i hate this
sometimes i get so depressed about things that are out of my control.... i have no one to turn to ... my bestfriend is away at college and she never has time for me and she never even calls me back... my sister is about to have a baby and i am sooo excited but i am gonna miss times with my sister before gianna..... i miss lauren cuz she never let me get away things and was always so good at keeping me accountable for my actions... people my age are getting married graduating college and getting on with their lives and here i am jobless and depressed watching everyone around me be happy... why cant i be happy... all i want to do is crawl up in a ball and get drunk and sleep till its alll over..... my mom keeps trying to get me to do things and i just dont want to leave my room and i have gotten sooo emo its not even funny ... i dont know the last time i told the truth about how i feel..... i hate that i got fired i want my job back and i hate linnea and dr. musa for not talking to me and for not being there for me when i needed both of them.... i dont want another job cuz i am afraid to trust people to work with people who are going to back stab me ever chance they get... i miss lisa and grooming peeps i hate that when i was there last week that "he" didnt even talk to me when i said hi he just walked away from me .... i hate that i cant let go of a guy that has treated me like crap for 7 years and when i call he never answers... i hate that another guy i trusted is into bad things and has changed soo much that i dont even know him anymore and that he had so much going for him and he just throw it all away for friends that care only about themselves and that he could be in college doing great but instead he is not and i know that i did that same things and i wish i could talk to him and help him cause i love the kid we used to be sooo close.... i miss my lil sister kristy i wish we were like we used to be i love her soo much and i am soo proud of her for going away to school and making somthing of herself i just wish i told her that before.... i love that i have danny he is the one person who has just been there for me through this whole thing and has gotten my mind off of things i love u danny and u are the best friend anyone could ask for......