I'm glowing
I don't think I've ever been this happy. I thought once that when I found "the one" everything would get better. I was wrong. It was naivety that caused me to fall in love. What a waste, really.
I don't need no man to be happy. I don't need a relationship right now.
First I have to work on myself. I had to find that place where I could feel safe and never be afraid to try new things. I think I've matured a lot in the past couple of months. My trip to Costa Rica has given me a new respect for everything. I've learned to greatly appreciate the things I've received in all my life. I am so happy with the family and friends God has blessed me with. I have let myself love others like I know I'd want to be loved in return. I have opened myself to new beginnings. I started school last month and I know that I can work diligently, in the end I'll feel proud of myself for getting good grades!
Why am I so happy? I believe its the fact that I've let myself do things I was afraid I couldn't do. For instance, getting back into school. For some reason, I couldn't get my lazy ass to get out and do anything about it. I didn't have any motivation to much of anything. But then I began to contemplate what my life would be if I didn't continue my education. I thought about all the things I wanted to achieve in my life. I want to perform. Sing and make music for thousands of people that can relate to my life.
My singing lessons are coming along nicely and Lida says I'm gradually ridding myself from the habit of using my throat to sing, so that I may use my diaphragm and face instead. I have a nice voice, all my friends can say that. I've got to master how to sing without hurting my throat. She tells me it'll be easier to sing with your diaphragm then when you're singing from your throat. I have to practice how to sing softly. It's not that easy to do, BUT I'll get it.
My friends... they're the world to me. I am so thankful for all of them.
Suzy: Our relationship has been like a rollercoaster full of exciting loops and turns. Some that have given us butterflies and some that have made us want to hurl. I love the fact that you are very opinionated and you always tell it how it is. Its great to have a friend like you that can give advice and always try to keep me thinking positively. We always have a splendid time together and we're the best dancers in the scene. We love our jager!!!! I love you so much Suzemuffin!
Sasha: I've known you for 5 years now and let me tell you... first impressions aren't everything. Out of all the people I've ever met, you are one of the most generous. Your heart might as well be the size of whale! We've had our fall outs and miscommunications, but at the end of it all, we're best friends. I was so pleased when you had given me the honor if being your daughter's god mother. She is the greatest kid I know. I appreciate all the things you've ever done for me. You are my sister and I love you so much. Never forget it.
Ashley: Hoe. Its strange how our friendship came about. I love how strange you are at times and how we love to eat Panera. We talk to each other like we're related, its pretty great. I love our talks about the most random shit. We haven't been friends for that long, but geez... why didn't I know you sooner!?? You my friend, are so AWESOME. I love you like a fat kid loves cake after he hits a 72oz steak!! TRASHLEY, I really hate you. HAAA
Thais: Dude, you're getting married! I really wish you would wait until you finished school but I do know you've had trouble deciding what you want to do. Anyways, you sister, are so special. I'm happy that we got to spend so much time together at concerts. I love that we always got lost going somewhere new and we somehow ALWAYS found our way miraculously. You and me had gone through a weird phase in time, pretty much my fault. I'm sorry that I ever hurt you or made you feel inferior to me. I never meant to make you feel like you weren't important to me! I love you so much and I wish you the best with Eric.
FOR MOST IMPORTANT GIRLS IN MY LIFE BESIDES MY MOTHER.
I thank all of you so much for sticking it out with me. You girls are all invidually special and I hope that you guys don't ever go away.
WHAT ELSE MAKES ME HAPPY?!
My puppy Charlie!
And the Orlando trip next month for Suzy's birthday. FREEDOM WEEKEND AWAY FROM MY PRISON BOX haha <3333 October 11th - 14th AND I GET TO DRIVE the rental car!
That's about it. I don't think I could ask for anything else right now. The happiness is so very overwhelming.
I don't need no man to be happy. I don't need a relationship right now.
First I have to work on myself. I had to find that place where I could feel safe and never be afraid to try new things. I think I've matured a lot in the past couple of months. My trip to Costa Rica has given me a new respect for everything. I've learned to greatly appreciate the things I've received in all my life. I am so happy with the family and friends God has blessed me with. I have let myself love others like I know I'd want to be loved in return. I have opened myself to new beginnings. I started school last month and I know that I can work diligently, in the end I'll feel proud of myself for getting good grades!
Why am I so happy? I believe its the fact that I've let myself do things I was afraid I couldn't do. For instance, getting back into school. For some reason, I couldn't get my lazy ass to get out and do anything about it. I didn't have any motivation to much of anything. But then I began to contemplate what my life would be if I didn't continue my education. I thought about all the things I wanted to achieve in my life. I want to perform. Sing and make music for thousands of people that can relate to my life.
My singing lessons are coming along nicely and Lida says I'm gradually ridding myself from the habit of using my throat to sing, so that I may use my diaphragm and face instead. I have a nice voice, all my friends can say that. I've got to master how to sing without hurting my throat. She tells me it'll be easier to sing with your diaphragm then when you're singing from your throat. I have to practice how to sing softly. It's not that easy to do, BUT I'll get it.
My friends... they're the world to me. I am so thankful for all of them.
Suzy: Our relationship has been like a rollercoaster full of exciting loops and turns. Some that have given us butterflies and some that have made us want to hurl. I love the fact that you are very opinionated and you always tell it how it is. Its great to have a friend like you that can give advice and always try to keep me thinking positively. We always have a splendid time together and we're the best dancers in the scene. We love our jager!!!! I love you so much Suzemuffin!
Sasha: I've known you for 5 years now and let me tell you... first impressions aren't everything. Out of all the people I've ever met, you are one of the most generous. Your heart might as well be the size of whale! We've had our fall outs and miscommunications, but at the end of it all, we're best friends. I was so pleased when you had given me the honor if being your daughter's god mother. She is the greatest kid I know. I appreciate all the things you've ever done for me. You are my sister and I love you so much. Never forget it.
Ashley: Hoe. Its strange how our friendship came about. I love how strange you are at times and how we love to eat Panera. We talk to each other like we're related, its pretty great. I love our talks about the most random shit. We haven't been friends for that long, but geez... why didn't I know you sooner!?? You my friend, are so AWESOME. I love you like a fat kid loves cake after he hits a 72oz steak!! TRASHLEY, I really hate you. HAAA
Thais: Dude, you're getting married! I really wish you would wait until you finished school but I do know you've had trouble deciding what you want to do. Anyways, you sister, are so special. I'm happy that we got to spend so much time together at concerts. I love that we always got lost going somewhere new and we somehow ALWAYS found our way miraculously. You and me had gone through a weird phase in time, pretty much my fault. I'm sorry that I ever hurt you or made you feel inferior to me. I never meant to make you feel like you weren't important to me! I love you so much and I wish you the best with Eric.
FOR MOST IMPORTANT GIRLS IN MY LIFE BESIDES MY MOTHER.
I thank all of you so much for sticking it out with me. You girls are all invidually special and I hope that you guys don't ever go away.
WHAT ELSE MAKES ME HAPPY?!
My puppy Charlie!
And the Orlando trip next month for Suzy's birthday. FREEDOM WEEKEND AWAY FROM MY PRISON BOX haha <3333 October 11th - 14th AND I GET TO DRIVE the rental car!
That's about it. I don't think I could ask for anything else right now. The happiness is so very overwhelming.