Facebook fear
Okay, so I just joined facebook and then unjoined within 10 mins. It scares the CRAP out of me!!!!!!
I intentionally avoided joining up until now because.. well I have this sort of instinctual, gut feel about leaving the past behind me and moving forward with my life.
It's almost like a superstition. It's an inner voice that screams 'NEVER LOOK BACK!!'...
I had a look on Rachel's friends page and came face to face with Jane Wallace, wife of James Wallace, the guy who dumped my ass after I got back to Melbourne when I was 20... for Jane.
I haven't thought about him, or her, for ages.. and this made me think of them.. which in my (maybe warped) book, means that I was meant to leave them behind for a reason. I don't want to see their pictures. Not that I still feel anything, I just think.. well perhaps I do feel *something*, old wounds heal but I guess it was a loss of innocence for me, a psychological process or rite of passage that is hard to think about. Hard to revisit, and that I believe shouldn't be revisted.
The years from 16-22 were so difficult and so tumultuous. I guess we all have our own unique successes and tragedies, and so many seem to be crammed into that period for me, and I'm sure it's the same for many others.
My Livejournal is so cosy and homely: everyone I have on my list I have for a reason and am glad to keep up with and look forward to reading about. I never have to worry, I never feel ambushed.
Gosh, this has me wondering.. am I psychologically damaged?! Everyone else seems to love Facebook and enjoy showing off to each other and posting flattering pictures of themselves, and hooking up with ye olde acquintances.. I just don't feel like I'm strong enough. I figure, as long as I can keep going, I'm fine =)
I intentionally avoided joining up until now because.. well I have this sort of instinctual, gut feel about leaving the past behind me and moving forward with my life.
It's almost like a superstition. It's an inner voice that screams 'NEVER LOOK BACK!!'...
I had a look on Rachel's friends page and came face to face with Jane Wallace, wife of James Wallace, the guy who dumped my ass after I got back to Melbourne when I was 20... for Jane.
I haven't thought about him, or her, for ages.. and this made me think of them.. which in my (maybe warped) book, means that I was meant to leave them behind for a reason. I don't want to see their pictures. Not that I still feel anything, I just think.. well perhaps I do feel *something*, old wounds heal but I guess it was a loss of innocence for me, a psychological process or rite of passage that is hard to think about. Hard to revisit, and that I believe shouldn't be revisted.
The years from 16-22 were so difficult and so tumultuous. I guess we all have our own unique successes and tragedies, and so many seem to be crammed into that period for me, and I'm sure it's the same for many others.
My Livejournal is so cosy and homely: everyone I have on my list I have for a reason and am glad to keep up with and look forward to reading about. I never have to worry, I never feel ambushed.
Gosh, this has me wondering.. am I psychologically damaged?! Everyone else seems to love Facebook and enjoy showing off to each other and posting flattering pictures of themselves, and hooking up with ye olde acquintances.. I just don't feel like I'm strong enough. I figure, as long as I can keep going, I'm fine =)