on being in the public eye
Lately I've been getting a lot of press. O Magazine, AARP magazine, Yahoo news. Apparently mid-life career changes are all the rage these days, so suddenly my going from software engineer to circus aerialist is big news. People tell me I am inspiring, to have had the courage to walk away from a career that had become unfulfilling and then somehow wind up in something entirely different and fairly unconventional. I am both delighted and baffled by this reaction. To me, I was just putting one foot in front of the other and walking down the path that felt right to me. I wasn't trying to inspire anyone or be a role model or anything like that. I was just doing what made me happy.
Well, duh. How many people never take the initiative to make changes in their lives in order to be happier? Overcoming inertia is hard, especially when you're making decent money and being recognized for the work you're doing. For me, it meant walking away from something that had defined who I was for my entire adult life, and not knowing quite who I would be without it.
So if I accept that what I've done with my life is noteworthy and inspirational, then I guess that means I am a Role Model of some sort. Well, there's some responsibility for you! People look to me for clues about how to be happy and self-actualized and successful? Eek. Now I'm self-conscious...and hyper-aware of all the ways in which I don't live up to my own ideals. I guess if that makes me work on myself more, in the end it's a good thing. And hopefully nobody expects me to be perfect - just to be striving for growth.
Ultimately, this whole experience of being all over the media has helped reinforce something I have suspected for a while now, which is that my purpose for being on this planet is.....to set a good example. To live with integrity, to be unapologetic about who I am, and to have the nerve to just take a leap of faith sometimes. There are worse reasons to be alive, I reckon.
Well, duh. How many people never take the initiative to make changes in their lives in order to be happier? Overcoming inertia is hard, especially when you're making decent money and being recognized for the work you're doing. For me, it meant walking away from something that had defined who I was for my entire adult life, and not knowing quite who I would be without it.
So if I accept that what I've done with my life is noteworthy and inspirational, then I guess that means I am a Role Model of some sort. Well, there's some responsibility for you! People look to me for clues about how to be happy and self-actualized and successful? Eek. Now I'm self-conscious...and hyper-aware of all the ways in which I don't live up to my own ideals. I guess if that makes me work on myself more, in the end it's a good thing. And hopefully nobody expects me to be perfect - just to be striving for growth.
Ultimately, this whole experience of being all over the media has helped reinforce something I have suspected for a while now, which is that my purpose for being on this planet is.....to set a good example. To live with integrity, to be unapologetic about who I am, and to have the nerve to just take a leap of faith sometimes. There are worse reasons to be alive, I reckon.