[crossover fics: pick me, pick me]: betteronvicodin

savemoony in betteronvicodin

[crossover fics: pick me, pick me]

May 11, 2007 11:39

Holy Batman!

You, ladies and gents, rock. We have 401 prompts for the taking; ranging from House/Cameron to Chase/Cuddy to Wilson/Foreman, dating from five billion BC to five billion AD, and playing nice with others such as Severus Snape, The Doctor, and God! The LOLz factor is beyond hardcore (so hardcore we have to split them into three posts), and the madness is only just starting: now it's time to claim these puppies and work some ironic magic.

Crossovers:

[AUTHOR'S CHOICE] Who comes to House's real poker night?

arfwoogah

[30 Rock/House] because I'd so love to see House go up againt Jack Donaghy

[100 Years of Solitude/House] House meets 100 Years of Solitude.

modernsaints

[300/House] THIS... IS... PRINCE-TON. 'Nuff Said. Bogus points if you used Von Liberman. Double Bogus Points if you are ANYHOW 'historically' accurate.

drunken_hedhog

[Anchorman/House] House and the crew are a rival news team and they have to battle it out.

[Alias/House] Jack Bristow is dying! He needs House to figure out Rambaldi's curse! HouseJack. JackSloane.

[Alice in Wonderland/House] Because mushrooms are extremely symbolic in any universe.

radiobroadcast

[American Chopper/House] House gets his dream bike built. Whose behind it all?

[American Gods/House] No guidelines. Just go with it.

[American Idol/House] Which member of the staff is a secret singer?

[American Idol/House] Somebody at the Fox network had the bright idea to auction off the host and judge positions on American Idol for one night. Suddenly Simon doesn't seem like such a meanie.

[Anansi Boys/House] Foreman is a descendant of Anansi, but he's really bad at it.

[Animorphs/House] GASP! The team is puzzled when the MRI of a comatose Patient of the Week reveals a strange, sluglike creature inside the patient's brain. And what is with the strange group of five teenagers hanging around the hospital all of the sudden? What can the Animorphs do about the Yeerk Pool entrance in the supply closet by the clinic? Just how far will House's team's involvement become? (Don't hesitate to turn team members into Controllers! Oh, and bonus points for House/Wilson and Rachel/Tobias.)

[Arrested Development/House] Summary: house is a doctor. tobias was a doctor. u can see where this is going, right? lol.

[Arthurian Legends/House] King Arthor Lengends. House and Wilson are Knights of the Roundtable. They do knight-ly stuff. (House/Wilson)

[Avenue Q/House] Wilson meets Rod and they discuss living in the closet. Must be in Avenue Q format, i.e. very little dialogue, lots of song(s) (can be one song or several) (I'd like to claim this one for House/Wilson if I'm allowed to claim my own prompt)

[Babylon 5/House]The year is 2258 (or 2259-2262 - it doesn't really matter which year). The name of the place is Babylon 5. Dr. House runs the station's MedLab instead of Dr. Franklin. Hijinx (WITH TENTACLES, OMG!) ensue!

[Batman Canon/House] House really hates Batman. Especially at 3:00 AM on his day off.

halotolerant

[Blackadder 1/House] The not funny and Hugh Laurie free Blackadder is in for a real surprise when the evil Prince Greg and his loyal but conniving sidekick Wilson arrive in the kingdom.

petrichor_fizz

[Boston Legal/House] Denny Crane gets shipped out to PPTH because no one can figure out what's wrong with him. House and Denny plot world domination. Shirley and Cuddy bond over incompetent geniuses. Alan Shore has sexual chemistry with everyone.

[Boston Legal/House] Alan Shore and Wilson bond over scotch, sarcasm and impossible best friends.

[Boston Legal/House] House is totally guilty and totally fucked. That's why Wilson calls in his old buddy from Boston, Alan Shore. Alan (and Denny Crane, obviously) agree to represent House. Hilarity (and meta, please, lord, meta) amuck: Alan/Denny, Wilson/House, Alan & Wilson awesomeness, Star Trek jokes, chasing Cuddy's skirt, and it *must* end with a balcony, scotch, and cigar scene.

