(no subject)
The discontinuation of this journal is becoming more and more evident. I never use it (although my comp is the issue for that right now), but I never say anything positive. Furthermore, when I do have something positive to say just knowing that this is the same journal where I throw negative impulsive BS about how I hate everything negates the fact that for once.. even if just for a couple minutes.. might be a normal human being.
Frankly, I've been viewing this more and more as a crutch and an excuse to maintain various grudges against my life. Journal writing is supposed to be therapeutic but it doesn't work for me, at least.
In summary, I am doing nothing productive worth mentioning and I don't think any of my thoughts or feelings are worth recording. I prefer to talk on the phone, but even that has degraded to the point where I need to drink in order to think anything I might have to say, no matter how stupid, could be worthwhile. It's also eating a lot of peoples' phone time, so.. No more dialing.
I may start a new journal that could at some point hold new writing or ideas (or all the funny mess ups at work.. I love 'officially deceased' patients calling into the dr. for medications), but nothing along the lines of something like this.
Bye bye.
Frankly, I've been viewing this more and more as a crutch and an excuse to maintain various grudges against my life. Journal writing is supposed to be therapeutic but it doesn't work for me, at least.
In summary, I am doing nothing productive worth mentioning and I don't think any of my thoughts or feelings are worth recording. I prefer to talk on the phone, but even that has degraded to the point where I need to drink in order to think anything I might have to say, no matter how stupid, could be worthwhile. It's also eating a lot of peoples' phone time, so.. No more dialing.
I may start a new journal that could at some point hold new writing or ideas (or all the funny mess ups at work.. I love 'officially deceased' patients calling into the dr. for medications), but nothing along the lines of something like this.
Bye bye.