what now
so tonight was awesome, me and chad went riding again and just hung out until 3:30 am, i feel such a connection with him and yet i have no idea why, i haven't talked to carson (love) in like 50 hours and really don't care. i have finally realized that i don't need him, it's time for me to be with someone who is going to treat me well. but besides boys for once, after last week, my pickup got totaled, i am finally happy with a vehicle that i've found, tomorrow brings test driving and seeing about financing and all that good stuff, hopefully by the end of the week i'll have a new car, a 98 monte carlo, it's awesome. well life is becoming more visible as to which path to take from here on out and i've come to the bitter sweet realization that love is for fools, no one falls in love in 3 months, it just doesn't work that way unless the connection is so strong you can't help it, i've seen it happen, but i know that before those words come out of my mouth again it'll be after being with someone for at least 6-7 months. i mean feelings are strong but i can hold out on saying it sooner than i should. i miss being so "whatever" about everything, there was a time in my life where it was like road trip? and everyone else or me would just answer by saying, where to? but i guess i've grown up a little and am ready to start looking for the right person so i can settle down and be happy. who knows, maybe it'll happen sooner than i plan, or later whatever it'll be great when it does. but i love ya all. bexy