[Buffyverse/House] Instead of going into the seminary, Chase was actually at watcher!school.

awwsugah

[Buffyverse/House] You know the drill: everyone becomes their costumes. (Why the hell haven't we seen Halloween at PPTH, anyway?)

[Buffyverse/House] Go nuts, but must have House/Wilson AND Buffy/Spike/Angel

[Buffyverse/House] Through a bizarre series of patients and coincidences, House gets turned into a puppet, like Angel was in "Smile Time." Bonus points if you have House bang a foam cane on a desk while yelling, "OF COURSE I'M MADE OF FOAM!" or the phrase "wee little puppet man." (Who is at the perfect height to be really rude with his foam cane.)

[Calvin & Hobbes/House] House is Calvin all grown up. Side bonus AU: Wilson might or might not be imaginary.

[Casanova/House] House meets Casanova

[Clue/House] The house staff are the clue people (Cameron:Miss. Scarlet, Wilson: Plum, House:Mustard, Foreman: Green, Cuddy: peacock, Chase Mr. (or Ms.) White) and someone whas murderd David Shore. Let the funn ensue. (writer must make it somewhat belivable)

[The Colbert Report/House] Only one doctor is badass enough to cure Stephen Colbert: Dr. Gregory House. Too bad House and Wilson are very out and about. How will Stephen deal? Or will their relationship force him to confront his own feels for Jon!?! [Note: Stephen Colbert refers to the fictional character, not the actor that portrays him.]

toolazytowork

[The Colbert Report/Jon Stewart/House] House meets The Daily Show / The Colbert Report fandom.

[Cosby Show/House] - Forman marries one of the Cosby daughters.

[Coupling {UK}/House] Wilson can't get rid of his latest girlfriend, Jane. He enlists House's help.

[CSI:NY/House] Chase awakens to find a dead hooker in bed with him in a cheap New York hotel. Stella, Danny, and Flack are on scene.

[Dead Like Me/House] Cameron dies in a freak centrifuge accident and becomes a Reaper.

[Dead Like Me/House] Someone in the hospital is a reaper and has to reap Cuddy's life.

[Dead Poets Society/House] There's a mystery illness going round Welton Academy and House et al have to figure out how to stop it. Bonus points for Wilson comforting Neil Perry.

[The Departed/House] Wilson was doing more in Boston than taking out Bonnie. He was forming connections with Irish mob, in particular one man named Costello. Years later, House discovers Wilson's in trouble as the drama with Billy and Colin gets underway and must track down Dignam and Queenam to get Wilson out of danger. But what if Wilson doesn't want to go?

[Doctor Finlay/House] Dr. Alexander Cameron calls his niece up from America to visit, saying she can bring anyone or no one she wants. She arrives just in time for a medical mystery...

[Doctor Who/House] Cybermen are taking over the world and [character A] is in danger of being turned into one. Can House and the Doctor save them?

[Doctor Who/House] The Fourth Doctor hung out with his Great-Uncle Harrison, so Ten comes back to check up on Robert Chase and see what's up.

[Doctor Who/House] When even the Doctor can't solve something, he always comes back to House.

[Doctor Who/House] Ten brings Cameron on board the TARDIS.

[Doctor Who/House] The Daleks invade PPTH. Bad Things result.

faynia

[Doctor Who/House] After crashing House and Wilson's honeymoon, the Doctor and [Martha, Jack, or Rose] offer to make it up to them. They take them back to Hellenic Athens, 5th Century, where House picks a fight with Socrates... Eee! Can The Doctor stop House from fucking up all of Western History!

[Dogma/House] The Metatron is retiring and it looks like Wilson is about to become his trainee.

[Donnie Darko/House] House meets Donnie Darko.

[Dilbert/House] Hector is actually Dogbert in hiding. How does House react when the dog not only starts talking to him, but has really good ideas? (Bonus points if you make Steve McQueen Ratbert.)

[Due South/House] Constable Benton Fraser is terrible ill. Will House be able to solve the puzzle of the sick mountie, and will Fraser, with his own unique observational skills, be able to help save his own life?

[Evangelion/House] Who is more pissed off at the world: Gregory House or Shinji Ikari? Who will win the bitchfest between Cameron and Asuka? And how the heck is House going to figure out what's wrong with Unit-00 this time?

[Fables/House] Cuddy's latest blind date is really charming. Actually, he's Prince Charming.

