(no subject)
sometimes i wonder how people forget that my life is different from them... i guess its almost human nature... our only reality is the one within our mind. so i guess i can see how.... i just wish they didn't do it so much with me... maybe then i would be understood more often...
well, anyways... sometimes i spend a lot of time thinking about the lack of relationship in my life... there never has been, and it almost seems futile to think that there would be something close in the future.... I have certainly wasted thousands of hours in my fantasy world... that someone might come sweep me up, and we'd be able to spend time together. I don't know. Frankly, i'm sick of that whole mindset.... yet i can't help but feel lonely. i just want someone i can be close to... someone i know that i have rights to be close to... and that it won't ever be threatened. while i have kc, she's in london... and while i have sara and nick, they've got their own lives and friends and everything...
yet, i am scared to death that i will become like leah. seriously, if i ever get clingy and bossy and annoying in a relationship, kill me. i can't stand her and bryan sometimes, just because it makes me so sick!
i'm so in a bryan white mood right now... "you know how i feel"ish in a way... and totally "this town".... and sometimes i'm leaning towards the "we could have been/i'm not supposed to love you anymore" attitude. its weird.
well, anyways. i'm really excited about APRIL 20th... MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE is gonna rock...
well, anyways... sometimes i spend a lot of time thinking about the lack of relationship in my life... there never has been, and it almost seems futile to think that there would be something close in the future.... I have certainly wasted thousands of hours in my fantasy world... that someone might come sweep me up, and we'd be able to spend time together. I don't know. Frankly, i'm sick of that whole mindset.... yet i can't help but feel lonely. i just want someone i can be close to... someone i know that i have rights to be close to... and that it won't ever be threatened. while i have kc, she's in london... and while i have sara and nick, they've got their own lives and friends and everything...
yet, i am scared to death that i will become like leah. seriously, if i ever get clingy and bossy and annoying in a relationship, kill me. i can't stand her and bryan sometimes, just because it makes me so sick!
i'm so in a bryan white mood right now... "you know how i feel"ish in a way... and totally "this town".... and sometimes i'm leaning towards the "we could have been/i'm not supposed to love you anymore" attitude. its weird.
well, anyways. i'm really excited about APRIL 20th... MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE is gonna rock...