On Holly Desimone's blog (
http://fightforjustice.blogspot.com/), I found an awesome story about two Nova Scotia teenage boys who stood in support of a ninth grader who was being bullied. Check it out-- it's fantastic:
(From a Globe & Mail article)
“David Shepherd, Travis Price and their teenage friends organized a high-school protest to wear pink in sympathy with a Grade 9 boy who was being bullied…[They] took a stand against bullying when they protested against the harassment of a new Grade 9 student by distributing pink T-shirts to all the boys in their school.‘I learned that two people can come up with an idea, run with it, and it can do wonders,’ says Mr. Price, 17, who organized the pink protest. ‘Finally, someone stood up for a weaker kid.’So Mr. Shepherd and some other headed off to a discount store and bought 50 pink tank tops. They sent out message to schoolmates that night, and the next morning they hauled the shirts to school in a plastic bag.As they stood in the foyer handing out the shirts, the bullied boy walked in. His face spoke volumes. ‘It looked like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders,’ Mr. Price recalled.The bullies were never heard from again.”
I am the author of Courage in Patience, a story of hope for those who have endured abuse. One of the themes woven into the story is bullying. Like the young men from Nova Scotia discovered, when we stand together against those who would victimize others, the seemingly supernatural power that a bully has over a weaker person practically evaporates into thin air.
It's not easy, though, is it? In addition to being a writer, I am also a public school teacher. On a daily basis, I witness and combat bullying behaviors. Often, bullying is subtle, sneaky, and easily denied by the person or people who have decided, for whatever reason, that they have the right to make another student's life hell. While I hate to make generalizations, there are days that I believe that fifth grade girls are possibly the meanest creatures on earth. If the boys are bullied, I'm not seeing it to the degree that I see the girls doing it.
My students are surprised when I tell them that I was the type of kid they would have picked on. I didn't dress like everybody else. I was keenly aware of how awkward I was, and it showed. Being a grown-up and a teacher now, I realize that ALL kids feel awkward about themselves at some time or another, but I remember how wretched it was, and whenever I see a kid being picked on, the memory of that torture screams anew. Fortunately, now I am in the position to do what so many of my teachers did NOT do: insist that it stop. I cannot remember ONE teacher ever (1) making the harrassment stop and (2) taking me aside and saying, "Hey, are you okay? It's wrong that those kids acted that way. NOBODY deserves that, and I'm going to do everything I can to make it stop." Bullying was considered a rite of passage, I think, and that's -- let's call it what it is, shall we? Bullshit. It's bullshit.
Why, do you suppose, is it that some kids seem to skate through all those hellacious hormonal changes, and others (like I was) look, act, and feel like a hormone with legs? Stir in some sadistic kid who is PROBABLY picking on other kids because he or she feels like shit about him- or herself, and it's like a little walk through hell every day.
I teach fifth grade. The bullying I have been fighting this year has included a group of girls labeling another one a "whore" and a "cockroach"; they even put the word out that anyone who played with the girl was likewise a "cockroach." When confronted with it, the leader of the group denied it, but her minions admitted to it. It's still going on; I know it is; I see the little looks the girls give each other; the subtle way they leave their victim out of conversations. It disgusts me and the girls know it disgusts me and that when I catch them red-handed, they're going to get an earful.
I've seen notes with fabricated "she saids" about another girl, and, again, when confronted, the letter-writer admitted it was all lies. She only wrote it to fire up the others against the girl.
The little girl being ostracized could have been me. To be honest, I was such an invisible wallflower of a kid to everybody but the bullies, I don't think there would have been any big show of support for me, any more than there would be for this little girl. Maybe...a teacher somehow inspired the boys.
And...maybe...I could do the same.