I only ever wanted
I only ever wanted him to be happy. both of them. either of them.
I just didn't realize that for either of them to be happy, my heart was going to be broken.
That's fine I guess. I no longer love him. I also no longer hate him. I just don't care anymore. about anything. I go through the motions of my life. I get up, go to work, come home. I have no desire to see or do or talk to anyone. I just want to be left alone to do what I need to do to get by. I am so very tired of pretending that things are ok. I would be perfectly fine if everything just stopped. I have no plans on ending things, in case you're worried about that. I lack the motivation to carry anything out but everyday I wish that it would just end.
I'm just very tired and I just don't care anymore.