People Pleaser :)
I hate being a people pleaser... you try and do things to make other people happy and yet you still feel so empty and it seems like eventhough you're giving people what they want it's never enough. I really don't know what to do anymore, I'm not happy unless everyone else is happy, and it's pretty rare that everyone else is happy.. so I try to make everyone else happy in hopes of making me happy...it's vicious and endless cycle and it really really sucks. My mom complains about wanting her circular saw that my dad owe's her, so I meet up with my dad and we pick it up. Tonight I'm all excited to finally give her her saw and that way she can't complain any more. I come inside carrying the saw and guess what?!?!?!?!?! SHE FUCKIN BOUGHT ONE!!!!!!!!! So now I will still here shit about it b/c I guess we're supposed to take the saw back, but we can't take it back without the reciept which my dad has and we don't have a gift reciept. Now when she complains about it it will be about how he took too long. Sometimes I just feel sooo useless... or I feel like people don't really like me as much as they say or act... like they're all trying to spare my feelings or something and I'm just really annoying and no one wants to tell me. I hate being depressed I've been stuck in this fuckin rutt for long enough now! I don't want it to get colder and darker b/c that's exactly how my mood will get and i don't think I have money for tanning this year :( Why do I stress myself out so much and get so worked up over nothing? Why can't I just go with the flow of things like everyone else and accept life as it comes at me? AND WHY DO I ASK SO MANY FUCKIN QUESTIONS?!?!?!?!?! hahaha Well that's enought ranting, complaining, and whining for one week... I guess one good thing out of everything is I'll live through it and I still have my Matt :)