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Jan 19, 2006 21:11

do this:

Post a story, a secret, a confession, a threat, a fear, a love - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post as many times as you'd like, and then put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say. Thanks.

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anonymous January 21 2006, 15:38:05 UTC
I really hate myself and what Ive become. I like to try and tell people that I never care about my looks, and if there is something with a reflection, I wouldnt look. Thats a lie, I look everytime. I can't help it. I want make sure what Im doing, and who Im with looks good. When I hang out with my ugly friends I take extra care to make sure I look better then them, and I stand out from them, just to be better then them. I doubt everything I say. My emotions, all of it. Ive changed a lot since just the beginning of this year, and the people who knew the old me....like this one I guess. But Im afraid the people who didnt know the old me wouldnt like it. So I keep it hidden away and sometimes it comes out when Im around some people. But other's....well, there's a wall there. Whenever Im completley myself, sometimes you're only getting half of it. I try to be honest with everyone, but even to some people I tuck myself away because I feel dumb talking about my feelings. So I don't. My best friend treats me like shit and I secertly hate them. For always making me feel bad and a sea of other things. Around them Im fun and having a good time. But the minute I leave.... everything changes. I get sick of almost everyone Ive ever met really easily (not you however, this I promise). I listen to music that I dont tell some people about because I doubt they'd 'approve'. Id kill to be accpected by everyone.
But as far as I know, Ill always be alone, and no one really likes me around.
To be honest, it feels like it.

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