(no subject)
Date of Service: 03/14/2009
Primary Surgeon: Dr. TinyCat
Assisting Surgeon: Ebi Ebilers, PA-C
Anesthesiologist: Dr. Miso McMeeperton
Name of Operation: Money-dectomy
Pre-Op Diagnosis: Morbid Obesity, swollen stomach, intensive weight gain.
Post-Op Diagnosis: Same. Successful removal of weight and foreign objects.
Pig E. Bank is a two-year old morbidly obese green-and-pink ceramic pig that for the last two years has complained of odd eating habits and inability to lose weight. Decision to under-go gastric weight loss surgery. Patient PARQ was held and all the patient’s questions were answered. Patient consented to proceed.
Patient was taken to sterile operating room Bedroom 1 where the patient was sterilized and draped in normal fashion. Anest. Was administered by Dr. McMeeperton until patient was comfortable and the operation could proceed.
Patient’s rubber belly-button was removed using sterile tweezers and a kitchen butter knife. The patient was then turned on it’s side and through careful manipulation and exploration of the internal body cavity, the offending materials were removed. The assisting surgeon was careful is moving these away from the patient’s body. The patient’s surgery was complicated by the fact that it’s belly button was extremely stiff and ended up falling back into the body cavity.
This surgeon would like to note that the recovery of the belly button was then passed off to a random nurse, one ‘Charlie’, that decided he needed to help with the surgery by attempting to recover the belly button. I turned my attention to the gastric contents.
The gastric contents appear to be the following:
One check for $20, Four dollar bills, and approximately two pounds of coins in various denominations. These were then packed into little paper tubes and correctly labeled by denomination. Once prepped they were inserted into a large sandwich bio-bag.
As of dictation pathology reports are pending at the local bank.
The patient was then brought in stable condition to Recovery Room ‘Bookshelf’.
Edit:
Results from Pathology: $40.67
Primary Surgeon: Dr. TinyCat
Assisting Surgeon: Ebi Ebilers, PA-C
Anesthesiologist: Dr. Miso McMeeperton
Name of Operation: Money-dectomy
Pre-Op Diagnosis: Morbid Obesity, swollen stomach, intensive weight gain.
Post-Op Diagnosis: Same. Successful removal of weight and foreign objects.
Pig E. Bank is a two-year old morbidly obese green-and-pink ceramic pig that for the last two years has complained of odd eating habits and inability to lose weight. Decision to under-go gastric weight loss surgery. Patient PARQ was held and all the patient’s questions were answered. Patient consented to proceed.
Patient was taken to sterile operating room Bedroom 1 where the patient was sterilized and draped in normal fashion. Anest. Was administered by Dr. McMeeperton until patient was comfortable and the operation could proceed.
Patient’s rubber belly-button was removed using sterile tweezers and a kitchen butter knife. The patient was then turned on it’s side and through careful manipulation and exploration of the internal body cavity, the offending materials were removed. The assisting surgeon was careful is moving these away from the patient’s body. The patient’s surgery was complicated by the fact that it’s belly button was extremely stiff and ended up falling back into the body cavity.
This surgeon would like to note that the recovery of the belly button was then passed off to a random nurse, one ‘Charlie’, that decided he needed to help with the surgery by attempting to recover the belly button. I turned my attention to the gastric contents.
The gastric contents appear to be the following:
One check for $20, Four dollar bills, and approximately two pounds of coins in various denominations. These were then packed into little paper tubes and correctly labeled by denomination. Once prepped they were inserted into a large sandwich bio-bag.
As of dictation pathology reports are pending at the local bank.
The patient was then brought in stable condition to Recovery Room ‘Bookshelf’.
Edit:
Results from Pathology: $40.67