Tail Wing
Title: Tail Wing
Summary: After the lawsuit, one would expect that there would be a strain in my and Yunho's relationship, but contrary to that, it made us stronger.
Pairing: YunJae
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: PG13
Length: Drabble
----
Have you ever had that sensation of kissing someone, who’s so near you, yet it felt like he’s miles away?
I had felt that, a lot of times…all the time, when I kissed Yunho back in late 2008.
Those were the times when Junsu, Yoochun, I…and even Changmin had felt like we were going over the edge with SM Entertainment. Those the times when Yunho and I would spend evenings quarreling over shit I don’t even remember. Those were the times when we’d spend days not talking to each other.
It was the darkest point in our relationship.
He thought I was being selfish. I accused him of being a coward.
He wanted me to stay. I urged him to move on.
Neither of us was right nor wrong, we simply had different wants, different views on life.
I could not, and I will never blame Yunho for what had happened to Dong Bang Shin Ki and I am working on forgiving myself for what had happened.
…but there are simply moments when I couldn’t help but think of what could haves and what ifs.
The lawsuit had changed us and our relationship with each other. All five. One surprising thing about it though, was that you might guess it would’ve made Yunho and my relationship more strained. The truth is though, was that it actually made our relationship stronger.
I don’t know why, maybe it was the thrill of hiding, or the constant challenge of wanting to see each other, or the feeling of rebelliousness while proving everyone wrong, or maybe it was the appeal of having a forbidden love.
Yunho and I had talked about it one night, while sprawled on the bed with nothing but a stained blanket over our sweaty, naked bodies. We agreed that it was because we realized how much we meant to each other, when separation threatened us.
I stared at the window of my airplane and stared at the blinking light from the tail wing. Two more hours and I would be arriving in Spain. I wondered how he was in New York. I bet he was tired. I would've given him a massage..or a bath...or some sex if he needed it.
A sudden rush of impatience went through me, I wanted to get down so I could call him…or so I could finally read the messages he had probably sent while I was on board.
I closed my eyes as I remembered the last time he kissed me; it was in the parking lot of my apartment building. It’s been too long.
I sighed as I wondered how long we’d be like this. It wasn’t that I wasn’t contented with what Yunho and I have; it wasn’t that I was afraid it was going to end soon, it was just that, I wanted things to be back to normal.
…for us not to be separated miles apart, for our contact not to be reduced to stolen calls or texts.
I wanted to hear him whisper he loved me, to feel his breath against my skin while he says it. Not listen to it over choppy phone connections.
I wanted to look at the sincerity in his eyes when he tells me his promises, not read it over some cellphone screen.
And God, I wanted to make love to him, not jerk off to the thoughts of our past intimacy.
Yunho, love, how long does it have to be this difficult?
I put my hands to the pocket of my jacket as the cold temperature from the plane started to get to me. I was surprised to find a note in it.
I took it out and smiled instantly at the handwriting I would never fail to recognize.
I knew you’d get my this jacket from my closet.
Take care on your trip. I love you, Jaejoong-ah.
I bit my lips and gave a little laugh. That, cheesy, cheesy man.
Well, at least now, although we were physically miles apart, I felt closer to Yunho more than I ever had. We were past the stage where we were insecure of our relationship and afraid of the future. We had faith in each other and I guess that wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t go through all the troubles we had for the last two years.
Just a little more, I prayed, just a little more and maybe everything will be alright. With YunJae and with Dong Bang Shin Ki.
----
A/N: YOU CANNOT IMAGINE MY FRUSTRATION RN. I've been writing Too Much to Ask, but I ended up writing smth else. ;~;
Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaay, I wrote this...i don't know what I was thinking.
and this is dedicated to museelo, because...just because I love her! <3
Summary: After the lawsuit, one would expect that there would be a strain in my and Yunho's relationship, but contrary to that, it made us stronger.
Pairing: YunJae
Genre: Romance, Angst
Rating: PG13
Length: Drabble
----
Have you ever had that sensation of kissing someone, who’s so near you, yet it felt like he’s miles away?
I had felt that, a lot of times…all the time, when I kissed Yunho back in late 2008.
Those were the times when Junsu, Yoochun, I…and even Changmin had felt like we were going over the edge with SM Entertainment. Those the times when Yunho and I would spend evenings quarreling over shit I don’t even remember. Those were the times when we’d spend days not talking to each other.
It was the darkest point in our relationship.
He thought I was being selfish. I accused him of being a coward.
He wanted me to stay. I urged him to move on.
Neither of us was right nor wrong, we simply had different wants, different views on life.
I could not, and I will never blame Yunho for what had happened to Dong Bang Shin Ki and I am working on forgiving myself for what had happened.
…but there are simply moments when I couldn’t help but think of what could haves and what ifs.
The lawsuit had changed us and our relationship with each other. All five. One surprising thing about it though, was that you might guess it would’ve made Yunho and my relationship more strained. The truth is though, was that it actually made our relationship stronger.
I don’t know why, maybe it was the thrill of hiding, or the constant challenge of wanting to see each other, or the feeling of rebelliousness while proving everyone wrong, or maybe it was the appeal of having a forbidden love.
Yunho and I had talked about it one night, while sprawled on the bed with nothing but a stained blanket over our sweaty, naked bodies. We agreed that it was because we realized how much we meant to each other, when separation threatened us.
I stared at the window of my airplane and stared at the blinking light from the tail wing. Two more hours and I would be arriving in Spain. I wondered how he was in New York. I bet he was tired. I would've given him a massage..or a bath...or some sex if he needed it.
A sudden rush of impatience went through me, I wanted to get down so I could call him…or so I could finally read the messages he had probably sent while I was on board.
I closed my eyes as I remembered the last time he kissed me; it was in the parking lot of my apartment building. It’s been too long.
I sighed as I wondered how long we’d be like this. It wasn’t that I wasn’t contented with what Yunho and I have; it wasn’t that I was afraid it was going to end soon, it was just that, I wanted things to be back to normal.
…for us not to be separated miles apart, for our contact not to be reduced to stolen calls or texts.
I wanted to hear him whisper he loved me, to feel his breath against my skin while he says it. Not listen to it over choppy phone connections.
I wanted to look at the sincerity in his eyes when he tells me his promises, not read it over some cellphone screen.
And God, I wanted to make love to him, not jerk off to the thoughts of our past intimacy.
Yunho, love, how long does it have to be this difficult?
I put my hands to the pocket of my jacket as the cold temperature from the plane started to get to me. I was surprised to find a note in it.
I took it out and smiled instantly at the handwriting I would never fail to recognize.
I knew you’d get my this jacket from my closet.
Take care on your trip. I love you, Jaejoong-ah.
I bit my lips and gave a little laugh. That, cheesy, cheesy man.
Well, at least now, although we were physically miles apart, I felt closer to Yunho more than I ever had. We were past the stage where we were insecure of our relationship and afraid of the future. We had faith in each other and I guess that wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t go through all the troubles we had for the last two years.
Just a little more, I prayed, just a little more and maybe everything will be alright. With YunJae and with Dong Bang Shin Ki.
----
A/N: YOU CANNOT IMAGINE MY FRUSTRATION RN. I've been writing Too Much to Ask, but I ended up writing smth else. ;~;
Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaay, I wrote this...i don't know what I was thinking.
and this is dedicated to museelo, because...just because I love her! <3