(no subject)
We watch Doctor Who! "Dalek." Here are minutes!
In Utah!
Cybermen are silly looking.
Yeah.
Yes, poke the cyberman. That will help.
We seem to get surrounded by police a lot.
And soldiers.
Same thingie.
Yeah.
Well, part of the wormhole’s blue!
That’s a relief.
Crazy Americans.
This is a bit like watching Brazil.
Yeah. Although I don’t see Michael Palin anywhere.
Kind of a relief, actually.
Aww.
Don’t throw the alien artifacts.
Aw, little Lord Fauntleroy!
Talyn, you’ve seen them both naked.
I was trying to remember the quote.
Orange!
Aeryn Sun, always appropriate.
That guy reminds me of someone.
That’s a stupid name! However, it’s not an anagram of anything, so.
He reminds me of Kevin Kline.
Little bit. Only more annoying.
Have you seen A Fish Called Wanda?
No, that’s very true.
You need to.
I know.
It’s awesome.
I’ve been told.
Do not touch the Dalek!
Oh, fuck.
We’d prefer that you do not shoot the Doctor.
To give you angst, sir.
Well, yes. This is why he is the emo Doctor.
Umm … maybe?
Yes, I did.
All of them and their silly hats.
It’s also the emo Dalek.
Unique is always valuable.
You’re cute, kid.
Yes.
We keep him for like an episode and then he turns out to be an idiot and we drop him back off.
Aw.
We take him to like, the future, and he installs alien technology into his brain in hopes of selling it in the present.
Bad plan.
We do not have sex ever!
I have to type that.
Because he’s an alien and nine hundred years old and that would be weird.
I’d do it.
Well, yes.
But then, we’re not Rose Tyler.
No, we’re not.
Probably for the best, really.
We’re not blonde.
No.
Or English.
Not that either.
She reminds me of someone, too.
Mmmhmm.
Damn it.
Oh, dear.
And now, the bondage.
Okay!
Oh, sir, you should never say things like that.
What’s with the red shit?
I have no idea.
Dalek.
Do not touch the Dalek!
It might get angry.
Or angstier.
Oh, no.
It will eventually download the entirety of the internet.
Why?
Information?
It wants porn?
No? It just gets porn as a side effect.
Aw, it’s a cute widdle Dalek. Don’t trust it, Rose.
Oh, dear.
Rose, you are very foolish. I realize this is because you know nothing about Daleks, but you are very foolish.
Oh, silly torture man.
And give me my sweater back!
With a toilet plunger.
Old school.
Oh yeah.
The BBC website had a game where you were the Dalek in this episode and you went around shooting stuff … it was awesome. I don’t know if it’s still there.
I download the interweb! Or something. Now it’s all shiny!
So much porn!
That Dalek just absorbed the entire Internet! Oh my God.
That Dalek is the repository of every bad fanfic known to man.
Matrix Dalek!
It is the One.
I think the Matrix would have been a very different movie had it been populated by Daleks. That rather goes without saying, doesn’t it?
Watch the chassis!
Sir … they’re all dead. Everybody’s dead, Dave.
Do not taunt the Dalek.
No, it isn’t.
I would really keep running.
You’re badass, ma’am. It’s a shame it won’t work.
It’s R2D2. Except evil.
And with a toilet plunger.
I’m sure R2 has a toilet plunger.
Yes, but it’s not so prominently displayed.
You can’t reason with a Dalek.
That’s a lot of dead Mormons.
Oh, sir.
Ohh …
You’re all gonna die.
Here, have a weak spot. No! I will ignore you.
Because this is an intelligent plan.
The Doctor failed his charisma roll.
The guy failed his intelligence check.
Doctor must’ve rolled a 1. Critical failure!
Would you like to come up?
You should not have touched the Dalek! Also it’s now read a lot of porn.
Oh, man.
A sexually fixated Dalek is a very strange thought.
That idea hurts me.
That’s what I’m for.
I’ve missed you, too.
When this episode is over, can I have tea?
Yes. We will have tea.
Bang bang!
Yes, shoot the Dalek! That seems to be working in a way that isn’t.
The Dalek will now kill you all! With the sprinklers.
