hell is arriving.
i feel i have no reason to live i wanna die i have it seems no friends.i cant go out with anyone without ppl thinking im a ho.i have only loved one person but i dont kno if it was worth it.i dont think SHAWN EVER LOVED ME IF HE DID THEN WHY DO I GET TREATED LIKE SHIT.I DONT EVEN DO ANYTHING HALF THE TIME BUT APPARENTLY I DO EVEN THOUGH I DONT.I PREFER IF PPL WOULDNT TALK SHIT ABOUT ME 2 SHAWN BECAUSE IT ONLY MAKES HIM HATE ME MORE.IM TRYING 2 GET LOVE BACK AND GO BACK 2 HEAVEN I WAS THERE BUT THEN 5 MONTHS AGO I FELL SLOWLY INTO HELL. SHAWN BROKE UP WITH ME TO BE WITH OTHER PPL .WELL AS YOU MAY KNO HE FUCKED ANOTHER GIRL AND MESSED AROUND AND SHIT. ME AND HIM STILL KINDA HUNG OUT BUT THE USUAL FIGHTING OVER STUPID SHIT.I WISH I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND ERASE EVERY BAD THING THAT I DID TO HIM.I MEAN THE REASON WHY MY LIFE IS HELL IS BECAUSE IM SOOO UNHAPPY BECUZ I KEEP HOLDING ON THE PAST AND HOPING I WILL ONCE HAVE HIM BACK IN MY LIFE. OBVIOUSLY IT'S NOT GOIGN 2 HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT I DO its just gonna come back and bite me in the ass.ppl tell me to move on,but i can't im not obessed or whipped and neither is he. Dont make him do anything he doesnt wanna do, dont tell me 2 get over him becuz i cant .if i do move on ill be considered a ho and id rather be unhappy then be a ho. all i want in life is to ba happy but i dont think that will ever be .the only person that makes me happy is shawn. he's the only thing that i felt i needed 2 live for because i thought he loved me and i had never loved sum1 the way i do 4 shawn and nobody has ever loved me i think? but i dunno i really dont kno what to do. i honestly have never been so confused in my life just last weekend everything was good and i knew what i wanted 2 be and how i wanted 2 spend my life.well alot can change now i think the easy way out would be 2 runaway or suicide.i dont wanna do either but honestly i want happiness but i doubt i can never be happy.if you can make me happy good luck trying.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS SHAWN!!!!!!
im sooo unhappy
love always fucking unhappy and depressed olivia?