And as I stared I counted......
18,000,000 thoughts bouncing around. At least one has to be profound. I spent an entire day alone in my own head. Very few distractions. The few encounters I did have with other people felt like dreams. My mom called a few times, but I only pretended to listen. I mean... I was listening and responding... but effortlessly. The whole time she spoke... my mind was off wandering around in itself. I have been doing that to her alot lately. I don't mean to. It just happens. But that day it was particularly bad. I didn't even remember saying good bye. I'm in the computer lab at school. A woman brought her child here. He is crying. Very loudly. I don't want kids. As I was driving that day... and reminicing... I was stopped at a red light... and as I looked around... I wondered where everyone else was going. What were their destinations? What is going on in their lives? Then it occured to me that everyone sees their own life as the most important thing. What they are doing and what is happening to them is waaaay more important than whatever is happening to everyone else. It also occured to me that even though you most likely don't know the person driving in the car next to you... they could still be connected to you in some way. And you would never even know it. For example... you are driving down the road one day and you glance over into a very large truck next to you... a middle aged hispanic man is driving. His wife is in the front seat (a young white woman) and their baby (a gorgeous mixed baby girl) is in the back seat. This is how you are connected... your sister's best friend's mom was the nurse who helped deliver the baby. I mean sure its a fake situation, but little things like that still connect you to people. I bet every single person on this Earth is connected in some way, without even knowing it. Like a giant extremely complicated web. We all take for granted the little things in life. The little moments with your closest friends who know just the right things to say to make you laugh. Its those little moments where you actually connect on a one on one level that make life special. Worth-while even. I guess my point is... I think I'm going to try and be a little less like everyone else. I don't want to take the little things for granted. And I'm going to worry less about other people. I am so busy trying to help everyone else... I forget about myself. They are taking care of themselves... I should take care of myself... because no one else is going to do it for me.