(no subject)
my goals to do in walmart
-Find a bicycle horn and honk at the customers.
-Bounce a large bouncy ball until an employee asks u "please stop bouncing the ball in the store" then throw the ball into the air obsessively.
-Sit in the parking lot and honk obsessively at pedestrians.
-Always get at least three smily stickers.
-Pick up as many items as u can and when no one's looking set them in the middle of the aisle.
-Block and entire aisle with toys.
-Find out how many packages of toilet paper u can stack on top of each other until they fall over, and then run away frantically.
-Go up and down the aisle singing n'sync, the backstreet boys, brittany spears (yich!), or hanson.
-Aproach every customer and start mooing at them
-Run up and down all the aisles -Put all the cds in a different order -Turn all the sterios on one radio station as loud as they go -Play Marco Polo in the store with some friends -Try on every pair of shew in your size and don't put them back -Start talking into the phones in electronics -Put batteries in all the flashlights and turn them on -Stand in an aisle and put a box of tampons in all the customers' carts and run away -Drop a box on the floor and run around in a circle screaming "i didn't do it" repeatedly
- Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.
- Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
- Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
- Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
- When there are people behind you, moon walk REALLY SLOW, especially down narrow aisles.
- Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
- Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
- Play with the automatic doors.
- Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking
it for a "test drive."
- Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"...I'm Batman. Come Robin--to the Bat cave!"
- Put M&M's on layaway.
- Move 'Caution: Wet Floor' signs to carpeted areas.
- Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
"Mission: Impossible."
- Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
- When someone steps away from their cart, quickly fill it.
- Test the fishing rods and see what you can 'catch' from the other aisles.
- Play with the calculators so that they all spell 'hello' upside down.
- While handling guns in the huntingdepartment, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. Later, enjoy your free nights lodging.
- Hold indoor shopping cart races.
- Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
- Attempt to fit one of your friends into a very large gym bag.
- In the auto department, practice your 'Madonna' look with various funnels.
- When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, 'No, no! It's those voices again!'
- Pick up new, empty purses, put items into the purses and drop them into customer's carts when they aren't looking. Now remember .. giving is fun & funny, but taking gets you strip searched by the guys in blue.
- Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. Bring a teddy bear or stuffed cat to put on your lap and pet. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
- Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
- Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.
- Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
- Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
- Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
- line up your friends into a giant game of life-size foosball using a soccer ball.
- As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
- Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
- Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics, wearing a T-shirt saying, "Cooty Inspector".
- Randomly throw squeezeable toys (u know .. the kind that make a noise when u squeeze and toss 'em) over into neighboring aisles.
- When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
- When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
- Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
- Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
- Take bets using monopoly money on the battle described above.
- Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
- While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
- While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
- Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible." Continue to do this until they leave the department.
- "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics by first name.
- Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
- Ask customers in the checkout line with big expensive items if they have an extra 50% off coupon.
- Challenge other kids to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
- Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
- Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
- Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
- Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming" .. or French .. or whoever is currently the most despised in the latest political news.
Lay in the middle of the isle with you head on a pillow and pretend you asleep - Find a shirt that you thinks cute and find a man and go up to him and ask if he likes it and hold it up to him.
- Take off your shoes and run then slide across the isle with your sox on.
- Go into the bathrooms and fart really loud
-
1 pick up some pens and test each one by writing ur name then jump up and shout I CAN WRITE
2 walk up to a customer and say somthing like - Arent u that really wierd person I saw on the telly and when they denie it follow them anround and contiuesly ask them again and again
3 climb on the shelves and when someone passes, shout - Im the king of the castle and ur the dirty rascle!
4 when no ones looking take all the chocolate bars and hide them behind the cereal packets
5 put ur cart in the middle of the isle and sit in it and cry till an employee asks u 2 get out then refuse till someone pushes ur cart out the way
6 Pick up some Diarrhea tablets and walk up to a man and say really loudly - I think u need these
7 pick up a toy that needs batteries and walk up to som1 who works in the mart and say - I dont think ur toys work I hate this shop
8 run around shouting HELP ME SOMEONE HAS DIED IN ISLE 6
9 Try on horrible sunglasses and walk up someone and tell them their glasses r ugly
10 bring a chair into an isle, make yourself look all mysticle then wisper to nearby customers stupid predictions - things like you are lucky my child and be carefull I see darkness in ur path.
