i feel like dying
i hate my life. i tried to ratalize it today. i tried to tell myself all i needed to do was just breathe. that it was okay that i have absolutly no love life. that all my friends suck. that right now school bores me, my classes suck.
i remember how my life was this past winter and spring. i was soo happy. i had the boys, i had the best group of friends and we would go out all the time. people actually called me.
but here i am now. 22 yrs old and sitting at home alone on a friday night.
i did make an effort to go out tonight. i made movie plans with meg, but she never showed and i just got a call from her saying that she got held up at work. i tried to go see the movie alone but it was sold out. i had called a bunch of people today and left messages on their phones, but of course no one calls me back.
there has to be something wrong with me. i dont know what more i can do for people. i dont know how much more i can give and how low my expectations of people have to get because i dont think they can get any lower.
i cant be in this house all night, i will do something rash. but i dont know how i can go out alone to bar tonight. thats how i spend all my weekends.
i am leaving buffalo too. nobody there really cares about me either. they are all fake. they can barely listen, i catch them daydreaming when i talk.
i hate being such a loser.
the only thing that is keeping me from dying tonight is my family. they are all i have.
i remember how my life was this past winter and spring. i was soo happy. i had the boys, i had the best group of friends and we would go out all the time. people actually called me.
but here i am now. 22 yrs old and sitting at home alone on a friday night.
i did make an effort to go out tonight. i made movie plans with meg, but she never showed and i just got a call from her saying that she got held up at work. i tried to go see the movie alone but it was sold out. i had called a bunch of people today and left messages on their phones, but of course no one calls me back.
there has to be something wrong with me. i dont know what more i can do for people. i dont know how much more i can give and how low my expectations of people have to get because i dont think they can get any lower.
i cant be in this house all night, i will do something rash. but i dont know how i can go out alone to bar tonight. thats how i spend all my weekends.
i am leaving buffalo too. nobody there really cares about me either. they are all fake. they can barely listen, i catch them daydreaming when i talk.
i hate being such a loser.
the only thing that is keeping me from dying tonight is my family. they are all i have.