Wowzerzzz
Wow,
I Guess it has been A Really Long time since i Have updated This journal Thingy Huh?. well lemme just Start Off by Saying,
"I cannot leave here, I cannot stay
Forever haunted, more than afraid
Asphyxiate on words I would say
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue
There are no flowers, no, not this time
There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak
I'd share for you, could I only speak, just how much this hurts me
I cannot stay here, I cannot leave
Just like all I loved, I'm make believe
Imagined heart, I disappear
Seems... no one will appear here and make me real
I'd tell you how it haunts me
I'd tell you how it haunts me
Cuts through my day and sinks into my dreams
I'd tell you how it haunts me
There are no flowers, no, not this time
There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak
I'd share with you, could I only speak, just how much this hurts me
Just how much this hurts me
Just how much you..."
And With That Said..... my life Has been Going Extremely Wonderful lately.
I Smiled Most Of My Days, And laughed the Remaining Moments Of The 24 Hours. Started Hanging Out With A new "Scene" I Guess You Can Say. & The Outcome Has Left Me Very Comfortable So Far, So I Think that is a Good thing. Gone Too A Few Shows Recently.... Those Were All Excellent, But Mainly AFI, Holy Jesus.... That Was one of The best Shows I Have Ever Attended...manson Was Kinda homosexual Just because Hes getting Lazy and Too bored.... gets up, Does the Agenda Then Gets The Fuck off... No Talks, Not Encouragement.. Not Even A Decent Stage Set-Up This Time Around.. Very Dissapointed But Whatever. Hmm I Guess if my life Was Gonna be put Into A Story Of Some Sort...it'd Probably Be A very Twisted. Wizard of Oz Meets (Alice) In Wonderland, With ofcoures A little Aladdin Mixed Around Somewhere in There....I Think Where I left off In This journal thingy is When The Current Suiter left And fucked Me Over and I was Recovering In my hide-out on The top Of Agraba With the Wonderful view Of The Palace.. yet Then to My Suprise. Along With a few Others.. The Run-Away Female Came back... And I Admit, I gave In... But Not Totally. I Might Be A Street Rat, But Im Not That Retarded. I Worked With It For a bit, yet Still Didnt Re-Gain Any Motivation To Commite With This Humanly Figure.. The Negative Obsticles & Decoys Would only Stir Up a Rotten And very Spoiled Beverage That Would Replace my Thirst With An Emotional Sick State That Only An Enemy Would Wish Upon Someone. Attempting To Avoid the Side-Effects (Tears, Depression, Negative Activities And Thoughts.& Total Break Downs.) I'd force Myself To Change The Page. Skipping The Chapter To The Next Would be More Ideal But myself As a Human Being. Im Too Weak To Skip The Chapter, Only because i Cant help but Feel That The Story Wouldnt make Sense At The Conclusion.. Or I skipped The Pages Where I have The Best Times Of my life. So id Just Suffer And Turn The Page To See What Happends AFTER The situation. And Still Then, My Story Book Life Would Still Just snowball Into Another dis-agreement. And Out Of Nowhere, The sentences Started Looking More Enjoyable. And Then Along Came The Paragraphs.... Quickly Followed By Full Pages. Overlooking The Acceptional Dis-agreements that randomly occurred Ofcoures. Also Since i am The Main Charactor in This. You Get To See my Emotions, Thoughts And Secrets About Everything That Goes On..Yet In Much More Detail... So Around Now You'd Start To Realize That i Have a huge kink In my Stomache That Slowly Starts To Represent A little Of Reget Mixed With feeling degraded... The Suiters beverage Of Rotten Deceit was Kinda deceived.. I Had The feelings, And The Nightmares, What Would be So great About Dreams if There Wasnt A Nightmare To Ruin It? .. I Wouldnt Have Understood That before this Week Only Because i Was living a Nightmare.. A Re-occuring Nightmare..As i layed Down To just let myself Drift into It Again.. i Watched it Avoid My Story line, Straight To haunt Another hopeless dreamer....before i Felt pity, I Fell into It.... My Current dream, The Dreams i Never Thought Existed... it Was Only A few Minutes Away The Whole Time... And I never Would have Considerd It Really A Dream unless Ive Whitnessed The Nightmare... And As I have Already Done so, I Am Going To Pray Never To Awake From This Sweet Surrender.... but As I Was Saying.. The Kink That was not infected in My Stomache knew What Was Going on... So Whenever She Would Try To Kiss Me With her huge-egoed Lips. And Quickly Slide The Dirty Lies That She Spoke Of With her Tongue Behind The Passion As An Easy Escape Without Me Knowing... Well Just know, That I Tasted Those Dirty Lies... & They Definitly Made me Sick,
"You Did Bullshit your Way Into My Heart.
