a very bad week gets worse
so at the beginning of my week, i spent a few days moving out of my apartment. no longer having to deal with that roommate situation is great... except I'm now in a downward spiral. Im living in a beautiful house on Clinton St, which I LOVE, but unfortunately the 4 other girls living there are immature, tense, and creating such a stressful environment that I cant even breathe. all my belongings are wrapped up and waiting to be moved to my next temporary situation. about 50% of my stuff isnt welcome in the basement Im sleeping in, so I packed my car with as much as I could and the rest is sitting on my bed surrounding the spot I actually sleep. I came home from work the other day and someone had gone through my stuff in the basement and took what they wanted into the living room. thanks for the respect ladies. last night I wanted a mutual friend to come hang for a little bit and I got straight up told that they cant come over. I find myself leaving at every chance I get. Im desperate to find a new place as soon as humanly possible, only now my options are even more narrow than they were before.
this morning i got fired... which is confusing because I wasnt an employee in the first place, and the reason i got fired can be summed up by the shop owner being a crazy drug addict on his latest rant. he goes back and forth in being a nice guy with false stability to a majorly moody antichrist. my job was to open the shop this morning, i stayed late last night to do all my opening chores and only have to fill the coffee in the morning. of course Alex had to pop into the shop before i got there and flipped a shit that "the opener" wasnt there yet. I arrived 5 minutes later. I got told by him a ton of shit that isnt true, and every time I opened my mouth to correct him, he would put up his hand and not let me speak. then he kept making me sit down so he could stand over me and talk down to my face. The part when I snapped was he ranted about my difficulty to communicate with him and i couldnt help but burst out that he wont give me a chance to ever fucking say anything. its hard to communicate to someone that doesnt listen. even when i do get a word in, he hears what I say and takes it as a personal attack then the lies start pouring out. he'll say anything to break me down, telling me that people have been complaining. supposedly Im also starting conflicts with everybody I work with. he tells me how I'm not needed, I dont clean as much as I claim. I told him that I felt taken advantage of by him specifically. I packed all my salon stuff and threw it in my car with the rest of my belongings. alex sent out a text message to everyone (including me) proclaiming me banned from the shop. now Im just waiting for someone to break into my car as punishment for keeping my stuff in there and completing my week of hell.
I've been loitering in the tatt shop next door using the free wi-fi and avoiding going to see my mom. i already regret calling her crying earlier and promising to drive out there. my parents know I've been going through a really hard time trying to keep my lifestyle and now this only gives them reason for a lecture. i already know that they're going to try and talk me into moving home, or better yet into moving with them to california. theres no way. first my mom is going to tell me how i need to get a new job (duh) and its going to piss me off because i hate when my parents tell me shit that I already know. Im aware of whats going on and im already stressing in my head over what I need to do. so far, i know what I dont want.... and thats it. And as much as i would like to be saved, i know that only I can save myself. If I get in the mindset that I can meet somebody who will save me, things will only get worse and I will be hopeless. I can do this myself i promise i promise i promise.
this morning i got fired... which is confusing because I wasnt an employee in the first place, and the reason i got fired can be summed up by the shop owner being a crazy drug addict on his latest rant. he goes back and forth in being a nice guy with false stability to a majorly moody antichrist. my job was to open the shop this morning, i stayed late last night to do all my opening chores and only have to fill the coffee in the morning. of course Alex had to pop into the shop before i got there and flipped a shit that "the opener" wasnt there yet. I arrived 5 minutes later. I got told by him a ton of shit that isnt true, and every time I opened my mouth to correct him, he would put up his hand and not let me speak. then he kept making me sit down so he could stand over me and talk down to my face. The part when I snapped was he ranted about my difficulty to communicate with him and i couldnt help but burst out that he wont give me a chance to ever fucking say anything. its hard to communicate to someone that doesnt listen. even when i do get a word in, he hears what I say and takes it as a personal attack then the lies start pouring out. he'll say anything to break me down, telling me that people have been complaining. supposedly Im also starting conflicts with everybody I work with. he tells me how I'm not needed, I dont clean as much as I claim. I told him that I felt taken advantage of by him specifically. I packed all my salon stuff and threw it in my car with the rest of my belongings. alex sent out a text message to everyone (including me) proclaiming me banned from the shop. now Im just waiting for someone to break into my car as punishment for keeping my stuff in there and completing my week of hell.
I've been loitering in the tatt shop next door using the free wi-fi and avoiding going to see my mom. i already regret calling her crying earlier and promising to drive out there. my parents know I've been going through a really hard time trying to keep my lifestyle and now this only gives them reason for a lecture. i already know that they're going to try and talk me into moving home, or better yet into moving with them to california. theres no way. first my mom is going to tell me how i need to get a new job (duh) and its going to piss me off because i hate when my parents tell me shit that I already know. Im aware of whats going on and im already stressing in my head over what I need to do. so far, i know what I dont want.... and thats it. And as much as i would like to be saved, i know that only I can save myself. If I get in the mindset that I can meet somebody who will save me, things will only get worse and I will be hopeless. I can do this myself i promise i promise i promise.