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Hm everywhere I go people are hooking/ed up. It's amusing, particularly in a place like here. It's amusing when Morneault is being a silly about calling his girlfriend who lives in... [tada] Oregon. Gah. Who would want to settle for that. [hypocrite hypocrite] Oh well most people have to settle for something around here if they want to have any relationship whatsoever. Perhaps I am lucky that I don't have to deal with it.
I was listening to unfinished tracks that I haven't worked on in months this morning. I wish I had the motivation and convenient time to work on them now... But my dad sucks all my motivation out when he's around being his lovely post-midlife crisis self and I can never get alone in here to work on anything. I should get a decent sounding 4 track and work on shit in my room and upload it to edit. It's just a shame to let everything grow mold... There is some really good stuff, like this gorgeous mix of Staring in B + W that is just sonic pretty. I hate this house for making it so hard to concentrate. I wish there was some other place to go or some way to get around it...
He's coming home tomorrow. I don't feel like switching into bitch mode again. But it is so hard to be any other way anymore. I've gotta find another face to put on that will keep him at the distance I need. God you should have read what I scribbled last night... There's not much point in recounting it, but it just doesn't make any sense to have a father who I have to struggle to treat civilly. I've tried so hard to figure out where I'm being stupid and selfish and neurotic but I can't. It's a change I haven't got any responsibility for.
Maybe I'll start writing again. It doesn't like me usually but maybe since I can't make myself create anything else it will be nice to me. I've got to find somewhere else to vent my icky half.
I was listening to unfinished tracks that I haven't worked on in months this morning. I wish I had the motivation and convenient time to work on them now... But my dad sucks all my motivation out when he's around being his lovely post-midlife crisis self and I can never get alone in here to work on anything. I should get a decent sounding 4 track and work on shit in my room and upload it to edit. It's just a shame to let everything grow mold... There is some really good stuff, like this gorgeous mix of Staring in B + W that is just sonic pretty. I hate this house for making it so hard to concentrate. I wish there was some other place to go or some way to get around it...
He's coming home tomorrow. I don't feel like switching into bitch mode again. But it is so hard to be any other way anymore. I've gotta find another face to put on that will keep him at the distance I need. God you should have read what I scribbled last night... There's not much point in recounting it, but it just doesn't make any sense to have a father who I have to struggle to treat civilly. I've tried so hard to figure out where I'm being stupid and selfish and neurotic but I can't. It's a change I haven't got any responsibility for.
Maybe I'll start writing again. It doesn't like me usually but maybe since I can't make myself create anything else it will be nice to me. I've got to find somewhere else to vent my icky half.