W00t!
The Dalek pwns you.
Hahahaha.
Mine is an evil laugh.
We went to see that, like, me and my family, and I think it’s the only time I’ve ever seen Katie cry at a movie. It was very sad.
Except maybe the Dalek.
Yes, the Daleks, they have a website, you know.
Lonely Dalek in the rain.
It’s the rain that makes it art.
The Doctor needs a hug.
Perhaps you should go and lie down for a bit, sir.
He’s a bit busy.
Mm. Very true.
There’s always that moment of “oh, it’s not my phone.”
Yeah. I hate phones on TV.
Better than alarm clocks.
God, yes.
This is what happens when you download the internet, the Dalek is now a shipper.
Oh, my.
Next he’ll be writing bad poetry.
What does a Dalek know about love?
Oh God, that’s the funniest question ever.
I mean, he’d’ve learned about it on Wikipedia, right?
Presumably there’s Shakespeare online and things like that, as well. Massive amounts of bad poetry.
Oh dear, Doctor with a gun. Never a good plan.
BAZOOKA.
What does a Dalek know about love?
Oh, God. He’s a philosopher Dalek.
Where’s your sponge?
I didn’t mean to hurt you, baby.
It was just some electroshock, I was trying to help.
EXTERMINAAATE.
I like killing.
More porn!
Loooooove!
Dalek needs love.
Salt-monster needs love!
Dalek/salt-monster!
Bleah.
They both need love!
Ooh. A ray of sunlight.
I hate when I break my parking garage.
Um … like sunlight.
Please don’t kill the Mormons.
Ooh. A Dalek. It’s all squishy.
Once they looked like people, Rose!
Aww.
Something that’s melting, apparently.
So much bad porn!
Dalek go boom.
Dead!
I would really prefer that you stop doing that, please. Nooo! What?
What?
It says that my disk is damaged. It doesn’t look damaged - there’s only like five minutes left of this episode! This does not make Sara a happy pudgeball.
No.
His complaint is that he’s pretty?
I believe his complaint is that she’s thinking with her-
Yes.
But.
Time for tea!
Tea-time!
In Utah!
Cybermen are silly looking.
Yeah.
Yes, poke the cyberman. That will help.
We seem to get surrounded by police a lot.
And soldiers.
Same thingie.
Yeah.
Well, part of the wormhole’s blue!
That’s a relief.
Crazy Americans.
This is a bit like watching Brazil.
Yeah. Although I don’t see Michael Palin anywhere.
Kind of a relief, actually.
Aww.
Don’t throw the alien artifacts.
Aw, little Lord Fauntleroy!
Talyn, you’ve seen them both naked.
I was trying to remember the quote.
Orange!
Aeryn Sun, always appropriate.
That guy reminds me of someone.
That’s a stupid name! However, it’s not an anagram of anything, so.
He reminds me of Kevin Kline.
Little bit. Only more annoying.
Have you seen A Fish Called Wanda?
No, that’s very true.
You need to.
I know.
It’s awesome.
I’ve been told.
Do not touch the Dalek!
Oh, fuck.
We’d prefer that you do not shoot the Doctor.
To give you angst, sir.
Well, yes. This is why he is the emo Doctor.
Umm … maybe?
Yes, I did.
All of them and their silly hats.
It’s also the emo Dalek.
Unique is always valuable.
You’re cute, kid.
Yes.
We keep him for like an episode and then he turns out to be an idiot and we drop him back off.
Aw.
We take him to like, the future, and he installs alien technology into his brain in hopes of selling it in the present.
Bad plan.
We do not have sex ever!
I have to type that.
Because he’s an alien and nine hundred years old and that would be weird.
I’d do it.
Well, yes.
But then, we’re not Rose Tyler.
No, we’re not.
Probably for the best, really.
We’re not blonde.
No.
Or English.
Not that either.
She reminds me of someone, too.
Mmmhmm.
Damn it.
Oh, dear.
And now, the bondage.
Okay!
Oh, sir, you should never say things like that.
What’s with the red shit?
I have no idea.
Dalek.
Do not touch the Dalek!
It might get angry.
Or angstier.
