I have no introduction.
1. I am in a lot of physical pain. My old injuries are haunting me. I want to be able to enjoy my regular activities. I want to play and go hard. Will I ever fully heal? It's been 3 years (I think). I admittedly have never been stabbed with a knife, but I'm pretty sure this is how it would feel. It's about all I can think about from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. It hurts to sit, to stand, to lay down, just to be awake, and when it feels like this, sleeping is a challenge. And it hurts my brain and my heart. I skipped out on the most snow we've had all season to try and spare my body. I sacrificed my happy times to try and heal and be happier. Another 10 inches overnight. We'll see what I can endure today.
2. I am emotionally distressed. Apparently my boyfriend thinks I am week and I am stupid and it makes it hard to feel as smart and strong as I know I am. Apparently he hates me. He hates all humans, possibly indiscriminately. It is not pleasant to be around someone who is so full of anger and bitterness and despair. He fails to believe in kindness and love and the power they hold. This is distressing. This is unpleasant. I don't know if this is a bad day or a phase or the essence of his being. This is a problem.
3. I don't like my roommates. They may be okay as people, but they are terrible roommates and terribly disrespectful. That's what it is when, as an adult, you expect others to pay your bills and cover your debts. That's what it is when, although physically capable, you expect others, without asking, to clean up your messes. I should not have to be a fucking maid in my own home when I live with 2 grown men. I'm not asking for miracles, but if you spill something wipe it up, preferably before it dries and is crusted on. If you use the pots and pans, wash them, so someone else can use them without doing your dirty work. I skipped dinner 2 nights in a row because I didn't feel like cleaning the kitchen and the dishes again. I clean them more than I use them. If you finish the toilet paper replace it, even if it means, heaven forbid, driving to the store and buying more. Don't wonder why I want to live alone. It has nothing to do with being anti social and avoiding the company of others, it has to do with not wanting to be responsible for other adults (they are not my invalid parents, nor are they my children). It is outright disrespectful. I have had roommates for almost 15 years and I have only had a couple that have cleaned up after themselves. If I wanted to be a maid I would be a housekeeper, it's a booming industry in a resort town, and I'd probably make more money than I do now. If I didn't care about other people's filth I'd live in frat house or a party house.
4. Fuck weed. Legal or not, weed or cigarettes, smoking it stinks. Ashes and tar are dirty and gross (and again, if you spill them, wipe them up). Have you ever taken a good whiff of bong water? It may as well be toxic sludge from the Bog of Eternal Stench. I will never live with smokers again. Once I am through with it I am throwing out the couch and the mattresses and washing the drapes and tearing up the carpet and if there are any smokers, well, I have a balcony with one of the most beautiful views in the world as we sit right on the continental divide.
END RANT.
2. I am emotionally distressed. Apparently my boyfriend thinks I am week and I am stupid and it makes it hard to feel as smart and strong as I know I am. Apparently he hates me. He hates all humans, possibly indiscriminately. It is not pleasant to be around someone who is so full of anger and bitterness and despair. He fails to believe in kindness and love and the power they hold. This is distressing. This is unpleasant. I don't know if this is a bad day or a phase or the essence of his being. This is a problem.
3. I don't like my roommates. They may be okay as people, but they are terrible roommates and terribly disrespectful. That's what it is when, as an adult, you expect others to pay your bills and cover your debts. That's what it is when, although physically capable, you expect others, without asking, to clean up your messes. I should not have to be a fucking maid in my own home when I live with 2 grown men. I'm not asking for miracles, but if you spill something wipe it up, preferably before it dries and is crusted on. If you use the pots and pans, wash them, so someone else can use them without doing your dirty work. I skipped dinner 2 nights in a row because I didn't feel like cleaning the kitchen and the dishes again. I clean them more than I use them. If you finish the toilet paper replace it, even if it means, heaven forbid, driving to the store and buying more. Don't wonder why I want to live alone. It has nothing to do with being anti social and avoiding the company of others, it has to do with not wanting to be responsible for other adults (they are not my invalid parents, nor are they my children). It is outright disrespectful. I have had roommates for almost 15 years and I have only had a couple that have cleaned up after themselves. If I wanted to be a maid I would be a housekeeper, it's a booming industry in a resort town, and I'd probably make more money than I do now. If I didn't care about other people's filth I'd live in frat house or a party house.
4. Fuck weed. Legal or not, weed or cigarettes, smoking it stinks. Ashes and tar are dirty and gross (and again, if you spill them, wipe them up). Have you ever taken a good whiff of bong water? It may as well be toxic sludge from the Bog of Eternal Stench. I will never live with smokers again. Once I am through with it I am throwing out the couch and the mattresses and washing the drapes and tearing up the carpet and if there are any smokers, well, I have a balcony with one of the most beautiful views in the world as we sit right on the continental divide.
END RANT.