writing with teeth

[lolmac]

I was out surfing last night (haha, on the web), and wandered past an LJ comm focused on discussions of grammar and style for writers. Yeah, they're very rare, I know. I'm not going to specify which one it was, because I was almost instantly turned off the comm by an earnest post promoting Elmore Leonard’s advice for writers.

My guess is that the

Comments

[thothmes]

I too sent my son off to college high school with Strunk and White. It was what his writing needed. Now that he has absorbed it, and no longer writes academic papers that read just the way he speaks, he can move on to a more advanced and nuanced approach

[campylobacter]

if Elmore Leonard had written The Lord of the Rings

When short, white B. Baggins announced that he'd be hosting a swanky birthday shindig, all the citizens of Hobbbiton gossiped about it. Hell, the little bastard was old -- one-hundred-and-eleven years old -- and it was rumored that he (Bilbo) had an orgy with a group of even shorter, whiter guys sixty years earlier.

gifted practitioners can also be stylistic chameleons
Agreed; when reading about characters making planetfall, I want a couple prosy, adjective-filled sentences describing what makes the world unique/beautiful/wondrous.

When reading about a fist-fight, I want clean, short sentences that convey action efficiently.

When reading about characters sharing a special moment, I want to know about every clench of the jaw, restrained sigh, averted gaze, and wistful smile.

[lolmac]

When reading about a fist-fight, I want clean, short sentences that convey action efficiently.

Here's a somewhat variant thought on that.

You see, I ended up writing a lot of action sequences (that's what I call them, anyway; not action scenes, but sequences). This continues to startle me, as do many things about this whole writing business; I keep getting told that Action is Hard. (Also, Dialogue Is Hard. And, apparently, Plot Is Hard. And Characters.)

Anyway.

I was given, more or less as a shining orb of Truth, the information that Long Complex Sentences Are Bad. Especially in action scenes. And that I must work very very hard to overcome my dreadful tendency thereunto.

I re-read my work with this admonition in mind, and I did keep it in mind as I proceeded. But I kept running into a peculiar thing. That bit about action sequences. At the time, I was just writing MacGyver, and when he gets busy, more than one thing is happening. Events are set up to move in related sets. Short, choppy sentences were not the best way

[campylobacter]

Yes, BUT... you would've agreed with my beta-reader's edits when I attempted my first fight scene. Too many words, too much self-conscious effort in sentence structure variety, non-sequential motion descriptions because of clauses within clauses.

The resulting subject-verb, subject-verb staccato for 300 words worked much better and helped the pacing. Because sh!t was going down fast and jamming zats, P-90s and MP7s down with MY LITERCHURE LET ME SHOW U IT hurt the story.

And yes, I do agree that a varied balance of style assists the clarity & rhythm of the story. I think we both corroborated each other's points.

[cflute]

If you're getting verbose, it's in a good way. This comment made me smile. It's a good inspiration paragraph, and I'd like to signal-boost, with attribution. Let me know if that's okay, okay?

[thothmes]

I'm delighted to have pleased, and that would be just fine with me.