[The Family Guy/House] House and Wilson adopt Stewie Griffin (and Brian tags along). Bonus points if it's from Stewie's POV. Gold Star if House and Stewie try to kill each other! LOLZ! Child Abuse, FTW.

[Farscape/House] John Crichton wakes up, once again, to find himself on Earth (always debatable in this fandom) as House's newest POTW.

[Fight Club/House] Chase joins the local chapter and runs into someone he knows. (Extra crossovers are encouraged.)

[Flight of the Navigator/House] David wasn't the first boy that Max had asked to help him.

[Forrest Gump/House] Forrest Gump comes into the clinic one day and starts with his platitudes. House gapes accordingly.

[Fresh Prince of Bel Air/House] The team take a vacation in California and Foreman takes the opportunity to go visit his cousins Will and Carlton. Uncle Phil gets taken ill and the team face a race against time to save him, obviously. Bonus points for getting Carlton laid (with a houseian of your choice).

[Futurama/House] OMFGZ, House/Futurama - totally genius. y/y?

[Gilmore Girls/House] House gets an application from a very pushy resident- Paris Gellman.

[Golden Girls/House] House and Sophia make grown men cry. Foreman finds Dorothy unusually attractive.

[Gone With The Wind/House] House & Co. travel back in time into Margaret Mitchell's Gone With The Wind. Who thinks Wilson and Rhett Butler would get on well?

[Grey's Anatomy/House] It starts off with House bitchslapping Meredith. Then McDreamy bitchslaps House. Then Wilson bitchslaps McDreamy (teeee). And then... IT'S WAR. SERIOUSLY? Srsly!

[Grey's Anatomy/Scrubs/House] House, Cox, and Bailey all team up to try to take over the world.

[Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy/House] Grim becomes Foreman and Chase's new BFF for LIFE.

[Harold and Kumar/Houise] House and Wilson join Harold and Kumar on their new quest: ???

[Harry Potter/House] Cameron ships Harry/Hermione. Chase ships Ron/Hermione. Foreman ships Harry/Luna. Wilson ships Harry/Draco. Cuddy ships Draco/Hermione. There's a ship war. House watches, eats popcorn and is amused.

savemoony

[Harry Potter/House] House is a Wizard, who knew? Wilson, obviously, but what about that greasy-haired man he keeps on having clandestine meetings with?

anamatics

[Harry Potter/House] OGOMGMOGOMGOMG HOUSE/SNAPE R OTPEVA!!!!!!! How will Wilson react to be dumped!?

[Harvey/House] Elwood P. Dowd comes to PPTH (with Harvey in tow) and the team has to treat him.

[Heroes/House] Once upon a time, House met up with an invisible man who hated people almost as much as he did.

[Heroes/House] Ando & Hiro try to out *AWESOME* Wilson & House. Bonus Points if House and Wilson have powers. Fresh-Baked Cookies for CHOCOLATELY GOODNESS.

[High School Musical/House] - House has twins!! And they are Ryan and Sharpay from High School Musical! What happens when they go to their daddy for help because they want to beat Troy and Gabriella in the auditions? Will House teach his kids some awesome dance moves? And will Sharpay and Cameron/Ryan and Wilson become BFF?

[Hocus Pocus/House] Billy stumbles his way into PPTH's free clinic and House tries to cure him of his zombie-ness. Meanwhile, Wilson adopts Binx the Cat and then discovers he can talk! All the while the three Sanderson sisters are flying about causing mayhem (and hitting on the fellows). What is going on? This is the strangest Hallowe'en PPTH has seen yet.

[I Love Lucy/House] House and Wilson because Lucy and Ethel from I Love Lucy. What scheme are they cooking up this time? What will Ricky say? Will they ever get back to their normal, male lives?

[Invader Zim/House] When an unconscious schoolchild is brought in in a vague "motor vehicle accident," House notices he's green. And has no ears. And no human organs. Play to the Zim 'verse logic where no one else sees anything wrong with this.

[Jackass/House] The patient of the week is none other than daredevil Johnny Knoxville. The rest of the Jackass troupe quickly follows.

[Jeeves & Wooster/House] House is actually Bertie Wooster... reincarnated? What will Jeeves say? What will Wilson say? More importantly, when did Bertie get that smart? Classic Wodehouse hijinks ensue.

