(no subject)
I was just reminded why everyone thinks I am such a bitch. I guess people may think that because unlike them, I do not spend my every waking moment drinking, screwing around,driving around with friends. Unlike them, I go school, I work my ass off, I have a successful relationship. I really am a smart person. I would rather talk about something relevant and not stupid. I like to learn new things. I want so badly to have a place of my own someday, to be successful in everything I do that, although it may be dumb to some, I spend my time focusing on that goal. Yes, it would be really nice to talk with high-school friends. It would be great to party with them sometime. But, if it dosent happen, I guess I will just understand that I'm on a diferent level than them. whatever.
I have talked on the phone hours on end to those of you who have really needed it. I have heard countless numbers of times how even though we may not see each other all the time, I will always be one of your best friends. I have not asked for much. I never really ask for anything at all, actually. Maybe that's the problem. I really don't know. Maybe the reason when i get phone calls at 11 at night to go out, when i say no I hear "that's cause you're with Matt and you always are with Matt". Did you ever stop to think that Matt does not call me at 11 at night. If he did, I would probably be with someone else. Matt has been there with me when i didn't ask. He has read when i need somebody, even when i didn't say it. When I needed a friend, Matt was my friend. When I need an enemy, he's an enemy. When I need somebody to love me, he does. That's the difference between you.
I am going to grow up, have a great job that I'm really good at, I am going to have a marriage, children. I am going to be everthing I want to be, and if it mean I leave you behind, I guess I will.
This is me being honest with myself. Being honest with you. If we ARE friends, maybe I will hear from you once in a while, and if we aren't, then I won't. I just hope you stop reading this journal and being nosey.
Yes, I am a nice person, yes I give good advise. yes I am a good listener, I am honest, I love knowing that I am not the only goal-oriented peoson in this world. I am a really good friend. A REALLY GOOD FRIEND. Why are you having so much trouble seeing this?
I have talked on the phone hours on end to those of you who have really needed it. I have heard countless numbers of times how even though we may not see each other all the time, I will always be one of your best friends. I have not asked for much. I never really ask for anything at all, actually. Maybe that's the problem. I really don't know. Maybe the reason when i get phone calls at 11 at night to go out, when i say no I hear "that's cause you're with Matt and you always are with Matt". Did you ever stop to think that Matt does not call me at 11 at night. If he did, I would probably be with someone else. Matt has been there with me when i didn't ask. He has read when i need somebody, even when i didn't say it. When I needed a friend, Matt was my friend. When I need an enemy, he's an enemy. When I need somebody to love me, he does. That's the difference between you.
I am going to grow up, have a great job that I'm really good at, I am going to have a marriage, children. I am going to be everthing I want to be, and if it mean I leave you behind, I guess I will.
This is me being honest with myself. Being honest with you. If we ARE friends, maybe I will hear from you once in a while, and if we aren't, then I won't. I just hope you stop reading this journal and being nosey.
Yes, I am a nice person, yes I give good advise. yes I am a good listener, I am honest, I love knowing that I am not the only goal-oriented peoson in this world. I am a really good friend. A REALLY GOOD FRIEND. Why are you having so much trouble seeing this?