(no subject)
a coworker of mine from carrabbas, dave fields killed himself a few days ago. i guess he shot himself in the head. it makes me really sad. i mean he had lot of issues but aside from them he managed to always be in good spirits and he was always very genuine. one of the people i snuck outside with at carrabbas to have a cigarette
a month ago he IMed me on facebook and ended up IMing me on AIM and we talked for a long time. he told me all about his life, he was getting clean, finishing up at AACC in some sort of design involved with architecture but it wasn't architecture and it was on computers and i mean i didn't understand it then either but he was excited about it. he did mention that he just broke up with his long term girlfriend. he mentioned thinking about suicide but that he would never do it, and he told me that he was just really lonely. i told him anytime he needed a friend, i was always online or in reach of my phone and he could certainly call me.
i mean i'm not saying we were good friends or anything, i just don't think anyone should have to feel desperate loneliness. i mean we had too different lives to be like hang out friends, he was into drugs, i think talking about going to meetings. he was just a completely different person than i am....
it just makes me really sad. i was shocked but not all together surprised. he's still signed online on mobile AIM on my buddy list. i remember seeing his name a few days ago and thinking "i really should catch up with dave"
so i'm going to try to go to his memorial service tuesday at 11am if i can rearrange my schedule for school. i don't know if it's appropriate to go since he and i were not like the best of friends or anything, but he had an impact on my life, nothing super profound but definitely made an impression.
death is really weird to me. i see people die all of the time. i'm not really afraid of death because every time a patient passes away, to me, the room just feels different, more peaceful. then again i'm used to death being an end of physical suffering. i guess it's the same with emotional suffering too though, death would be an end. i hope he doesn't hurt anymore. he's been struggling with life since i met him, through serious addiction that didn't make him happy. he was trying to kick that habit since i met him 2 years ago.
rip dave.
a month ago he IMed me on facebook and ended up IMing me on AIM and we talked for a long time. he told me all about his life, he was getting clean, finishing up at AACC in some sort of design involved with architecture but it wasn't architecture and it was on computers and i mean i didn't understand it then either but he was excited about it. he did mention that he just broke up with his long term girlfriend. he mentioned thinking about suicide but that he would never do it, and he told me that he was just really lonely. i told him anytime he needed a friend, i was always online or in reach of my phone and he could certainly call me.
i mean i'm not saying we were good friends or anything, i just don't think anyone should have to feel desperate loneliness. i mean we had too different lives to be like hang out friends, he was into drugs, i think talking about going to meetings. he was just a completely different person than i am....
it just makes me really sad. i was shocked but not all together surprised. he's still signed online on mobile AIM on my buddy list. i remember seeing his name a few days ago and thinking "i really should catch up with dave"
so i'm going to try to go to his memorial service tuesday at 11am if i can rearrange my schedule for school. i don't know if it's appropriate to go since he and i were not like the best of friends or anything, but he had an impact on my life, nothing super profound but definitely made an impression.
death is really weird to me. i see people die all of the time. i'm not really afraid of death because every time a patient passes away, to me, the room just feels different, more peaceful. then again i'm used to death being an end of physical suffering. i guess it's the same with emotional suffering too though, death would be an end. i hope he doesn't hurt anymore. he's been struggling with life since i met him, through serious addiction that didn't make him happy. he was trying to kick that habit since i met him 2 years ago.
rip dave.