[Jeeves & Wooster/House] House and Bertie go to the races.

[Knight Rider/House] Michael Knight and KITT both come down with a mystery illness. The key to saving Michael lies in figuring out what's wrong with the car. Bonus points if The Hoff gets through the fic without having sex with Cameron or Cuddy.

[Labyrinth/House] House and company find themselves stuck in Jareth's Labyrinth trying to get Steve McQueen back from the evil clutches of the Goblin King

[Law and Order Criminal Intent/House] What happens when House meets Goren?

[Life Aquatic/House] House and Character A decided to join Steve Zissou on his latest expedition.

[Lost/House] The team are flying to a conference, but the plane crashes!1!!!1! What happens when they land on a mysterious island and meet Jack, Kate and co.?

[MASH/House] Liek, ZOMG, Dr. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce comes to PPTH to speak and, liek, totally meets Dr. House! Because that would be sooo awesome! House/M*A*S*H goodness, yayee! (Varations: Please state whether it's Alan Alda's Hawkeye, Donald Sutherland's Hawkeye, or Book!Hawkeye.)

petrichor_fizz

[Mary Poppins/House] Troublesome little Gregory has a new nanny who's practically perfect in every way.

[Men In Black /House] House gets a call from a secret government agency that doesn't exist, yet its agents are in his office asking for his help...

[Mighty Morphing Power Rangers/House] The team are Power Rangers. (Bonus Points if Wilson is the pink one.)

windout

[Monk/House] There's been a murder in the hospital (none of the super 6, plz!) and Cuddy has hired the best detective around, Adrain Monk. The OCDC officer and the snarky doc traumatize and torture eachother. Bonus points if you can get Natalie and Chase to date.

[Monsters, Inc./House] Randall Boggs shows up - House finds him hiding in a supply closet, trying to scare a young patient.

[Monty Python/House] Monty Python meets House. 'nuff said. Cameo by Jeeves and Wooster?

[Moonlighting/House] Maddie and David go to investigate the gang at PPTH because one of House's former bring a civil suit for damages.

[Muppets/House] Gonzo is the newest patient for Diagnostic. House tries to figure out wtf is up with his nose. And why he is blue.

[Mythbusters/House] Dr. Cuddy is always looking for donations, so when the Mythbusters offer a big sum to the hospital if Adam and Jamie are allowed to test some theories at PPTH, she can't say no, can she?

karoakegal

[Nancy Drew/House] House meets Nancy Drew.

[OC/House] Team are called in to save marissa from the dying and so she doesn't die but OMG seth and ryan want to keep their gay love now! Can House/Wilson advise them?

[Oz/House] House & Co. are transported to the Oswald State Correctional Facility.

[The Office (US)/House] One of Dunder-Mifflin's offensively-watermarked shipments of paper makes it to PPTH! Michael, Jim, Karen and Dwight go to Princeton and cause havoc in the hospital. Bonus points if Karen is jealous of Cameron. Extra bonus points if they end up having "girl talk" in a completely pointless chapter.

sewingrose

[Once Upon A Mattress/House] Interpret it any way you want, but I want Wilson to be Dauntless, mkay? Or not if you don't want it...bonus points for House/Wilson, but it's not necessary.

[Peanuts/House] House does A Charlie Brown Christmas. See this video for reference.

[Phantom of the Opera/House] House as the Phantom, Cameron as Christine, Chase as Raoul, etc. Extra points for song-spoofing. (OR: because I got yelled at *SOMEONE* *coughs mystictwilight* Wilson as Christine... or maybe Cuddy! BECAUSE SHIPPING WARS MUST NEVER DIE)

[Pinky and the Brain/House] House&Wilson also try to take over the world every night.

maddoggirl

[Pinky and the Brain/House] Steve McQueen is pissed at his rivals Pinky and the Brain. He plots revenge.

[Pirates of the Caribbean/House] House does Pirates of the Caribbean. (Hell, just the House cast as pirates would be awesome.)

[Pirates of the Caribbean/House] Go nuts, but must have House/Wilson AND Jack/Elizabeth/Will, MUAHAHAHA

[The Princess Bride/House] The current Dread Pirate Roberts refuses to pick one of his three first mates as his successor despite his peg leg.

