Escape From The Ties That Bind (1/1)
Title: Escape From The Ties That Bind
Author: Bex81385
Pairing/Characters: Chuck
Spoilers: up to and including “Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou?”
Summary: Chuck's thoughts following the funeral.
Escape From The Ties That Bind
He hadn't really thought about anything other than escaping when he got on the plane. He just knew he had to run; from all the people whose sympathy he didn't want, from all the people who said they loved him, but mainly from Blair who managed to fall into both categories. He was too emotionally raw to handle breaking her heart all over again, no matter how badly he'd wanted to reciprocate the words he'd been trying to pry from her lips for months. Not now at least, not while he was still trying to come to terms with the fact that his father was gone, and everything that meant.
It's ridiculous, the running, considering he's not mourning the death of his father, not really. The very idea that he could possibly grieve the loss of his father, a man as cold and hard as Bart Bass, was simply preposterous; or at least it was to him. He'd managed to keep that thought to himself; he doubted anyone would understand, not even Nate or Serena.
Blair, however, Blair would understand perfectly, and he knew it. It was one of the reasons he'd always been drawn to her, one of the reasons they were so perfect for each other. They understood each other. They both had one parent who was gone, Chuck's mother by death, Blair's dad by choice and one parent who relied solely on the staff to parent. Still, he couldn't face Blair, not without crumbling and he wasn't ready for that to happen, not even close.
It's not until he's tucked safely in the back of the Bass company plane, scotch in hand, that he realizes what he really lost and what he's really mourning---the opportunity and the chance to really prove his worth to the Bass name.
He thought, for a brief moment, he'd managed to earn his last name with Victrola. He'd been wrong, and Bart had made it clear. Then, he'd tried again with that club Vanessa had shown him, only to have Bart smack his idea down once more. Now, he'd never have another chance to prove himself to his father. He'd never have another opportunity to show Bart that he was capable of one day running Bass Enterprises.
He'd thought the desire to prove himself worthy of his father's approval would die with Bart. That it would follow his father six feet below and he'd be free from the pressure, the expectations, and the disapproval, but it hadn't. Instead it carved a nice little niche for itself at the base of his throat; and every time he took a breath, he could feel it there, choking him, threatening to force its way back up. He could only hope that when the plane touched down in Thailand, he'd finally feel some relief.