COMMENTARY: Keep Your Clothes On

[juniperlane]

Title: Keep Your Clothes On (The Commentary Version!)
Author: Meg / juniperlane / betternovembers
Spoilers: Nope, none.
Rating/Warnings: NC-17
Word Count: 2961
Disclaimer: TBBT does not belong to me, nor do the other unfortunate actors that got dragged into this.
Notes: Written for the Paradox Holiday Swap, for ammorgan21. Beta by dashakay. Title is from The Avett Brother's "Laundry Room

Comments

[dashakay]

I have way more comments. Like WAY more, but before I forgot I had to say:

there is more oral sex performed on Penny in fic than BJs for Sheldon

Which kind of makes sense since 99.9% of fic is written by the ladies, but really DOESN'T make sense when you consider Sheldon's squeamishness about germs and bacteria and whatnot. (Not to say that ladybits are dirty and nasty. I'm a big fan of ladybits, myself.)

[dashakay]

Oh, and one more thing?

WHO IS GONNA WRITE S/P 69 FIC FOR ME? WHO WHO WHO?

[juniperlane]

But oddly enough from (again, general observations, not anything specific or scientific in the SLIGHTEST) what I can tell, there might be a weirdness factor for ladies writing oral sex on ladies since it involves ladybits? Maybe BBT is different, but from the other fandoms I have been in, I remember a LOT more blow jobs on male characters. (Granted, I have also been pretty heavily involved in other slash pairings in previous fandoms, so my knowledge of het ships in, oh, say, Harry Potter are a little lacking, I suppose

[dashakay]

That's interesting about the different fandoms. I've always been in fandoms that are het and femslash centered and the breakdowns of oral sex seem to be mostly equal in the het pairings in those fandoms (XF and BSG).

I think the germ-thing is something you have to at least consider as you are writing?

Absolutely. In the one fic I've written where Sheldon goes down on Penny, she states that due to the germ thing she showered down like Meryl Streep in Silkwood.

a general trend of making Sheldon awesome at sex

I'm totally guilty of that one. But I actually like it when he's not particularly awesome at it. At least at first. Fumbling and awkward can be totally hot. Just look at allthingsholy's latest. askdlakajasf, mothafuckas.

And while we're talking about BBT smut tropes, BBT is definitely the only fandom I've ever been in where it seems like 98% of all fic has the woman on top the first time there's intercourse. Which is actually pretty realistic, given Sheldon's inexperience, but not very realistic in real world terms, in my experience.

[allthingsholy]

Oh, you. But I do agree about needing more BJ's all around.

Then again I just really want Sheldon to cream his pants, like, ALL THE TIME.

[dashakay]

YES. THIS MUST HAPPEN.

[allthingsholy]

You already know all my thoughts and feelings on this situation, and deepest desires of my heart.

[dashakay]

I tattooed it on my arm so I'd never forget.

[allthingsholy]

I don't know about you guys, but I've had some loltastic sex. And the ability to have loltastic sex with someone I love and care about and trust is, to me, no less intimate or wonderful than steamy and hot sex.

So I guess my point is: we have a tendency to romanticize S/P's relationship (of course we do) and I've been guilty of the "first time is wonderful" thing myself, but I think awkward and fumbling is just as if not more sweet than mind-blowing and earth-shaking.

[dashakay]

YES. I'd like to see more funny shit happen during S/P sex. Like whacking your head, or the infamous "fart noises" (which would freak Sheldon out), or the bed breaking, or... My brain isn't being very creative right now.

Actually, I can think of something really loltastic that happened to me once, but it's best saved for private conversation. ;)

[allthingsholy]

I was once interrupted by a very persistent Labradoodle, and that's all I will say on the matter.

[dashakay]

LOLOLOL.

One time I looked over and there were two very intent cats staring at us. Kind of killed the mood for me.

[juniperlane]

I'm trying to think of all the different Buffy stuff I used to read, and maybe that was fairly evenly broken down? Man, it's been awhile. This was more a general vibe I got from over the years, but then again, it's probably really only relevant to my own fandom history.

At least at first. Fumbling and awkward can be totally hot.

Yes, definitely. allthingsholy's new bandfic wins at this, as does the Dan Savage fic from the kinkmeme.

98% of all fic has the woman on top the first time there's intercourse.

I'm definitely guilty of writing this. Haha. Maybe this is mostly related to Penny being a little more dominant? (Notice my avoidance of the term "big ol' 5.") I don't think that's realistic at all, in real world terms, but even if Sheldon were to top the first time? It would still be Penny topping from the bottom, I think.

[dashakay]

Oh, definitely she'd be topping from the bottom. It's her being more dominant/taking the lead/being a big ol' 5 (a term I will NEVER use in fic) and Sheldon being inexperienced (and often a virgin) that leads to Penny being on top the first time, I think.

[allthingsholy]

There was a kink meme prompt for experienced Sheldon and virgin Penny that never got filled, but someone wrote it for h-h? Am I making that up? For some reason, I think it was your request, Dash, y/n?

Now I want to write S/P and really bad sex. Which is weird considering the show used L/P bad sex as a definite negative when it could've still been really sweet? I don't know. All I can think of right now is "A Chorus Line" and "MILKY DISCHARGE?! GONORRHEA!"

[dashakay]

No, even better--ishie's writing it for me as a Lightning Round fic. AND I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT.

Please write the bad sex. PLEASE. I BEG YOU.