dear god.

[bex_lovees_u]

i'm losing my fucking mind.
i don't think i can take this.

first day sucked.
the other juniors in my major were totally silent.
so we'd just sit there staring at each other for an hour.
it was horrible.
i couldn't take it by lunch the next day.
so as people slowly came in the room,
i danced.
around the table.
like an idiot.
but by that point some people started talking.
i told them i couldn't take the silence anymore.
and by the end of the day when i came in, people were actually talking.
it was great.
though i think i just come off crazy,
it's okay.
i don't care anymore.

then the second day was much better.
and i didn't have spanish.
which i despise.
and i haven't taken any.
but i was put in 101.
and most of the class has had up to spanish 3.
so he keeps talking in spanish and expects me to understand and he won't translate.
it fucking sucks.
i want to kill myself.
when i'm in there at least.

then to top off the joy.
becca agreed to give me rides to broadway after school.
not far out of her way or anything.
well her mom apparently freaked about this.
and decided that after today she's not allowed to anymore.
so i have no way anywhere after school.
i'm stuck at the school.
so i have to hope that someone can give me a ride even though they don't really know me.
ugh.
and i don't have a way tomorrow.
and i really don't want to walk from aast to broadway.
ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.