Oh, no.
It will eventually download the entirety of the internet.
Why?
Information?
It wants porn?
No? It just gets porn as a side effect.
Aw, it’s a cute widdle Dalek. Don’t trust it, Rose.
Oh, dear.
Rose, you are very foolish. I realize this is because you know nothing about Daleks, but you are very foolish.
Oh, silly torture man.
And give me my sweater back!
With a toilet plunger.
Old school.
Oh yeah.
The BBC website had a game where you were the Dalek in this episode and you went around shooting stuff … it was awesome. I don’t know if it’s still there.
I download the interweb! Or something. Now it’s all shiny!
So much porn!
That Dalek just absorbed the entire Internet! Oh my God.
That Dalek is the repository of every bad fanfic known to man.
Matrix Dalek!
It is the One.
I think the Matrix would have been a very different movie had it been populated by Daleks. That rather goes without saying, doesn’t it?
Watch the chassis!
Sir … they’re all dead. Everybody’s dead, Dave.
Do not taunt the Dalek.
No, it isn’t.
I would really keep running.
You’re badass, ma’am. It’s a shame it won’t work.
It’s R2D2. Except evil.
And with a toilet plunger.
I’m sure R2 has a toilet plunger.
Yes, but it’s not so prominently displayed.
You can’t reason with a Dalek.
That’s a lot of dead Mormons.
Oh, sir.
Ohh …
You’re all gonna die.
Here, have a weak spot. No! I will ignore you.
Because this is an intelligent plan.
The Doctor failed his charisma roll.
The guy failed his intelligence check.
Doctor must’ve rolled a 1. Critical failure!
Would you like to come up?
You should not have touched the Dalek! Also it’s now read a lot of porn.
Oh, man.
A sexually fixated Dalek is a very strange thought.
That idea hurts me.
That’s what I’m for.
I’ve missed you, too.
When this episode is over, can I have tea?
Yes. We will have tea.
Bang bang!
Yes, shoot the Dalek! That seems to be working in a way that isn’t.
The Dalek will now kill you all! With the sprinklers.
W00t!
The Dalek pwns you.
Hahahaha.
Mine is an evil laugh.
We went to see that, like, me and my family, and I think it’s the only time I’ve ever seen Katie cry at a movie. It was very sad.
Except maybe the Dalek.
Yes, the Daleks, they have a website, you know.
Lonely Dalek in the rain.
It’s the rain that makes it art.
The Doctor needs a hug.
Perhaps you should go and lie down for a bit, sir.
He’s a bit busy.
Mm. Very true.
There’s always that moment of “oh, it’s not my phone.”
Yeah. I hate phones on TV.
Better than alarm clocks.
God, yes.
This is what happens when you download the internet, the Dalek is now a shipper.
Oh, my.
Next he’ll be writing bad poetry.
What does a Dalek know about love?
Oh God, that’s the funniest question ever.
I mean, he’d’ve learned about it on Wikipedia, right?
Presumably there’s Shakespeare online and things like that, as well. Massive amounts of bad poetry.
Oh dear, Doctor with a gun. Never a good plan.
BAZOOKA.
What does a Dalek know about love?
Oh, God. He’s a philosopher Dalek.
Where’s your sponge?
I didn’t mean to hurt you, baby.
It was just some electroshock, I was trying to help.
EXTERMINAAATE.
I like killing.
More porn!
Loooooove!
Dalek needs love.
Salt-monster needs love!
Dalek/salt-monster!
Bleah.
They both need love!
Ooh. A ray of sunlight.
I hate when I break my parking garage.
Um … like sunlight.
Please don’t kill the Mormons.
Ooh. A Dalek. It’s all squishy.
Once they looked like people, Rose!
Aww.
Something that’s melting, apparently.
So much bad porn!
Dalek go boom.
Dead!
I would really prefer that you stop doing that, please. Nooo! What?
What?
It says that my disk is damaged. It doesn’t look damaged - there’s only like five minutes left of this episode! This does not make Sara a happy pudgeball.
No.
His complaint is that he’s pretty?
I believe his complaint is that she’s thinking with her-
Yes.
But.
Time for tea!
Tea-time!