I dont know what to do anymore
I've been running errands for the last three days straight, so I am pretty exhausted. We finally got our computer back, so I was pretty excited about that! Although, I almost wish that we would have never gotten it back. I was reading through my email and saw that I had recieved one from Derric. It said something about me calling at 2 in the morning and his dad getting really pissed to the point where his dad is about to tell me not to call anymore. One, I never called at 2 in the morning. I didn't realize what time it was until I had hung up the phone and looked at the clock, it was 11:30 at night. Although I did feel rather bad about calling that late. Anyways, Derric is thinking about moving back to NC. That hurts me a lot. My friend Evan is leaving off to college, my brother is leaving to live in california, and then Derric my be leaving (more than likely is). I can't figure out this fucking life! I don't even know who I am right now. I just need to be with somebody I really care about. I need to get this shit out of my head; nothing is going right, everything is turning into a huge mess! I hate falling for people! It hurts so bad. I am so confused. Derric knows how I feel for him, but I don't know if he feels the same or even seems to care. I don't understand! I am so sick and tired of liking people! I am so sick and tired of thinking that something is going to work and then it ends up never going anywhere! I hate this! I hate love! I hate falling for people! I don't want my friends to leave, although I know sometimes it may be for the best. It's going to kill me. I am so close to all of them. Anyways, I am going to try to stop myself from falling for people anymore. It sucks! Anyways, I will write tomorrow, I am tired since I been running all weekend.