forgive my thoughts
I cant shut out the thoughts in my head I wish they would go silent sometimes righting out stuff helps I sure hope this works……..
I just don’t want to exist but I am forced to live this shit I call life. It hurts and I cry often hoping the feeling will just go away but it creeps on me like a shadow in the night and eventually consumes me and I cant stop my random thoughts words or emotions.. I am a mess I am alone and I am sad as hell I wish there was some one who understands me but unfortunately the one I really love care for and desire to be with I pushed away. He knew exactly how to make me smile when I was sad made me laugh when I was crying and made me strong when I could feel the world beating down on me at every corner he knew me better then I knew myself and opened my eyes and mind to new worlds, words and thoughts.
But I can’t be with him because he broke my heart. I think of him every day in my life watching TV listening to a song so many things I don’t do now because they make me sad I want to do them with you I miss him and I will love him forever every man compares to him in my life and NO ONE can mach his wit and charm. I am captivated by him.
Ok everything wasn’t perfect but its how he made me feel inside. I had no self esteems he built me up and had no love he showed me to give chances and that I was worthy of love . I was alone and unwanted by most he taught me I am worth it and loved at least by him.
I so desperately want to feel special that again, I want to hear the words I LOVE you and I want some to care if I live or die….. I don’t matter any more except to j M and R. I really am holding off my death waiting for the relief to come one day when they aren’t around I’m tired of feeling like a freak for my emotions I don’t want this empty feeling I’m tired of the tears that I desperately try to hide. One day this will come to an end and mo wont make me feel like a freak for having them
.this is not about revenge or hurting some one I don’t want to hurt any one. just that I am hurting inside and thoughts in my head cant be shut sup no silence, ever I hear so many negative things in there I tired of the emptiness.
I’m tired of wanting what I can’t have the perfect man the happiness that I long for is not coming for me I keep looking for something else to help me but that I know will never come to me. All I can do is look at other people lives and wish I had that one I love with me and make it work. But you cant make a silk purse out of an old cow. I’m done I’m empty of hope all that are left are wishes dreams and a memory of a love I once had and lost.
Most of all Rob you are my missing link in life and till the day I give my last breathe I will love you…. Keep you in my heart and my one and only FOREVER
I just don’t want to exist but I am forced to live this shit I call life. It hurts and I cry often hoping the feeling will just go away but it creeps on me like a shadow in the night and eventually consumes me and I cant stop my random thoughts words or emotions.. I am a mess I am alone and I am sad as hell I wish there was some one who understands me but unfortunately the one I really love care for and desire to be with I pushed away. He knew exactly how to make me smile when I was sad made me laugh when I was crying and made me strong when I could feel the world beating down on me at every corner he knew me better then I knew myself and opened my eyes and mind to new worlds, words and thoughts.
But I can’t be with him because he broke my heart. I think of him every day in my life watching TV listening to a song so many things I don’t do now because they make me sad I want to do them with you I miss him and I will love him forever every man compares to him in my life and NO ONE can mach his wit and charm. I am captivated by him.
Ok everything wasn’t perfect but its how he made me feel inside. I had no self esteems he built me up and had no love he showed me to give chances and that I was worthy of love . I was alone and unwanted by most he taught me I am worth it and loved at least by him.
I so desperately want to feel special that again, I want to hear the words I LOVE you and I want some to care if I live or die….. I don’t matter any more except to j M and R. I really am holding off my death waiting for the relief to come one day when they aren’t around I’m tired of feeling like a freak for my emotions I don’t want this empty feeling I’m tired of the tears that I desperately try to hide. One day this will come to an end and mo wont make me feel like a freak for having them
.this is not about revenge or hurting some one I don’t want to hurt any one. just that I am hurting inside and thoughts in my head cant be shut sup no silence, ever I hear so many negative things in there I tired of the emptiness.
I’m tired of wanting what I can’t have the perfect man the happiness that I long for is not coming for me I keep looking for something else to help me but that I know will never come to me. All I can do is look at other people lives and wish I had that one I love with me and make it work. But you cant make a silk purse out of an old cow. I’m done I’m empty of hope all that are left are wishes dreams and a memory of a love I once had and lost.
Most of all Rob you are my missing link in life and till the day I give my last breathe I will love you…. Keep you in my heart and my one and only FOREVER