Ministry position available!
I stole this from Brandon's Journal. Hopefully it will console all of you Bible College graduates looking for ministry positions. Remember, It could be worse!
Church is seeking an exceptional leader to be our Pastor of Extreme Worship Arts. We believe the right person will be a unique fit for for such a time as this.
This person serve under the Senior Pastor, and will oversee all areas of worship. Candidates must embrace the Senior Pastor’s vision of aligning all people of all denominations under the same vision. The person must also meet these requirements:
Ability to infuse the TULIP doctrine in all worship sets
Postmodern, Visionary, Missional leader capable of creating an ethos and apostolitic movement
Willing to find some songs written from a premillenial dispensationalist theological tradition
Desires to develop an emerging handbell choir
Some snake handling may be appropriate (for our believers service only)
Agree that the Lord is to be worshiped through magnificent attire and appropriate versions of the Bible
Demonstrate proof of a second blessing... Tongue speaking in various accents is a major plus as we are a multicultural church.
Exegetically establish a movement of fluidity in the Extreme Worship Ministry
We realize that many of these requirements are personal preferences and not biblical mandates. Therefore, each candidate must be aligned with roughly 3/4 of all our requirements.
Church is seeking an exceptional leader to be our Pastor of Extreme Worship Arts. We believe the right person will be a unique fit for for such a time as this.
This person serve under the Senior Pastor, and will oversee all areas of worship. Candidates must embrace the Senior Pastor’s vision of aligning all people of all denominations under the same vision. The person must also meet these requirements:
Ability to infuse the TULIP doctrine in all worship sets
Postmodern, Visionary, Missional leader capable of creating an ethos and apostolitic movement
Willing to find some songs written from a premillenial dispensationalist theological tradition
Desires to develop an emerging handbell choir
Some snake handling may be appropriate (for our believers service only)
Agree that the Lord is to be worshiped through magnificent attire and appropriate versions of the Bible
Demonstrate proof of a second blessing... Tongue speaking in various accents is a major plus as we are a multicultural church.
Exegetically establish a movement of fluidity in the Extreme Worship Ministry
We realize that many of these requirements are personal preferences and not biblical mandates. Therefore, each candidate must be aligned with roughly 3/4 of all our requirements.