this is what i'm thinking about...

[bewitched_bones]

leaving.
all i think about is leaving.
i walk slowly to class with my head up and shoes soaking, and i think about leaving.
i take notes in my perfect hand, and think about leaving.
i clean my room by making it messy, and i think about leaving.
i see you and think about how i'll miss you.
i think about leaving myself.
what this robyn is right now, she's really getting to me.
i appreciate her honesty.
i appreciate her.
but this skin is growing old and i want to start fresh.

i miss talking fast. i might start doing it again.
i'm tired of looking at this same old face.
so i changed my hair, and i'm going to do it right.
i'm going to cut the shit out of it, i just want change.
i love my new clothes, but feel really...fat?
not like, i think i'm fat, but i just feel...big.
i just don't feel like eating. i just want to drink. i'm tired of chewing, really, it's the strangest feeling.
i like casually smoking, it gives me a feeling you don't understand. it's not going to kill me. not yet at least.
i want to spend a gross amount of money on clothes, just like the other day, just out with the old and in with the new.
i keep painting my face but it all washes off. i just want it to look different.

because i love me. i do.
robyn is pretty fucking spectacular.
i like who i am.

but i do want a change.

leaving is that big change for me. but it's not happening soon enough. i'm getting antsy.

i just want to leave.