Parting is such sweet sorrow
I've never really liked Shakespeare. However, these words have been on my mind a lot lately. Parting IS such sweet sorrow. I don't think anyone can describe it better than that.
Today, I find myself thinking a lot about change. In life, change is so inevitable and so frightening. In life, there are no guarantees. Nothing lasts forever, and time will continue to turn. Its so strange to think about the lives that have come before my own. Millions of people whose lives played out to completion in one way or another. So many people who lived and are now forgotten. Lost in the veil of time. How strange. Before me, people loved, people laughed, people cried. And after my time is up, life will continue to spin. Its humbling to realize how small my life is compared to the greater picture. In heart breaking truth, I am and always will be, weak and powerless. No matter what my heart may say, or great conclusions my mind might find, I am undeniably mortal. It is bittersweet.
I think about the people who have passed through my life, people I will almost certainly never see again. Friends that meant so much to me, are now only shadowed faces in my memory. Stranger still is the knowledge that I am probably the same to them. A distant memory. And what about my youth? When I was younger I couldn't imagine life beyond my parents and school. I remember wanting to grow up so much, and now I wonder if I wasted my childhood dreaming of adulthood. Dreaming for the day when my voice would matter. Funny to make it here and realize how little one voice really matters.
When I was younger, I dreamed of finding some magical portal that could transport me to another world. I dreamed of magic and dire quests. I dreamed of saving the world and falling in love. And I dreamed of love as this great earth shattering thing. I dreamed of some conquering hero sweeping me off my feet and loving me for all eternity. I dreamed that love could conquer all things. I used to sit at my bedroom window gazing out at the silver moon and imagine my dearest love somewhere out in the world waiting as hungrily for me as I waited for him. I used to believe in that. Its sad that that particular belief has faded from me. I now realize that life cannot contain such a love. There is no human love that can last forever. Say what you will, disagree if you will, but I know that kind of love can never exist in this world. The closest I've ever come to it is in the presence of my sweet Lord. And I am beginning to understand how little I can truly see of that love. It is not for a human to know the full extent of God's love. Like I said, we humans can't understand that type of love in its entirety.
So, tonight I think about old friends. I think about characters in my favorite books and stories that came to an end before I would have liked. I think about God and I think about my own frailty. I think about love, and I think about old dreams. And I'm sure that I make no sense at all. But for tonight at least, I am content to linger amidst my own thoughts.
Today, I find myself thinking a lot about change. In life, change is so inevitable and so frightening. In life, there are no guarantees. Nothing lasts forever, and time will continue to turn. Its so strange to think about the lives that have come before my own. Millions of people whose lives played out to completion in one way or another. So many people who lived and are now forgotten. Lost in the veil of time. How strange. Before me, people loved, people laughed, people cried. And after my time is up, life will continue to spin. Its humbling to realize how small my life is compared to the greater picture. In heart breaking truth, I am and always will be, weak and powerless. No matter what my heart may say, or great conclusions my mind might find, I am undeniably mortal. It is bittersweet.
I think about the people who have passed through my life, people I will almost certainly never see again. Friends that meant so much to me, are now only shadowed faces in my memory. Stranger still is the knowledge that I am probably the same to them. A distant memory. And what about my youth? When I was younger I couldn't imagine life beyond my parents and school. I remember wanting to grow up so much, and now I wonder if I wasted my childhood dreaming of adulthood. Dreaming for the day when my voice would matter. Funny to make it here and realize how little one voice really matters.
When I was younger, I dreamed of finding some magical portal that could transport me to another world. I dreamed of magic and dire quests. I dreamed of saving the world and falling in love. And I dreamed of love as this great earth shattering thing. I dreamed of some conquering hero sweeping me off my feet and loving me for all eternity. I dreamed that love could conquer all things. I used to sit at my bedroom window gazing out at the silver moon and imagine my dearest love somewhere out in the world waiting as hungrily for me as I waited for him. I used to believe in that. Its sad that that particular belief has faded from me. I now realize that life cannot contain such a love. There is no human love that can last forever. Say what you will, disagree if you will, but I know that kind of love can never exist in this world. The closest I've ever come to it is in the presence of my sweet Lord. And I am beginning to understand how little I can truly see of that love. It is not for a human to know the full extent of God's love. Like I said, we humans can't understand that type of love in its entirety.
So, tonight I think about old friends. I think about characters in my favorite books and stories that came to an end before I would have liked. I think about God and I think about my own frailty. I think about love, and I think about old dreams. And I'm sure that I make no sense at all. But for tonight at least, I am content to linger amidst my own thoughts.