With The Only intentions To Rip It Apart,
You Thought you Could simply Have it All Done,
And Soon Be Crownd "The one Who Won"
Im Not Giving You A Chance to Go back and Mend.
For I Refuse to Watch you Reach This end.
In The past I have Givin In And Easily believed,
But This time Around, your The Only One Being Deceived."
But ya, She Died in This book Twards the End of That Chapter, Sad(Tear Tear ) Ok Move On... But as The Next chapter begins, my whole Charactor has Changed.... Im walking To the beat of a Different Drum.. Down A Brighter & Healthier Brick Road. In A Whole New Wonderland.. ive only reached the begining.... And i Still Can See The light From The Opening behind Me Of The last tunnel.... But Im Enjoying It Soo Much, Oh Jeeze.. its Great! Ok ... Im Sure No1 Is Gonna Read This Far... But I was Just Blabbering,, i dont even know what i was saying... i think i said the same thing over and over and over Again, Im very Sorry! But ya.. if you do get this far, i dont Know What To Tell you! you Must Be Really Really Bored, LoL. Maybe Ill update Later With a NORMAL Entry. LoL!
-SmurF
I Guess it has been A Really Long time since i Have updated This journal Thingy Huh?. well lemme just Start Off by Saying,
"I cannot leave here, I cannot stay
Forever haunted, more than afraid
Asphyxiate on words I would say
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue
There are no flowers, no, not this time
There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak
I'd share for you, could I only speak, just how much this hurts me
I cannot stay here, I cannot leave
Just like all I loved, I'm make believe
Imagined heart, I disappear
Seems... no one will appear here and make me real
I'd tell you how it haunts me
I'd tell you how it haunts me
Cuts through my day and sinks into my dreams
I'd tell you how it haunts me
There are no flowers, no, not this time
There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak
I'd share with you, could I only speak, just how much this hurts me
Just how much this hurts me
Just how much you..."
And With That Said..... my life Has been Going Extremely Wonderful lately.
