Good Baby, Bad Baby
Before Asher was born, I heard from other moms about this phenomenon: people asking if they had a "good baby." It wasn't long after he arrived that I witnessed it for myself. I just gave the person a confused look and said, "Oh, yeah, he's great."
Supposedly, if a child rarely cries and sleeps mostly through the night, they are a "good baby." In which case, I lied. But I don't believe that meeting those ideals make a baby "good." Babies who are ignored and left to cry it out are quieter and sleep through the night more often, but that's out of depression and giving up trying to make their needs known. As an attached parent and aspiring psychologist, the thought makes me sick.
Now, Asher is ten months old. He tantrums, he's up constantly in the night, and he's into everything. What annoys his other family members the most is his tendency to blow bubbles when we're trying to feed him. The food is spat everywhere. So, these family members have taken to saying, "Bad baby!"
And my heart stops each time I hear it. "What the hell?" I say to myself, "My baby is not bad!"
I just don't get it. I don't think of myself as being a permissive parent, but I don't see how yelling at a ten-month-old is effective. Expecting exemplary behavior from a baby will only leave you disappointed. Finally, he'll eat solids without argument (or spitting) when he's ready. Forcing them only makes it worse.
Is he a good baby? In my world, he's the best. And a little troublemaking does not a bad baby make.
Supposedly, if a child rarely cries and sleeps mostly through the night, they are a "good baby." In which case, I lied. But I don't believe that meeting those ideals make a baby "good." Babies who are ignored and left to cry it out are quieter and sleep through the night more often, but that's out of depression and giving up trying to make their needs known. As an attached parent and aspiring psychologist, the thought makes me sick.
Now, Asher is ten months old. He tantrums, he's up constantly in the night, and he's into everything. What annoys his other family members the most is his tendency to blow bubbles when we're trying to feed him. The food is spat everywhere. So, these family members have taken to saying, "Bad baby!"
And my heart stops each time I hear it. "What the hell?" I say to myself, "My baby is not bad!"
I just don't get it. I don't think of myself as being a permissive parent, but I don't see how yelling at a ten-month-old is effective. Expecting exemplary behavior from a baby will only leave you disappointed. Finally, he'll eat solids without argument (or spitting) when he's ready. Forcing them only makes it worse.
Is he a good baby? In my world, he's the best. And a little troublemaking does not a bad baby make.