A big change
I've been thinking about who I am now and who I was in high school and although at first there was no change, I think it's become a pattern for me to start changing the second year of a big change. For example, 7th grade, sophomore year of high school, and now this year.
Mostly it's been because I'm a Bio major now. Before I could do well in school and still be social. Now, if I want to get proper sleep I need to choose school over friends. I used to be the kind of person who thought that finding your significant other was going to be the most fulfilling thing to experience. So I would make that the main goal for myself. Now my main goal for myself, what I want more than that right at this moment is to get strait As and get into UC Berkeley's environmental science PhD program or Forestry certified which would require a masters program. I'm pretty sure I got an A on my lab practical and I've been getting As in my other classes so I think Biology has been the best thing that's happened to me. I never thought of myself as particularly smart or motivated, in high school there were the people who applied to really renowned schools or ivy leagues and took all APs but that wasn't me. I guess I figured I was nothing special at that time. In the end I've realized that the only person that I need to worry about impressing or beating is myself and every quarter I've been raising the bar, every test. It really sucks to get only a B- when you studied so hard to get an A but that's how science is sometimes. So I keep trying and that's how I know this is what I want to do because I've always been someone to take the easy way out, my high school self that is, but now things are different. I'm learning how to put myself and my personal goals ahead of my social life, which in a way has made me a bit removed from my social life. What I've discovered from that is how I don't really need the kind of attention or the amount of friends that I thought I needed. I can still feel ecstatic when I'm by myself and friends are far away. The more times goes by with this new way of thinking the more I believe everything will fall into place.
Mostly it's been because I'm a Bio major now. Before I could do well in school and still be social. Now, if I want to get proper sleep I need to choose school over friends. I used to be the kind of person who thought that finding your significant other was going to be the most fulfilling thing to experience. So I would make that the main goal for myself. Now my main goal for myself, what I want more than that right at this moment is to get strait As and get into UC Berkeley's environmental science PhD program or Forestry certified which would require a masters program. I'm pretty sure I got an A on my lab practical and I've been getting As in my other classes so I think Biology has been the best thing that's happened to me. I never thought of myself as particularly smart or motivated, in high school there were the people who applied to really renowned schools or ivy leagues and took all APs but that wasn't me. I guess I figured I was nothing special at that time. In the end I've realized that the only person that I need to worry about impressing or beating is myself and every quarter I've been raising the bar, every test. It really sucks to get only a B- when you studied so hard to get an A but that's how science is sometimes. So I keep trying and that's how I know this is what I want to do because I've always been someone to take the easy way out, my high school self that is, but now things are different. I'm learning how to put myself and my personal goals ahead of my social life, which in a way has made me a bit removed from my social life. What I've discovered from that is how I don't really need the kind of attention or the amount of friends that I thought I needed. I can still feel ecstatic when I'm by myself and friends are far away. The more times goes by with this new way of thinking the more I believe everything will fall into place.