the New Improvised Zodiac

[lolmac]

In the mouseover text to LOLHoroscope, I introduced the first three signs of the New Improvised Zodiac.  Thanks to some mild egging on in the comments, I now present you with the entire list of signs:

Aqua Nozzlus (the Fire Hose)
MacGyvericus (the Hero)
Ferrus Bendium (the Paper Clip)
Lemiscus Argentum Major (the Great Silver Ribbon, aka Duct Tape)
Filum Laxus (the Loose Wire)
Tortilis Laxus (the Loose Screw)
Calceus (the Shoe)
Lemiscus Minor (the Piece of String)
Cultellus Exercitus Helveticanum (the Swiss Army Knife)
Saxum (the Rock)
Clava (the Stick)
Alchimicus Familiaris Peraccommodatus (the Extremely Convenient Household Chemical)

Other constellations doubtless wait to be discovered.  Certainly it's a fine thing to have your sun in Torreum (the Toaster).

Note:  I make no apologies for the appalling quality of my alleged Latin.