[Prison Break/House] Cuddy didn't lie to save House, so he gets send to Prison. There he meets Michael, Lincoln AND T-Bag. They decide to have a contest to find out who's smarter, Michael or House. Sara thinks Michael has fallen in love with House and get PISSED.

[Quantum Leap/House] Sam leaps into Wilson to prevent Wilson's fourth marriage from taking place, but House is starting to suspect something is up. What do Al and Ziggy have to say about this?

toolazytowork

[Ranma 1/2/House] House orders a sample variety pack of "Instant" spring packet. (If it's an "instant" spring, the effect only works once.) Most apocalyptic April Fool's ever.

[Real Ghostbusters/House] One of the Ghostbusters is somehow related to PPTH. Which might not be important, until they need House to diagnose Slimer.

[Robin Hood/House] House and his gang ended up in Sherwood Forest and Tritter is the Sheriff's right hand man.

[Rocko's Modern Life (The Musical)/House] There's more than one wallaby in town. But neither of them know the words!

[Sabrina the Teenage Witch/House] House is a warlock. Sabrina shows up... WITH SALEM!!!

[Sailor Moon/House] AU!LOlZ! House, Wilson, Foreman, and Chase are Sailor Starlights! (Or, if you want to be technical, 3 or the 4 are!) {*and I swear to God, people, if one of you doesn't write this, then this whole thing wasn't worth it*}

[The Sandman/House] No guidelines. Can include as many of the Endless as you want.

hobsonphile

[Schindler's List/House] House works with Schindler to save a certain Jew. Who is Wilson. If you didn't catch that.

bluetooth16

[Sesame Street/House] Cookie Monster is going on vacation, and House takes over while he's away.

lifebecomesart

[Seinfeld/House] George has some performance issues, and Kramer has something stuck up his ass. Bonus points if risotto is mentioned.

[Series of Unfortunate Events/House] House is the Baudelaire Orphans' latest guardian. Will he protect them from Count Olaf, or side with the villian?

bluetooth16

[Shameless/House] There's a mystery illness called Chavitis going round the Chatsworth Estate in Manchester and, oh look, House and his team happen to all be on a medical junket/conference in that very city. Bonus points if one of the ducklings catches Chavitis and ends up in trackies, trainers and burberry.

[Sherlock Holmes/House] A mirrors' house, a carnival, fog out of nowhere, a ripping in time and space. As a child, one of the future PPTH's doctors meet the great detective and/or his friend in circumstances that can't be easily explained.

earlwyn

[Sherlock Holmes/House] Watson or Wilson's POV. House and Wilson arrive at 221B Baker Street to find two men, strangely like them, claiming they own the property. Cue the Legal hilarity, Victorian antics, and a Showdown of Doom. BTW, House and Wilson are *totally have sex*.

[Sherlock Holmes/House] house is like so totally actually sherlock holmes and wilson is like watson! How clever am i to have noticed that! But now sherlock holmes and his lovah dr watson have travelled through time and meet their matches!

[Sherlock Holmes/House] Watson thinks House is Teh Hot, and Holmes is JEALOUS.

queenzulu

[Sky High/House] When Ron Wilson can't drive the bus for a week, he calls his cousin Dr. Jimmy for some help.

[Smallville/House] clark is in an accident with green kryptonite and house is determined to diagnose it. Then Lex shows up jealous and sleeps with

[Sopranos/House] Maybe getting in good with the Arniellos wasn't such a good idea?

[South Park/House] Can the team save Kenny? Will Cartman seduce Cameron? Does Kyle find out that his real father is actually Wilson?

chibi_wiggy

[Star Trek (original series)/House] An unconscious man is brought into PPTH. Cuddy makes House take the case because the man bleeds green and has deformed ears...

[Star Wars/House] So I was liek, omgz, why has no one crossed House with Star Wars yet? it would be teh hotness!

babykid528

[Star Wars/House] Chase is Luke Skywalker. Wilson is Ben "Obi-Wan" Kenobi. Cameron is Princess Leia. House is Hans Solo. Foreman is Chewy (or Lando Calrissian). Cuddy is Jabba the Hutt. Vogler is Vader. Tritter is The Emperor.

babykid528

[SGA/House] Rodney McKay knew House in college, and now they have to team up to save Atlantis from a horrible plague! Will they finally admit their true feelings for each other?

