who are you when im not looking?
oh good old trusty journal. always there for me. Well life is not what i hoped it would be, although im not sure if it ever is. I have a way of building up my life, only to spontaneously let it combust on purpose. My reasoning for writing in this is to try and pinpoint where i went wrong, and to try and figure out how to rebuild a new life without swallowing myself any deeper than i have already fallen.
I will begin back in september 2010, when jenna, katie, and I moved to ann arbor together. Life was excellent. I had an apartment with my best friends in an awesome city filled with parks all around me. I rode the bus anywhere i needed to go. I was taking classes at eastern once again, and i had a job with awesome people, and i actually enjoyed going to work. Jose and i were also continuing our charades with one another. We were back in love, and things were promising. Come october i find out that jose had been seeing his ex the entire summer and was still doing so. She also worked with both of us, so little to say, i saw her every day, and there was a lot of drama. I won the war though, she quit, and backed down. jose chose me. But you know me, if you fuck around on me, i am probably already fucking around on you. I used to have a terrible cheating habit, which i am not proud of at all. Sure, i was being faithful to jose the last few months, but as soon as i found out what he did, i found an employee of my work, one of jose's friends and we had sex a few times. Jose never knew, but i felt great about getting him back.
Meanwhile, while all this is happening, i am strengthening my friendship even more with jenna and katie. It was wonderful to have best friends. I created many memories with them that year that i will always cherish. Jenna also got a kitten named orange in our last apartment together and stoney and him become best friends. We vowed never to separate them, although to tell you truth i always thought i would end up with them. So life is good with my friends for a while. Katie begins to invite one of her guy friends over quite frequently. He comes over a couple times a week. His name is Dougie. Katie and him went to central together. The first few months he came over i didn't hang out much when he was around. Sure sometimes i would, but i was busy working and going to school. Not to mention so caught up with the jose drama i didnt even give Dougie a second glance. I dont know how it happened but one day in december when i was really wasted i put my hand on his thigh. Then i got hauled off to my room by katie because obviously i was wasted. i texted him and told him i thought he was hot, and we made plans to go on a date. To be honest, i dont know why i began this..a bad idea considering he was katie's really good friend. We snuck around for about a month, afraid to tell katie what was happening. I admit i began to really like dougie...he was successful, hot, and had an amazing body. We had so much fun together, always going to the park, always laughing. He was crazy about me, and i loved it. I even stopped seeing jose because dougie was enough. He soon became all i wanted. I knew it was wrong to date him because it would hurt katie's feelings, but i was selfish and wanted dougie regardless. Then, as karma comes around, we have sex one time and i get pregnant!
Well this is where im going to leave off for now. I will continue my story soon.
I will begin back in september 2010, when jenna, katie, and I moved to ann arbor together. Life was excellent. I had an apartment with my best friends in an awesome city filled with parks all around me. I rode the bus anywhere i needed to go. I was taking classes at eastern once again, and i had a job with awesome people, and i actually enjoyed going to work. Jose and i were also continuing our charades with one another. We were back in love, and things were promising. Come october i find out that jose had been seeing his ex the entire summer and was still doing so. She also worked with both of us, so little to say, i saw her every day, and there was a lot of drama. I won the war though, she quit, and backed down. jose chose me. But you know me, if you fuck around on me, i am probably already fucking around on you. I used to have a terrible cheating habit, which i am not proud of at all. Sure, i was being faithful to jose the last few months, but as soon as i found out what he did, i found an employee of my work, one of jose's friends and we had sex a few times. Jose never knew, but i felt great about getting him back.
Meanwhile, while all this is happening, i am strengthening my friendship even more with jenna and katie. It was wonderful to have best friends. I created many memories with them that year that i will always cherish. Jenna also got a kitten named orange in our last apartment together and stoney and him become best friends. We vowed never to separate them, although to tell you truth i always thought i would end up with them. So life is good with my friends for a while. Katie begins to invite one of her guy friends over quite frequently. He comes over a couple times a week. His name is Dougie. Katie and him went to central together. The first few months he came over i didn't hang out much when he was around. Sure sometimes i would, but i was busy working and going to school. Not to mention so caught up with the jose drama i didnt even give Dougie a second glance. I dont know how it happened but one day in december when i was really wasted i put my hand on his thigh. Then i got hauled off to my room by katie because obviously i was wasted. i texted him and told him i thought he was hot, and we made plans to go on a date. To be honest, i dont know why i began this..a bad idea considering he was katie's really good friend. We snuck around for about a month, afraid to tell katie what was happening. I admit i began to really like dougie...he was successful, hot, and had an amazing body. We had so much fun together, always going to the park, always laughing. He was crazy about me, and i loved it. I even stopped seeing jose because dougie was enough. He soon became all i wanted. I knew it was wrong to date him because it would hurt katie's feelings, but i was selfish and wanted dougie regardless. Then, as karma comes around, we have sex one time and i get pregnant!
Well this is where im going to leave off for now. I will continue my story soon.