Its Saturday =D
I stayed at Emma's last night it was really fun hehe, i picked an outfit for her that i would wear, and she picked one of her tops for me to wear, and i did her hair and her make-up how i would do mine, and my make-up and hair was like hers. And we the each other hehe. We took photos...
Clearly we rock! Hehe.
Anyway, today was Saturday, and it was sunny. And i went to town, and i saw the Polish market, and i bough candied fruit there heh, and i went to titchy, and saw people i hadn't seen in a while, and it was actually quite fun. I feel summer coming back. Its just like, different. I don't want it to be. And i know people are getting so sick of hearing me "moan" about last summer, but those were the best days of my life probably. I was happy, actually truely happy at the begining. I had really great friends; i was in love and it didn't hurt much because he was so happy, and he cared for me, and i felt that he might have loved me too, even if it was just in a friendly way; i was innocent and people thought a lot of me; i was the optermistic one who cheered everyone up. And i'm optermistic now, but people don't see me like that anymore, because a long the line i got hurt, and i cried, and i got upset, and people hated me for it.
I'm not sure how i feel exactly. I'm in another one of those stages of emotional numbness.
I'm living life day-by-day at the moment. I'm not looking to the future, i haven't for a long time. I guess it just means that i can get by. I am getting by. It hurts sometimes but i am getting by. I'm still here aren't I? So don't complain i'm not as happy as i was, i can't go back, but i'm trying to be the real me. I just need to find her.
Maybe i needs someone to help me find her.
Maybe i know that person, but they don't have much time for me now days?
Thats probably it.
Hugs&Kisses
~ Bexie
Clearly we rock! Hehe.
Anyway, today was Saturday, and it was sunny. And i went to town, and i saw the Polish market, and i bough candied fruit there heh, and i went to titchy, and saw people i hadn't seen in a while, and it was actually quite fun. I feel summer coming back. Its just like, different. I don't want it to be. And i know people are getting so sick of hearing me "moan" about last summer, but those were the best days of my life probably. I was happy, actually truely happy at the begining. I had really great friends; i was in love and it didn't hurt much because he was so happy, and he cared for me, and i felt that he might have loved me too, even if it was just in a friendly way; i was innocent and people thought a lot of me; i was the optermistic one who cheered everyone up. And i'm optermistic now, but people don't see me like that anymore, because a long the line i got hurt, and i cried, and i got upset, and people hated me for it.
I'm not sure how i feel exactly. I'm in another one of those stages of emotional numbness.
I'm living life day-by-day at the moment. I'm not looking to the future, i haven't for a long time. I guess it just means that i can get by. I am getting by. It hurts sometimes but i am getting by. I'm still here aren't I? So don't complain i'm not as happy as i was, i can't go back, but i'm trying to be the real me. I just need to find her.
Maybe i needs someone to help me find her.
Maybe i know that person, but they don't have much time for me now days?
Thats probably it.
Hugs&Kisses
~ Bexie