(no subject)
it is amazing to me how much you can miss a person once they're no longer there. i pride myself on not losing friends, ex boyfriends, etc. even if sometimes it means sacrificing my true feelings for reconciliation. i miss my boyfriend a lot while i am at home and i miss my friends from home when i'm at school. but when i come home its just not the same. i'm supposed to lose friendships my freshman year of college and NOT my junior year of college. its not like i've lost them i just feel like i've lost any common ground. i'm proud of my decisions especially moving to msu but at the same time there are moments where i wish i went to a school like eastern illinois or university of iowa where i would be able to feel connected to the people i love.
not that its limited to illinois and home friendships. i lost a friend this year not because of my bad choices but because of hers. and i make myself sick to think that i am the one that is trying to get a hold of her, it pains me to think about because i am putting my morals to the side just because i'm afraid of admitting i was wrong about a choice of a friend. i don't want to rekindle a friendship more so i just want to know she's okay. that's why i made my choice in the first place because i would NOT be able to live with myself if she wasn't okay. and now i can't live with myself because i feel like i'm not there to support her.
in other news i'm thrilled to start my new job and internship. i think its a HUGE career move and hopefully hard work will pay off in the long run.
and f.y.i live journaling world, all 4.0's this semester. cheers, drink up and merry christmas.
not that its limited to illinois and home friendships. i lost a friend this year not because of my bad choices but because of hers. and i make myself sick to think that i am the one that is trying to get a hold of her, it pains me to think about because i am putting my morals to the side just because i'm afraid of admitting i was wrong about a choice of a friend. i don't want to rekindle a friendship more so i just want to know she's okay. that's why i made my choice in the first place because i would NOT be able to live with myself if she wasn't okay. and now i can't live with myself because i feel like i'm not there to support her.
in other news i'm thrilled to start my new job and internship. i think its a HUGE career move and hopefully hard work will pay off in the long run.
and f.y.i live journaling world, all 4.0's this semester. cheers, drink up and merry christmas.