I Smiled Most Of My Days, And laughed the Remaining Moments Of The 24 Hours. Started Hanging Out With A new "Scene" I Guess You Can Say. & The Outcome Has Left Me Very Comfortable So Far, So I Think that is a Good thing. Gone Too A Few Shows Recently.... Those Were All Excellent, But Mainly AFI, Holy Jesus.... That Was one of The best Shows I Have Ever Attended...manson Was Kinda homosexual Just because Hes getting Lazy and Too bored.... gets up, Does the Agenda Then Gets The Fuck off... No Talks, Not Encouragement.. Not Even A Decent Stage Set-Up This Time Around.. Very Dissapointed But Whatever. Hmm I Guess if my life Was Gonna be put Into A Story Of Some Sort...it'd Probably Be A very Twisted. Wizard of Oz Meets (Alice) In Wonderland, With ofcoures A little Aladdin Mixed Around Somewhere in There....I Think Where I left off In This journal thingy is When The Current Suiter left And fucked Me Over and I was Recovering In my hide-out on The top Of Agraba With the Wonderful view Of The Palace.. yet Then to My Suprise. Along With a few Others.. The Run-Away Female Came back... And I Admit, I gave In... But Not Totally. I Might Be A Street Rat, But Im Not That Retarded. I Worked With It For a bit, yet Still Didnt Re-Gain Any Motivation To Commite With This Humanly Figure.. The Negative Obsticles & Decoys Would only Stir Up a Rotten And very Spoiled Beverage That Would Replace my Thirst With An Emotional Sick State That Only An Enemy Would Wish Upon Someone. Attempting To Avoid the Side-Effects (Tears, Depression, Negative Activities And Thoughts.& Total Break Downs.) I'd force Myself To Change The Page. Skipping The Chapter To The Next Would be More Ideal But myself As a Human Being. Im Too Weak To Skip The Chapter, Only because i Cant help but Feel That The Story Wouldnt make Sense At The Conclusion.. Or I skipped The Pages Where I have The Best Times Of my life. So id Just Suffer And Turn The Page To See What Happends AFTER The situation. And Still Then, My Story Book Life Would Still Just snowball Into Another dis-agreement. And Out Of Nowhere, The sentences Started Looking More Enjoyable. And Then Along Came The Paragraphs.... Quickly Followed By Full Pages. Overlooking The Acceptional Dis-agreements that randomly occurred Ofcoures. Also Since i am The Main Charactor in This. You Get To See my Emotions, Thoughts And Secrets About Everything That Goes On..Yet In Much More Detail... So Around Now You'd Start To Realize That i Have a huge kink In my Stomache That Slowly Starts To Represent A little Of Reget Mixed With feeling degraded... The Suiters beverage Of Rotten Deceit was Kinda deceived.. I Had The feelings, And The Nightmares, What Would be So great About Dreams if There Wasnt A Nightmare To Ruin It? .. I Wouldnt Have Understood That before this Week Only Because i Was living a Nightmare.. A Re-occuring Nightmare..As i layed Down To just let myself Drift into It Again.. i Watched it Avoid My Story line, Straight To haunt Another hopeless dreamer....before i Felt pity, I Fell into It.... My Current dream, The Dreams i Never Thought Existed... it Was Only A few Minutes Away The Whole Time... And I never Would have Considerd It Really A Dream unless Ive Whitnessed The Nightmare... And As I have Already Done so, I Am Going To Pray Never To Awake From This Sweet Surrender.... but As I Was Saying.. The Kink That was not infected in My Stomache knew What Was Going on... So Whenever She Would Try To Kiss Me With her huge-egoed Lips. And Quickly Slide The Dirty Lies That She Spoke Of With her Tongue Behind The Passion As An Easy Escape Without Me Knowing... Well Just know, That I Tasted Those Dirty Lies... & They Definitly Made me Sick,
"You Did Bullshit your Way Into My Heart.
With The Only intentions To Rip It Apart,
You Thought you Could simply Have it All Done,
And Soon Be Crownd "The one Who Won"
Im Not Giving You A Chance to Go back and Mend.
For I Refuse to Watch you Reach This end.
In The past I have Givin In And Easily believed,
But This time Around, your The Only One Being Deceived."
But ya, She Died in This book Twards the End of That Chapter, Sad(Tear Tear ) Ok Move On... But as The Next chapter begins, my whole Charactor has Changed.... Im walking To the beat of a Different Drum.. Down A Brighter & Healthier Brick Road. In A Whole New Wonderland.. ive only reached the begining.... And i Still Can See The light From The Opening behind Me Of The last tunnel.... But Im Enjoying It Soo Much, Oh Jeeze.. its Great! Ok ... Im Sure No1 Is Gonna Read This Far... But I was Just Blabbering,, i dont even know what i was saying... i think i said the same thing over and over and over Again, Im very Sorry! But ya.. if you do get this far, i dont Know What To Tell you! you Must Be Really Really Bored, LoL. Maybe Ill update Later With a NORMAL Entry. LoL!
-SmurF