a heavy blow
well i'm about to be out, i say it in that sense cause that's what is it, not that the doing something really matters to me, jsut the being somewhere else, to tell you the truth i see a lot of people who love the feeling of being out, it just entails thats somethings discomforting about myself with ym situation, it's jsut a symptom that something's wrong
my dad came home today to impliment a new plan to make sure i do deappeciate the value of his wrecked ass van, it's so hard to get through a thick head, specially with the one who's entitled to call the shots, but that's the very point, they're using that ability to call hurtful ones
i told my mom i was skeptical about moving in here, she was hurt and relized her mistake at the time, i'm starting to think i sympathized too much, i said something to myself while i was outside front smoking off the steam, it was along the lines of how involvement with the two was always a bad idea and only a product of cheap sympathy, i don't know if there was anything wrong in that statement
there's something about members of my family, they're always open for favors, at least at first, then they just go on power trips and the favor ends up costing you more than it helps, it's just a bad investment, that's what my family is, a bad investment, specially for something like genetics which start depreciate in value the second you're born, i wonder if i really do have enough in common with them, or if i'm just playing out an old mannerism, one that it would do me good to cut the cord
i think i accpeted today how they won't every really accept to understand this lifestyle, that you can have something more than a job and the ways to spend that excess of money, that you can go somewhere besides a store of infront of screen, that doing can be more than just adding to a collection, they're too deep in that trade
shit i said, i hate repeating that word, cause it means i gotta deal with something, and not in the tolerating kind of way, but in taking care of way
oh well, the worst is i paid over a hundred bucks at a hotel's worth stay, a few weeks knocked off, it wouldn't matter so much if i had stayed in hotel, at least there they don't try to make you their bitch, if you got a plan that seems to not matter as much, if you got a plan it seems you got the time in front of you, it's just a waste
maybe i got learn a new word, like 'ok', oh well i'll sit on it, pop a pill or two, just chill, just push it off for a night, some people say that's weak, i think it's wise, not smart, just wise
shit
my dad came home today to impliment a new plan to make sure i do deappeciate the value of his wrecked ass van, it's so hard to get through a thick head, specially with the one who's entitled to call the shots, but that's the very point, they're using that ability to call hurtful ones
i told my mom i was skeptical about moving in here, she was hurt and relized her mistake at the time, i'm starting to think i sympathized too much, i said something to myself while i was outside front smoking off the steam, it was along the lines of how involvement with the two was always a bad idea and only a product of cheap sympathy, i don't know if there was anything wrong in that statement
there's something about members of my family, they're always open for favors, at least at first, then they just go on power trips and the favor ends up costing you more than it helps, it's just a bad investment, that's what my family is, a bad investment, specially for something like genetics which start depreciate in value the second you're born, i wonder if i really do have enough in common with them, or if i'm just playing out an old mannerism, one that it would do me good to cut the cord
i think i accpeted today how they won't every really accept to understand this lifestyle, that you can have something more than a job and the ways to spend that excess of money, that you can go somewhere besides a store of infront of screen, that doing can be more than just adding to a collection, they're too deep in that trade
shit i said, i hate repeating that word, cause it means i gotta deal with something, and not in the tolerating kind of way, but in taking care of way
oh well, the worst is i paid over a hundred bucks at a hotel's worth stay, a few weeks knocked off, it wouldn't matter so much if i had stayed in hotel, at least there they don't try to make you their bitch, if you got a plan that seems to not matter as much, if you got a plan it seems you got the time in front of you, it's just a waste
maybe i got learn a new word, like 'ok', oh well i'll sit on it, pop a pill or two, just chill, just push it off for a night, some people say that's weak, i think it's wise, not smart, just wise
shit