[SGA/House] Carson Beckett dies in an absurd space incident, and they need a new doctor on board. However, the best doctor they can find-- one Gregory House-- refuses to go to an alternate universe without his best friend and his fellows!

radiobroadcast

[Static Shock/House] House has secret electrical powers or a giant... intellect (wait, that's canon). Wilson is the other one. Either that or Virgil and Richie wind up at the hospital.

[Taco Bell/House] Hector is a pseudonym for the Taco Bell chihuahua. He drives House insane by repeating "yo quiero Taco Bell" 500000000000 times an hour instead of barking.

[TS Eliot/House] House in Eliot's The Waste Land. HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME

earlwyn

[The Tell-Tale Heart/House] There it is. Always in the background. Beating.

[That's So Raven!/House] The whole House gang find themselves in a real pickle when Raven stops by PPTH and has a vision that Cameron and Cuddy are going to get married! Hijinx and optional (but hilarious!) cross-dressing ensue!

[Torchwood/House] Captain Jack, Gregory House, James Wilson. X Rated. Nuff Said.

[Torchwood/House] House doesn't save Ianto in time. How does Jack react? House/Jack, NC17, Angry!sex, NonCon (Wilson watches).

[Torchwood/House] The rift has spread to PPTH! As House and the ducklings try to cure all the sick aliens popping up, Jack and his team swoop in to save the world. And who is Jack sleeping with now? Or should that have said, who isn't Jack sleeping with?

[TWOP/House] The team reads Ask Ausiello/Watch With Kristin/whatever. Feel free to make up foilers for all their favourite shows and have them comment it.

[Ugly Betty/House] Mode magazine is writing a story on sexy doctors, and who better to feature than the hottest diagnostics department ever? In the process, random ships are created up the wazoo. ^_^

[Velvet Goldmine/House] Curt Wilde is the newest PotW and hits it off phemonenally well with both Cameron and Chase. (threesome)

[Venture Brothers/House] Dr. House (along with Wilson and Cuddy) and Dr. Venture (along with The Monarch and Brock) have to team up when the Ducklings and the Venture Brothers when they turn into children mysteriously. Other characters may somehow show up (like Tritter or Dr. Girlfriend). Extra points if Tritter and Dr. Girlfriend are dating.

savemoony

[View Askew Verse/House] A weed dealer and his hetero lifemate walk into a hospital...

[West West/House] Guess who patched up our gunshot victims and announced time of death for our biggest political gurus? That's right...

[Where... Cameron San Diego/House] House is actually one of the bad guys on the game show Where in the World Is Cameron San Diego?

[Wicked/House] House is green. Wilson's name is Wil(e)son... You see where this going? What is that Feeling? (I don't think it's loathing!)

[Wicked/House] House is the misunderstood Witch of the West, who turns Foreman into the Tinman, Chase into the Cowardly Lion, and Wilson into the Scarecrow. The three ex-wives = G(a)linda. Cuddy = the Wizard of Oz. Cameron = Dorothy. Nurse Brenda = Morrible. Feel free to switch roles around because I pulled these out of my ass.

[Witness (the movie)/House] House sees something bad go down and has to hide with the Amish.

[The X-Files/House] Bonus points if Mulder uses the word "numinous".

[The X-Files/House] Summary: Wilson treats a patient!!! But it's Cancerman from x-files!!!! I suck at summaries. plz read and review!

[The X-Files/House] Scully and Cuddy get it on. Again. And again. House and Mulder meet up to discuss the madness of their lives.

[X-Men/House] Wolverine vs. House. Who will win?

[Xena: Warrior Princess/House] so it turns out that house and wilson are xena and gabrielle (either way round) in their current reincarnation and are soulmates and lesbians. What to do?

[Xenosaga/House] A mysteriously ill young girl named Sakura Mizrahi is brought in to PPTH. As the ducklings begin treating her for lupus, they begin to uncover disturbing data that proves she may be hiding something sinister. Meanwhile, the URTVs all have a crush on Cameron. Please completely ignore the fact that the two canons take place in completely different times.

modpost