Quotes moved from Facebook
Blaire quotes...
"Priest me up, badboy!"
"Oh no, shes WELL in school!"
[Upon breaking Simons stethascope] "Oh no! I broke his headphones!"
"Sometimes being pushed up against a wall and having your nipples twisted just isnt that nice"
"MANE MANE MANE"
"Ill just use him to sleep on the sofa, i SWEAR!"
"God. You and that guy should have children. Youd probably give birth to Mozcasso!"
Others:
Me: "Hes like a ken doll!" *does actions*
Me/Callum: "How about a fork to the face?!"
Me: "Dave, why dont you open the window with your big swollen toe?"
Dave:"WELL WHY DONT YOU SMASH IT WITH YOUR HUGE GLAND!?"
Old man in the pub: "What a happy laugh you have!!"
Alana: "Gosh i get so horny...not with you, with men!"
Jonathan: "RINSED!"
Me: "BEAKED!!"
Bob Mortimer: "Hes a bogus priest but hes welcome at the feast!"
Said to Amy: "I like your ponytail, you look like a stripper!"
Rosie: "Ohmygod is that a tank? Wait..no..its a lawnmower..."
Jodie: "Ray! Ive superglued my fingers together gluing a croc to my shorts. Ill never be able to get married!"
Laura, in lourdes: "Whos MARY?" cue the woman in fron spinning round with a CLASSIC bewildered face!
Jonny Quotes:
"A synthesiser? I htought that was one of those things that sucked water from the air...no, wait. Thats a dehumidifyer..."
"Why would you need a drill for a weave?"
"Soon as your sight goes, you cant see!"
8 out of 10 cats favourites:
"Lets tear open the backs of oour fridges and fuck this place up!"
"I got beat up! There i was spinning away gently having a wonderful time, and a brute hit me!!" "You suffered the gayest assault EVER!"
"Now that everyone has to smoke outside i have to go to the pub for fresh air!"
"Wimbledon always try to make a pun...Wimblesun...Timbledon...WIMBLENUN!"
"The only way i ever want to see Geri Haliwell draped in a union Jack again is if she died in action!"
"Hundreds of people were seen fleeing Wolverhampton center. It wasnt raining, they saw a bus and saw it as a chance for a better life!"
"Leather cutlery; the ultimate luxury; or a duvet made from Ginsters pasties!! How about talking enchanted furniture that makes women stay?!" "Oh that goes with my idea of a talking penguin butler!"
Sort of dialogues:
Blaire: "Im snickering into the keyboard"
Me: "Whats SNICKERING? dont you mean sniggering?"
Blaire: "Oh yes...its like sniggering...with a snickers..."
[Discussing flooding and vessels]
Me: "I bet its WELL hard to get back into a barrel once youve fallen out..."
Jonny: "Yeah man. Have you tried? I havent..... why did i just say that?"