunho's and Yunho was his, they had everyone in the school corridors as witness.
---
*I used Korea's grading system for the fic, which means they have 3 years of Jr. High, and 3 years oh High School. Jr high starts at ages 12-13 and high school ends at the age of 18-19.
**Hagwon (Korean) = Academy
A/N: I didn't really plan on this, I just started writing. Haha
I hope you guys enjoyed it and I am very sorry for the fail!smut.
I just thought I'd write a oneshote before I update. :)