Vision
Today I've caffienated myself to crazyness...and as aweful as it sounds...I've found a restless peace. Its that part of me that loathes sitting around doing nothing and dreaming dreaming dreaming...I need to find an outlet before I pass out. Hopefully this is a suitable outlet, I'm about to go through everything I own and create multiple amazing outfits out the yang! There are many outlets in my life that I wish I could get all in one career but they dont jive. I love classic literature and I love fashion i mean I cant even tell you how much I love both of them but sometimes I feel like literature is a safe settle. Like I feel like I could go out and do some really amazing things in the fashion world but I am so behind and am really scared about climbing that ladder because I am so sick of being poor. If I were to go into literature I feel like I would have money for comfortable living pretty easily enough...but if I went into fashion...being poor would be hard but if I got to my desired status...the gratifacation would be amazing...i would be so satisfied... im not always sure about the satisfaction in literature...its just a pleasure reading and talking about books. Theres a constant struggle because I see a desired lifestyle that I would love to achieve and I am a damn hard worker when the job calls for it, I can really bring it together when its needed and I wonder will being a literature professor bring that out? I dont know...theres so much that needs to happen. I've got all the ideas when it comes to clothing but I dont know how to sew. When it comes to literature I love to read but I an highly underread and cant spell, i have NO grammar what makes me think I'm capable of telling one anything about literature? Theres alot I want in life but sometimes when I'm bored I will turn on Bravo and watch all the fashion directed shows and even their problems they go through look like something I could enjoy doing.... I have such a strong vision when it comes to fashion that makes me so opinionated to the point of no reaching me...in my mind I know what looks best and dont you even try to convince me otherwise becase I KNOW I know better. Right now I feel like hittng up every thrift store I can find and building a look on a budget....I just dont have the money for a new look thats like...$1000 that I dont have lol. Thats a very comfortable spending limit. The good old days when i made more money. Even then that was broken up into shopping sprees but that was probably the budget i would spend on clothes every 2 months. I miss that haha...the money to do it at least. So for now all I can do is look at the clothes I have and ...rearrange... which is what I think i'm going to do right now.