(no subject)
I started off the new year on a sour note. I rolled out of bed not exactly in top form (highly due in my part to the drinking I participated in the night before) and was less than excited about the 12 hour car ride ahead of us. I was happy to get back to the familiarity of home, but wasn't ready to make the journey.
As we set off, I remembered after visiting with family and friends all week, my bank account looked pretty sad. I convinced myself I had enough in there to put gas in the car to get home, and swiped my card with high hopes after our first fill. Have you ever had your card rejected? The much dreaded "insufficient funds" popped up on the clerks screen. Of course after he had stated loudly that my card didn't go through, I insisted he try it again. Surely the magical money fairy had seen me in my distressed state and moved quickly to ensure no further embarrassment. This wasn't so. The second time it was rejected I was pretty sure "loser" popped up on the screen as I walked off with my head held low to go find my boyfriend.
My sour mood worsened when I got back in the car and had time to think. It was New Year's Day, I was 21 years old and I didn't even have enough money in my account to pay for gas. After thinking about it for some time, I gathered I was quite pathetic. The only thing worse then knowing how pathetic you are? Crying and telling others how pathetic you are. Let me tell you, this wasn't the most joyful car ride my poor boyfriend had experienced.
My foul mood seemed to stay around for the next few days, until I made a plan. I find they're fairly inspirational. After I declared I was going back to school in September and going to accomplish the goals I had long dreamed of, I felt a lot better. Almost as if I were half way there. Then I remembered this little blog I started. You know, the one where I listed all of my goals back in October but hadn't actually done anything yet? I knew writing these down would come back to haunt me.
Back to my foul mood.
Then January 20 rolled around. The much waited inauguration of Barack Obama was about to happen. I myself am not an American, but I did know what I was watching was history in the making. It was 5:30 am when I turned on the TV to see the news channels buzzing about the days events, and I quickly became more intrigued then I thought I would. I was taking my break at work when I logged onto CNN to watch Obama be sworn in. Millions of people had arrived several hours before to brave the frigid temperatures of Washington to see the first African American president take the Presidential Oath. The crowds were buzzing, music was playing, and there was an enormous spirit in the crowd I wish I could have personally witnessed.
Then the 44th President of the United States of America walked onstage. I've never heard a crowd roar so loud. America is experiencing its worst economic crisis since the 30's, and here was a man with not only a plan, but a realistic one at that. I became overwhelmed as he took the Presidential Oath, and listened intently to his speech. He acknowleged the long road ahead, but also gave hope where hope was needed, and promised to serve his country as best he can. Seeing him standing there, leader of the highest office in the United States, one must acknowledge how far not only America, but the world has come. Not too long ago, African Americans were slaves. Their lives were seen to be less valuble than that of a white persons, and they were made to work in poor conditions for no money at all. They dreamed back then, of a better life. They dreamed of one day living in a world of equality.
Reflecting on all of this, I felt so foolish for the way I felt on New Years Day. Here I am feeling sorry for myself when all I need to do is get out and try. Too many people these days believe that things should be handed to you, that they should come easily and without sacrafice.
If you want something, and I mean really want it, you have to give it your all. What good is accomplishment without sacrafice?
As we set off, I remembered after visiting with family and friends all week, my bank account looked pretty sad. I convinced myself I had enough in there to put gas in the car to get home, and swiped my card with high hopes after our first fill. Have you ever had your card rejected? The much dreaded "insufficient funds" popped up on the clerks screen. Of course after he had stated loudly that my card didn't go through, I insisted he try it again. Surely the magical money fairy had seen me in my distressed state and moved quickly to ensure no further embarrassment. This wasn't so. The second time it was rejected I was pretty sure "loser" popped up on the screen as I walked off with my head held low to go find my boyfriend.
My sour mood worsened when I got back in the car and had time to think. It was New Year's Day, I was 21 years old and I didn't even have enough money in my account to pay for gas. After thinking about it for some time, I gathered I was quite pathetic. The only thing worse then knowing how pathetic you are? Crying and telling others how pathetic you are. Let me tell you, this wasn't the most joyful car ride my poor boyfriend had experienced.
My foul mood seemed to stay around for the next few days, until I made a plan. I find they're fairly inspirational. After I declared I was going back to school in September and going to accomplish the goals I had long dreamed of, I felt a lot better. Almost as if I were half way there. Then I remembered this little blog I started. You know, the one where I listed all of my goals back in October but hadn't actually done anything yet? I knew writing these down would come back to haunt me.
Back to my foul mood.
Then January 20 rolled around. The much waited inauguration of Barack Obama was about to happen. I myself am not an American, but I did know what I was watching was history in the making. It was 5:30 am when I turned on the TV to see the news channels buzzing about the days events, and I quickly became more intrigued then I thought I would. I was taking my break at work when I logged onto CNN to watch Obama be sworn in. Millions of people had arrived several hours before to brave the frigid temperatures of Washington to see the first African American president take the Presidential Oath. The crowds were buzzing, music was playing, and there was an enormous spirit in the crowd I wish I could have personally witnessed.
Then the 44th President of the United States of America walked onstage. I've never heard a crowd roar so loud. America is experiencing its worst economic crisis since the 30's, and here was a man with not only a plan, but a realistic one at that. I became overwhelmed as he took the Presidential Oath, and listened intently to his speech. He acknowleged the long road ahead, but also gave hope where hope was needed, and promised to serve his country as best he can. Seeing him standing there, leader of the highest office in the United States, one must acknowledge how far not only America, but the world has come. Not too long ago, African Americans were slaves. Their lives were seen to be less valuble than that of a white persons, and they were made to work in poor conditions for no money at all. They dreamed back then, of a better life. They dreamed of one day living in a world of equality.
Reflecting on all of this, I felt so foolish for the way I felt on New Years Day. Here I am feeling sorry for myself when all I need to do is get out and try. Too many people these days believe that things should be handed to you, that they should come easily and without sacrafice.
If you want something, and I mean really want it, you have to give it your all. What good is accomplishment without sacrafice?