(no subject)
I've decided that I cannot control people. I cannot influence them to do as i want them to do. I can only speak how i feel or what i want and let them do as they want to do... that makes me feel bad. I want to protect him. I want to make him do as I want him to do bc then I know he'll be safe. I want to be able to keep him with me at all times so that i know he's ok and nothing is going to hurt him. I want to know he's going to be happy, all the time. And with the things that's going to happen, i know that i'll never get any of that. I know that every post recently has been sad or angry, but what else can i do? I feel like shit. I'm NOT in a good place right now and i feel as if everything inside of me has just given up... nothing wants to work....my organs are rebelling against me in an attempt to just kill me now before the pain gets any worse. I've learned what "we should start at friends" really feels like. I think I'd rather hear "we're over"