so a lot has happened in the year since i last posted.
i think the real reason i haven't updated in over a year is that i've lost touch with my passions. my life is consumed by graduate applications and the frightening cloud of FUTURE hovering over my head like winnie the pooh and his rain cloud. i've grown up. i think deep down i've always been a grown up. i strive my life on being independent and not needing the support of anyone. i am the girl in the crowded room when the camera zooms in and she is awkwardly looking around as if she is looking for someone (despite there being thousands around). if you dont understand the image then you don't understand me.
i also have not updated my real live journal in months. my passion for poetry, fiction and song lyrics has been displaced by deal or no deal and history term papers. i'm a serious student but my love for writing can't be erased by the desire to 4.0 my college career.
the future freaks me out. i dont care how many albums, movies, or song lyrics i plagiarized that from but its true. the idea that i could be living with a boy in a couple of months is way too grown up for me to fathom. i want to be sitting in my dodge neon at the intersection of route 59 and north ave. listening to everlong by the foo fighters. the security of the future being so far away is gone. boo-boo my bear is nothing but an antique and i need to start making some decisions that literally can define me as a person and my future.
college has flown by and reading the year re-caps will forever make me laugh and cry. the memories attached to michigan state are some shared by no one but me, myself and i. this is my place. i came here despite the odds. i ensured the opportunity for a fresh start where no one knew me or my past. michigan state is not an ivy league school. it's not an art school. its just home. the people walking down the streets with looks begging for class to be canceled because of -2 degree temperatures and 2 ft of snow make me appreciate the time, money and effort i have put into my education. its the professors that passionately describe the difference between voodoo economics and reagonomics. (thats right an econ reference). i know this sounds like an ad but i'm staring at a jimmy john's wrapper and the oc season 1 and realizing i wouldn't change anything about my four years here.
in other news. i can't wait for that first spring day. the snow is still on the ground but you walk out of your apartment door and the air just smells different. it smells like a mix of life, sex, and relief. it's my favorite day of the year. for the past four years on the first day after a long (repeat long) winter i sit on the bench outside of the library with a cup of coffee and watch the demeanor of the passerbys change. its as if nothing is wrong in the world. i love that day and i have a solid month to enjoy my last seat on the bench and my last sigh of freedom and youth.
i also have not updated my real live journal in months. my passion for poetry, fiction and song lyrics has been displaced by deal or no deal and history term papers. i'm a serious student but my love for writing can't be erased by the desire to 4.0 my college career.
the future freaks me out. i dont care how many albums, movies, or song lyrics i plagiarized that from but its true. the idea that i could be living with a boy in a couple of months is way too grown up for me to fathom. i want to be sitting in my dodge neon at the intersection of route 59 and north ave. listening to everlong by the foo fighters. the security of the future being so far away is gone. boo-boo my bear is nothing but an antique and i need to start making some decisions that literally can define me as a person and my future.
college has flown by and reading the year re-caps will forever make me laugh and cry. the memories attached to michigan state are some shared by no one but me, myself and i. this is my place. i came here despite the odds. i ensured the opportunity for a fresh start where no one knew me or my past. michigan state is not an ivy league school. it's not an art school. its just home. the people walking down the streets with looks begging for class to be canceled because of -2 degree temperatures and 2 ft of snow make me appreciate the time, money and effort i have put into my education. its the professors that passionately describe the difference between voodoo economics and reagonomics. (thats right an econ reference). i know this sounds like an ad but i'm staring at a jimmy john's wrapper and the oc season 1 and realizing i wouldn't change anything about my four years here.
in other news. i can't wait for that first spring day. the snow is still on the ground but you walk out of your apartment door and the air just smells different. it smells like a mix of life, sex, and relief. it's my favorite day of the year. for the past four years on the first day after a long (repeat long) winter i sit on the bench outside of the library with a cup of coffee and watch the demeanor of the passerbys change. its as if nothing is wrong in the world. i love that day and i have a solid month to enjoy my last seat on the bench and my last sigh of freedom and youth.