november

[bethyblue123]

this month is going to be filled with many ups and downs... luke is getting here the 19th.  I'm so excited but when he gets here i will be getting ready for thanksgiving. this will be my second thanksgiving without my grandma and my first thanksgiving away from home.  it's going to be really hard not being around family during the holidays. i'm still not used to my grandma being gone and now i don't have my family to talk to about it. i have luke and he went through the same exact thing with his grandma and cancer so he is a good listener and i know he understands. it's just so hard. i don't really talk about her a lot because i don't like to show weakness and i don't like to cry. she was an amazing lady and i miss her like crazy. it was hard enough getting married and knowing she never got to see any of her grandchildren get married and she didn't get to meet luke and see how great he is. i never thought i'd be the kind to get upset every year when this time came around but i am. last year on the anniversary i  locked my keys in the car... not once but two times... i just get spaced out and numb.

janit: i know you understand this and i love you so much and hope you and your sister can get with your mom on the 27th. i know you guys have your differences but this is a time for family. i know how things are with  your family and i know i thought i would never miss my mom but i do. being here has shown me how much my mom was there for me and how much we still need eachother. i hope you have a good holiday season. i will try and call you soon... maybe today! i miss you guys a lot.